Prologue

Sofia's POV.

"I don't think you ready for this, Sofia. You haven't been the same after everything," Anna said as she ran her hand through my hair. I was dressed up for this funeral. I wore black even though I wasn't feeling well. I wanted to go to where Benjamin was now. I wanted to be with him.

"You think you can do it?" Charlotte asked, lowering her eyes.

"I can do it," I mumbled, looking down.

"Have you decided what you will do after this?" I knew what Charlotte was asking me. I still hadn't made a decision, but after everything, I didn't even know if I could live anymore.

"I will have to move on for my sons and daughter." My heart was broken. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted my be—I shut my thoughts down because thinking about everything just made me dead. Life was so surprising.

"I can walk to the grave with you," Damien offered, giving me a weak smile. "You don't have to do this alone. We all here for you." I knew everyone was hurting too, but they all just wanted to comfort me. They all grew up together, and if I fe;t like dying right now, then I was sure they were already dead inside.

"It's fine. The funereal already started. I'll just visit the gave now, and don't forget—I survived prison." I picked a rose and walked away. I didn't get why everyone was treating me like a small baby. Benjamin already sent me to jail once, but today, standing here—I wished I could go back to that time. There was no way we could bring back a dead person, especially when you were the reason they were dead. I wished none of this ever happened.

I walked to the grave, and my heart started beating faster. I started having flashbacks of all the memories of us together. He was the reason for my happiness. His sweet touch, his arrogance, his rudeness, and his love for me made me feel alive. How could I live without him?

The fresh breeze played with my hair as I put the rose down. A tear of shame, remorse, and everything else I felt dropped from my eye. Life went on no matter what happened. I remembered what he told me.

"You know you’re the reason for everything." I took a deep breath as tears started streaming down my face. "You’re the reason everything happened. If it wasn't for you, I would've never been—" I paused my speech, crying. How did it get to this? First jail, and now this. "I love you so much, Benjamin. You’re the reason I came here today. I miss you so much. And I can't live without you. I have told everyone I can, but the truth is I can't do it without you. I wish none of those things ever happened. After you sent me to jail, I made sure to hate you. I hated you for ruining me, but somehow, I just could never hate you. Elijah, Emily, and Oliver will never be the same. I don't know if they can live without a father. I already miss you so much, Benjamin. I don't know how I will live without you, but now, I have to do it for my children. Please forgive me for everything I did to you."