Chapter 146 Merde

Chapter 146 Merde
The door burst open so hard it slammed against the wall.

Mateo rushed in, eyes wild, hair neatly combed, wearing something neat too. The moment he saw me sitting up in bed, sipping the green smoothie Jake had brought, the tension in his shoulders shattered.

He crossed the room in three long strides and pulled me into his arms, careful but desperate. His hands roamed over my back, my hair, my face as he kissed me everywhere - forehead, cheeks, nose, eyelids, the corner of my mouth. Over and over like he was trying to convince himself I was really here and breathing.

I started laughing despite everything, the sound watery and tired. "Mateo... I'm fine. I'm okay."

He pulled back just enough to look at me, hands cupping my face. His thumbs brushed my cheeks, eyes searching mine like he was looking for cracks.

I hesitated, the laughter fading. My chest felt tight. Guilt, fear, sadness, and shame all crashed together at once. I had carried this secret for so long, and after yesterday... after the blood, the panic, the way I had passed out in his arms... I couldn't hold it anymore.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, voice breaking. "I'm so sorry I hid it from you."

Mateo shook his head immediately, forehead resting against mine. "I won't blame you for being paranoid about Valentina. After everything she's done-"

"No," I cut in, shaking my head. Tears burned my eyes. "It's not just from now. I've been scared for months. I was terrified I would ruin Lucian's life... or break your heart. That's why I kept it secret." 

Matoe just looked at me.

"I have known before I left for Berlin and..." My voice cracked. "I'm sorry, Mateo. Lucian... he's not your son."

He went very still. There was no much surprise in his eyes but he still looked betrayed. For a split second.

I swallowed hard, trembling now. "I mean... he's not your biological son."

Mateo stared at me for a long second. Then he leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, soft and gentle.

"I know," he said quietly.

The relief hit me so hard my breath caught. But right behind it came confusion and deep shame. I started shaking harder, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, voice small. "I should have told you. I was so scared."

Mateo pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me like he could shield me from the whole world.

"Both ways dear. After you left me and went back to Berlin," he said softly, "Lucian started therapy. He said something during one of the sessions that didn't make sense. I was losing my mind, so... I did a DNA test. He's not a biological match."

I pulled back just enough to stare at him, shocked. "You knew?"

He nodded, eyes tired but steady. "I've known for a while." he exhaled in defeat.

I buried my face in his chest, hugging him as tight as I could. "I still shouldn't have kept it from you. I'm so sorry."

Mateo let out a soft, broken laugh and kissed the top of my head. "Before you, I didn't care about much. I cared about Lucian, yes... but I was empty. Then you came into my life like a storm. That night in New York... I wanted you immediately. But I thought you didn't remember me. I thought it was just a fling to you."

I looked up at him, surprised. "Then we just met."

"Exactly," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "We had just met. And you still left that hole in me. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

I let out a shaky breath and told him about Valentina's call - every cruel word, every threat, how unhinged she sounded. I told him I was genuinely scared she might try to hurt me.

Mateo listened without interrupting, his hand gently moving through my hair. When I finished, he stayed quiet for a long moment, processing.

Finally, he spoke, voice low and careful. "I can sue Valentina for paternity fraud. I can formally adopt Lucian. I can tell him the truth when he's ready. And I will always love him like my own." He paused, jaw tight. "But if she's threatening you... if she's this unstable..."

He trailed off, looking lost for words.

I reached up and touched his face. He took my hand and pressed it against his cheek, rubbing his face into my palm almost desperately, sniffing hard like he was fighting back emotion.

I saw it then - the real fear in his eyes. He was terrified. Not fear, it was more like he was terrified of what he would do.

"So... what are you going to do about the father?" I asked quietly. "Have you spoken to him yet?"

Mateo shook his head. "I don't know who the father is."

I froze.

He noticed immediately. His eyes sharpened on my face, reading me like an open book.

"Please tell me," he said, voice gentle but urgent.

I looked away, heart hammering. The secret had lived in me for so long that saying it out loud felt impossible.

Mateo waited, patient but tense.

I took a shaky breath.

"It's Rafiq, Mateo." My voice was barely above a whisper. "Lucian is Rafiq's son."

Mateo went completely still.

For a long second, he just stared at me. Then, slowly, he let go of my hand. Without another word, he stood up and walked out of the room.

The door clicked shut behind him.

I sat there in the hospital bed, heart pounding, staring at the empty space where he had been.

And for the first time, I wondered if I had just broken us beyond repair.

Shit!