Chapter 7 7: The Dream Catcher
\[ K A R A \]
On our way back home, Ryder and I didn't say one word to each other. But he gave me the occasional glance, as if to check if I was okay. I sat silently in the car, still trying to process everything. Every time I remembered what just happened, I felt like throwing up. But I reminded myself that it was done and I was okay now. I was sitting in Ryder’s truck with him, and I felt warm and snug under his jacket. Being able to inhale his scent over and over again felt amazing because it really told me that I was truly safe.
When Ryder and I finally got to the house, he parked the car and took a deep breath before killing the engine. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure.
"Thank you for... coming for me," I said lowly, deciding to break the silence for us.
Ryder sighed in exasperation. "I told you not to get in the car with him, why didn't you listen to me?" he said rather sternly.
"I was feeling sick, he offered to take me home. And you ditched me, I couldn't find you…"
"Shit Kara! He almost--! Fuck!" Ryder growled. He was pissed. Why was he so pissed at me?
"I'm sorry..." I muttered.
"You don't just go into strangers' cars! Did no one ever tell you that?"
"He was nice to me at first. And I thought he was your friend..." I reasoned.
"Yeah, he's my friend-- but I'm a jackass! All my friends are jackasses!" he growled.
"I'm sorry, I should've been more careful..."
"And you shouldn't be drinking if you can't handle your liquor—"
"I know, I know, it's all my fault. I'm sorry..." whimpering, I was about to cry again.
Ryder took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. His hand curled up into a fist and it was pressed roughly against his car seat.
"No, it wasn't your fault," he said suddenly.
He stayed quiet for a while. "I should have never left you. I'm sorry," he said in almost a whisper.
\[ R Y D E R \]
We took our shoes off before we went upstairs to our rooms, making sure we made no sound so our parents wouldn't wake up. The last thing we need right now would be an interrogation. Thankfully, we managed to make it upstairs without waking our parents. I was walking Kara to her room, but when we reached Kara's door, she stopped and suddenly turned to me.
"Thanks... again," she whispered weakly.
She looked so fragile. I had to use every bit of strength I had left to restrain myself from wrapping her into my arms again. I wanted to do that, but there was a part of me that said I shouldn’t do it. So instead, I put my hand on the top of her head and stroked her hair gently. She looked up at me with those wide blue eyes.
Damn, I wish I could kiss her.
As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I shook it away instantly. My eyes darted away from her lips, and I noticed the marks on her neck and collarbone. My whole body was tensed and burned up all over again.
I'm gonna fucking kill Cameron.
Kara noticed that I was staring at her bruises. It made her feel uncomfortable, so she pulled my jacket closer to her neck.
"Can I keep this for now?" she said, referring to the jacket.
All that anger and tension suddenly went away at the sound of her voice.
"It's yours," I replied.
"Good night," she said again before quickly disappearing into her room and closing the door on me.
I wanted so much to open this door and follow her into the room. But I knew it was a line I could not cross. So I just took a deep breath and walked away.
Time for a cold shower.
\[ K A R A \]
I took a hot shower, maybe two or three times. I rubbed and scrubbed, making sure I cleaned every inch of my body. When I thought about what happened there in the woods, I cringed so bad I wanted to peel my skin out.
I'm exhausted. My skin is red and burning from the hot shower scrubbing session. I also decided to sleep with the lights on tonight. And as I was lying there on my bed, I couldn't help but wonder, what would have happened if Ryder hadn't come for me?
I was drifting in and out of sleep. Horrible images kept flashing back at me, and the words that Cameron said were stuck on replay.
"Drop the act, princess,"
"I know you want me,"
"I bet you're already wet for me,"
"I'm gonna fuck you so good,"
I was seeing it again, his rough hands slapping and grabbing at my breasts, his erection being pressed against my lower down, his hot and heavy breaths all over my neck, and his tongue forced itself roughly into my mouth, causing me to almost gag.
“Shut up!” Cameron grunted and his hand went to choke my throat. “Just be a good bitch and take it!”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. He was too strong and I was far too stupid to get myself into this position in the first place. Cameron was smiling triumphantly as his knee pulled my thighs apart and he positioned himself at my entrance. My eyes fluttered shut as I awaited the worst to come, hoping I would just die instead.
"Ah!!" I screamed and woke up in terror.
I was absolutely relieved when I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling of my bedroom. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to calm myself down and I kept telling myself that it was just a dream. It was just a bad dream.
I was panting and sweating. I was scared. I couldn't close my eyes again. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Cameron and his smug ugly smile. I didn’t want to see that. I wanted to see… Ryder instead. I wanted Ryder next to me. I wanted Ryder to hold me.
\[ R Y D E R \]
I ran cold water over my torn knuckles. I felt the burn as the water touched my bare flesh and the blood was being washed out. It was painful, but I imagined she must be in a lot more pain.
God, she looked so scared. I just wanted to hold her.
As I lay on my bed that night, I stirred and groaned, trying to force myself to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face again. She was frightened to death. Luckily, I had gotten there right on time. If I was only a few seconds late, I didn’t know what would have happened to her.
When I hugged her in my arms, it was like I could feel all her emotions. She was so terrified, and I just wanted to take all those fears away. I wanted to bury her face into mine so that she knows she's all right.
I need to make sure that she’s all right.
I quickly rolled over my bed and started walking to the door, but then I stopped my tracks. I was thinking of the scenario that would unfold if I actually went to her room.
What am I gonna do? Knock on her door? Ask her if she could sleep? Hold her when she says she's scared? Kiss her forehead and caress her cheeks? Lay next to her? Lay with her?
I could see it all happening in my head, and I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. I saved her from Cameron, sure, but I had to save her from me too.
Fuck.
I knew that going to her room was just going to make things more complicated. As much as I wanted to hold her and make sure she was okay, I stopped myself, turned around, and went back to bed.
\[ K A R A \]
I was already standing in front of the door with my hand on the doorknob, when I came to my senses and I stopped myself.
What was I thinking? Was I really going to go to Ryder's room?
Oh, Kara. I know you've just been through a lot, you're in a fragile state right now, but this is not the answer, I said to myself. Sure, it would feel nice to have Ryder stay with me for a while, but what happens next? On top of the already confusing sexual tension that was going on between us, this was not gonna end well.
So, I sighed and let go of the doorknob. Turning away from the door, in my peripheral vision, I saw Ryder's black jacket hanging on the chair. I took the jacket and slowly put it over me. With this jacket on my body, I could almost feel like it was him hugging me.
So sad and pathetic.
Still, with his jacket around my body, I walked back to bed. Ryder's scent was all over me again and it made me feel like he was here with me. Laying on the bed, I closed my eyes and I let my mind think that he was actually here, that his face was right in front of mine. That my fingers could run through his skin if I reached out my hand.
Oh, this is not right, Kara. But it's not wrong either. And at least for now, it's enough.
I wasn’t seeing Cameron anymore. All I could see was Ryder and the way he looked at me and the way he wrapped his arms around my body. I felt safe and warm. And with that thought in mind, I drifted into a peaceful sleep.
“Kara, honey! Time for breakfast!”
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my mom yelling for me to eat breakfast. I was tired and groggy, but a smile escaped my lips as soon as I saw the black jacket wrapped around my body. Somehow, it made me feel all warm and giddy on the inside, as if I was actually waking up with him next to me.
Stupid girl, you're so pathetic.
I remembered that he said I could keep it, and my heart fluttered at the thought. I got up from the bed energetically and made my way to the en-suite bathroom to get ready. For a secondm I wondered if I should put the jacket in the laundry bin, but if I washed it then it wouldn't smell like him anymore. So instead of doing that, I decided to just fold the jacket neatly and put it inside my closet.
When I got down to the kitchen several minutes later, I saw that my mom was busy making eggs, Peter was sipping his coffee while reading the papers, and Ryder was eating a bowl of cereal. His eyes lit up as soon as he saw me.
"Kara, finally you're up. Come, we have eggs," mom said cheerfully.
"Thanks," I said as I grabbed a plate.
"How was the party last night? You kids were home pretty late," she asked, and my breath hitched instinctively. Ryder shot me a worried look.
"It was okay. Nothing much happened," I said with my mouth full of eggs.
"Did you make any friends?" mom said again.
"Eh, yeah, sure," I replied.
"Why are you wearing a scarf? It's like 80 degrees outside," mom chuckled at me.
Oh yeah, I had to use this scarf to cover up the bruises the rapist left me. But obviously, I couldn’t tell her that.
"Really? I feel kinda cold though, weird, ha-ha. Hey, your eggs are great," I laughed nervously and switched the topic. “What’d you put in there?”
“Oh, it’s the secret ingredient, let me tell you…”
Mom started ranting about some secret ingredient she learned while watching Gordon Ramsay. I nodded my head like I was listening enthusiastically, but I was just glad we were able to change the topic.
As mom turned her back to me and continued cooking, Ryder looked at me and while no one was looking, and he mouthed, "You okay?"
I smiled and gave him a reassuring nod. He looked relieved almost immediately.
"So, you ready for the big match tomorrow? It's the first leg of the qualifying series, right?" Peter said to Ryder as he folded his newspaper. Ryder’s eyes quickly went to his dad.
"Yeah, I feel good," Ryder coughed.
"Hey, what happened to your hand?" Peter suddenly said and that was when I noticed the bruises on his knuckles. It was so badly battered up.
"Ah... training. I must've bruised myself," Ryder replied.
Lies. I knew where that's from.
"You must be training really hard, huh? We're really excited to see you compete tomorrow," Mom said to Ryder.
Ryder gave mom a nod and a polite smile. I waited and looked over to him when no one was watching and mouthed, "You okay?"
His lips twitched into a knowing smile, and he just winked at me.
\- - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -