Chapter 61 Let Go of Me

Chapter 61 Let Go of Me

Rebecca's POV

I don't usually perform in front of people, but Grace gave me this chance tonight, and I wanted to play something for her.

She's genuinely kind. She always notices how people are feeling. She's tall, but her heart is so soft.

I looked at Jeffrey and Grace. "This one's for you two."

The music started flowing, and the smell of charcoal drifted through the air. The two of them, who'd been laughing and talking, took each other's hands and started spinning slowly around the yard to the rhythm.

Their feelings for each other are so real. I wanted this piece to be a blessing for them.

Tonight was probably the most relaxed I'd been in weeks. Meeting people who matter to Steven didn't turn out to be the ordeal I'd expected.

When I was with Everett, he had too many friends, and I always felt like background noise.

Those people had something I instinctively recoiled from, but tonight was different. I loved everything about it. I even felt like I actually belonged in this little circle.

Jeffrey and Grace made me feel so welcome. They're both genuine people with real empathy.

On the drive back, I sat with my hand resting on my stomach without thinking. Maybe because I was in such a good mood, I'd eaten quite a bit and felt completely full.

Steven glanced at me, his voice carrying a different warmth. "Thanks for coming tonight."

I blinked, unable to stop myself from smiling. "I should be thanking you."

"Jeffrey and Grace are wonderful. I had such a good time with them."

"Their relationship seems so solid, like they'll just keep going forever."

Steven nodded. "Yeah, they've always been like that."

The car went quiet. I suddenly remembered what Grace had whispered to me by the grill.

I'd been turning the beef when Grace came over with a plate. She pressed close and lowered her voice. "Rebecca, you know what? Steven's had a girl he's liked since he was little."

My hand stopped mid-turn. So Steven has someone he likes?

I had no idea. By the time I came to my senses and wanted to ask more, Grace had already been called away by Jeffrey. I didn't even get a chance to finish my questions, let alone find out who this girl was.

Now I'm sitting in the passenger seat, stealing glances at Steven.

Someone as controlled as him actually has a girl he's liked since childhood?

That kind of devotion feels almost mythical these days.

I'm still skeptical, honestly. Nowadays most people can't even manage to "like just one person," let alone carry a torch from childhood to now.

Maybe my staring was too obvious—there's no hiding anything from a trained soldier.

Steven let out a soft sigh. "Rebecca, what do you want to ask?"

I stared at his profile. I have to admit, he's striking, and there's something about him that makes it hard to look away.

If he says he likes someone, that wouldn't be surprising. But I still can't help the twist in my chest.

What would the girl he likes be like?

If they ever get together, the way he and I interact now would probably have to end, wouldn't it?

I don't have the courage to ask these questions out loud. With my current status, I have no right to dig for those answers.

The car's a small space, and when he looks at me, his gaze is so direct it almost pins me in place.

I had to come up with something lighter than the truth. "I was thinking about whether what Jeffrey said was actually true."

"It's true." Steven didn't hesitate, laying it out plainly.

He really can't read the room. He shut down the conversation in just a few words.

The car went quiet again. The ride was smooth, the night pitch black, and I slowly started drifting off.

I vaguely felt someone touch my face. When I groggily opened my eyes, Steven had already pulled his hand back, looking apologetic.

"We're home. Just wanted to wake you."

I nodded, wanting to sit up. Right now, I didn't want him touching me anymore.

He belongs to that girl in his heart. I shouldn't have too much physical contact with him.

But something held me down, keeping me from sitting up.

Childhood scenes of being pinned down by hands and feet, unable to move, suddenly rushed back.

Those memories almost completely swallowed my consciousness. The terror of that man from the past pressing me down, not letting me move, dragged me back into that suffocating state.

I started struggling violently. "Steven, what did you do to me? Let me go!"

Steven sighed quietly. He reached toward me, and I instinctively pulled back. Only then did I see he was just reaching over to unbuckle my seatbelt.

He looked both helpless and calm. "It's not me. It's the seatbelt."

Only then did I slowly come to my senses and realize what I'd just done. My heart sank. Once again, I'd been led by my emotions and made a scene in front of him.

I'd been half-asleep and hadn't realized—I hadn't unbuckled my seatbelt, but I'd projected all that suffocating feeling onto him and turned it into this whole misunderstanding.

I turned my face toward the window, not daring to look at his expression. My body was still trembling slightly. I know I'm not some unstable person who loses control constantly, but what just happened seemed to prove otherwise.

Steven has always been so good to me, but just now I treated him like he was someone else.

The car stopped in front of the house. He didn't rush me to get out. I was still caught up in that panic and couldn't move.

I really didn't dare face him. I was afraid of seeing even a hint of irritation in his eyes.

Normal people don't suddenly yell and scream. Normal people don't struggle violently without warning. My reaction just now was anything but "normal."

Steven got out and came around to the passenger side. He wanted to help me up, but I instinctively pulled away again.

That whole embarrassing chain of events, plus that ache in my chest, made me just want to shut him out.

"Don't worry about me. Go worry about the girl you love."

When Steven heard this, he immediately pulled his hand back. He looked at me with a complicated expression. "Rebecca, stop this. We should go inside."

He didn't deny it, which for me was basically confirmation. That ache in my chest was amplified by his words.

When I mentioned the girl he loves, his whole demeanor seemed to soften. It's obvious he still keeps a place in his heart for her.

I shouldn't expect more. In his life, I'm probably just a brief stop along the way.

And I'm still that person trapped in the past. Even the smallest trigger can make me overreact.

I just looked like a patient suddenly having an episode.

I was pathetic. Even Everett couldn't understand me, let alone expect anyone else to fully get me.

Steven doesn't belong to me either. He belongs to that little girl in his memories, and I'm still like before—processing everything alone.

It's always been like this. No matter when, in the end, it's still just me.

I heard my own voice breaking without even realizing it. "Please, just don't worry about me right now. Let me be alone for a bit, okay?"