Chapter 4 The Trial
Amrah: The Trial
I nodded at Chris, my heart pounding because I was scared.
"Fine"
His face lit up, and before I could change my mind, he grabbed my waist pushing me against the nearest wall and his lips pressed against mine, confident and insistent.
I flinched but Chris didn't seem to notice that my body was rejecting his.
I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the moment, trying to feel something as good as that night...
Did I just thought about my kiss with Zayd?
I moved my lips against Chris's, trying to focus on the kiss but all I could think about was Zayd.
The way Zayd had kissed me that night had been different. Gentle at first, asking permission even without words. His hands had been steady on my waist, grounding me, making me feel safe and wanted all at once.
When he'd deepened the kiss, it had felt natural, like we were moving together in some kind of dance only we knew the steps to.
This was nothing like that.
Chris's kiss was aggressive. His tongue pushed into my mouth almost immediately, not asking, just taking.
One of his hands gripped the back of my neck, holding me in place, while the other slid down to my lower back, pulling me closer than I wanted to be.
I tried to relax, tried to respond the way I thought I should, but everything felt wrong.
His cologne was too strong, making my nose itch. His grip was too tight, making me feel trapped rather than cherished.
The kiss itself was wet and overwhelming, like he was trying to prove something rather than actually connect with me.
His hand slipped from my neck to breast and gave it an aggressive squeeze.
"Mmmnnn!" I moaned out in pain.
I pulled back slightly, but Chris followed, his hand on my waist keeping me from moving too far. My discomfort grew, spreading through my chest like ice water.
With Zayd, I'd felt like I was melting. With Chris, I felt like I was drowning.
Finally, I pressed both hands against his chest and pushed, harder this time. He pulled back, looking confused and slightly annoyed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I just_" I touched my lips, trying to find the right words.
"I need a minute."
"Was it not good?" His confusion shifted to concern, but there was an edge to it.
Like he couldn't quite believe someone wouldn't enjoy kissing him.
"It was fine," I lied, taking another step back. My skin still prickled where his hands had been.
"I just wasn't ready for it to be so... intense."
Chris laughed, apparently taking that as a compliment.
"I'm a passionate guy. When I want something, I go for it." He reached for me again.
"We could try again, slower this time if you want. I promise you will feel good"
"No." The word came out sharper than I intended. "I mean, not right now."
He frowned, clearly disappointed. "Come on, Amrah. I thought we had something here. I was planning to go all the way, you will feel good"
I couldn't, standing here with my lips still tingling uncomfortably from his kiss, I wasn't so sure I will feel good.
The comparison to Zayd kept playing in my mind, and I hated myself for it.
I shouldn't be comparing them.
Zayd is his best friend and roommate. We only kissed because of the dare. How could I be thinking of him when I supposed to be enjoying kissing my boyfriend.
So why was I here measuring the kisses?
"You should go," I said, grabbing my bag from the floor where it had been abandoned.
"What? Are you sending me away right now?"
"Chris..."
"I knew it. You don't fucking love me! You always find excuses whenever we are about to have sex, now you are blatantly sending me away"
"I don't want it!"
"You don't want me? So it was all a lie when you said you missed me? You kept spamming me with messages about missing me but now that I'm here, you are sending me away"
Guilt began to hit me as hard as it could, my heart wrenched as he spoke. Maybe he was right, I was being so over sensitive.
I dropped my bag again and pulled him for a kiss while ignoring every blaring warning in my head.
Chris responded quickly, too quickly. His hands roamed my body hungrily as he moved us to the living room, he plopped onto a couch and I strangled him clumsily, our lips still locked.
I felt his hands slipped under my shirt, he broke the kiss and tugged it off, a satisfied look etched on his face. My heart was pounding hard against my ribs as I watched him lowered his head and dropped opened mouth kisses on my neck.
His hands worked their way to my back and unclamped my bra, I felt exposed and felt the evidence of his raging arousal puking my butt.
"Fuck!" The glint in his eyes made me so uncomfortable but he was too busy squeezing and fondling my breasts to notice.
He suddenly got up and placed me on the couch," Chris..." I called silently when I saw him pulled down his pants.
He... what is he doing!
My eyes widened and I scrambled up.
"Lay down babe, you going to feel good real soon." He grinned, his smile didn't look as attractive as it used to.
It looked creepy, I felt goosebumps. My head suddenly felt light when he pulled down his trousers and his raging dick sprang free.
"Chris..."
"Relax babe, I promise you will enjoy yourself soon"
He pulled tugged down my skirt and pulled my legs apart, his eyes glinting as he glimpsed at my womanhood.
My mouth felt dry and throat patched, I didn't know if I was ready for that. I was scared ofgetting Chris angry if I told him to stop at this point.
I closed my eyes and braced myself, but no amount of bracing could prepareme for the pain that shot through my core when he pressed his hard tip against my entrance.
"Chris!" I cried out.
"Relax... mmm... you will feel good..."
"I don't want to!" I tried to pull away but I couldn't, Chris held my waist down and pushed in regardless of my cries.
"Please... stop, I can't. I don't want to"
My breath bagan to pick up, I was hyperventilating and could only faintly hear Chris calling my name.
"Please... please... take it out....please.."
"Wait a moment... fucking keep quiet!"
He didn't seem to care that I had slipped into a panic attack.
"Just... please"
"Damnit! Listen to me Amy, I have stopped"
The pain finally reduced when he pulled out, I scrambled up and hugged my knees to my chest, rocking myself to calm down.
After about ten minutes, I was able to calm down. I wiped my tears and pulled my shirt to cover myself.
Chris had slipped back his trousers on amidst my panic attack. He looked at me angrily.
"You are so fucking immature. I barely put the tip and you are crying."
What?