Chapter Sixty-3

"Nothing." "I just...," he starts, "You are my everything." My mouth opens, my heart squeezing at his words. His eyes begin to gloss over, tears brimming his eyes. My heart begins to squeeze in a painful way. I scramble over, holding his face gently. "Hey, hey...We're okay. We're fine. I love you." The tears fall down and spill onto his cheeks. The image of him crying stains my mind permanently along with the pain I feel, like a punch to the heart. He closes his eyes, his eyelashes wet. "I can't lose you." "You're not," I reply immediately. I lean in and pull him into my arms, holding him as hard as I can. "You won't. You never will lose me." He's silent but his body shakes softly. I squeeze him tighter. "I can't lose you." His voice becomes deeper and more panicked. "I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I won't." Lee begins to still, his body like stone in my arms. His voice shifts, almost sounding demonic. "I can't lose you. I can't lose you." I pull apart, finding my breath shake a bit. Why do I feel scared? My heartbeat jumps in circles again and again. "Lee?" A gasp escapes my lips. His eyes are void of light, as if they are frozen in pace. His pupils are large, his voice sounding like a recording going wrong. "I can't. I can't. I can't lose you. I can't." Suddenly, a burst of dark liquid spills through his shirt. It's dark purple or...red? I press my hand to it and when I pull it back, my hand covered in bright red blood. Blood. My hand shakes and my eyes widen. I look at Lee, who is incoherently mumbling. Blood begins to pool out of his mouth, dribbling down his chin. Lee's lips turn upward, a chilling smile haunting his face. "I can't lose you. I can't lose you." When I reach for him again, there is a gun in my hand. I scream. I try to drop it but it stays in my hand, my fingers enclosed around the handle permanently. Almost as if my hand is not my own, it cranks up until it presses the gun to his forehead. I begin to sob, my throat clogged with pain. "Please, no. No. No. I can't control it." "I can't lose you," Lee continues to chant, blood covering his teeth and making a mess. He reaches for my hand, covering mine with his. He puts his finger on top of my finger, both on the trigger. "STOP IT," I yell. "Stop it, please. I don't want this. Why are you doing this?" Lee's face begins to blur like a glitch gone wrong. "I can't. I c-ca—" A flicker later, his face morphs into the scarred face I hate. Victor emerges, a smug smile on his face. "Pull the trigger, Ivory. Do it," his disgusting voice says. "Kill me." I feel my finger moving, gently pressing on the trigger. The face changes again, back to Lee, his eyes full of tears and blood dripping from his lips. He looks devastated, closing his eyes. "Kill me. Kill me. I can't lose you. I can't. I can't," he says, his voice cracking. He shouts, "Kill me!" The shift happens again, the face transforming. A scar digs itself onto his face. Blue, electric eyes. Two voices. One body. The voices fuse into one, chilling my spine when I hear it. "Kill me, Ivory. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me." His finger presses over mine, the trigger firing the gun. I scream, my throat in pain. The noise is overbearing and makes me jump back. The face changes back to Lee's as he smiles one last time, his body slumping and falling. "I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I can't lose you. I can't lose y—" My eyes shoot open, my heartbeat erratic and pulsing through my ears and body. The dryness of my mouth clings to my throat still. Slowly, my eyes try to focus and I am staring at the face of Victor. My body begins to thrash, kicking myself out of his strong grip. There's blood on his face, cuts on his lip and chin. I can't understand what happened or what is going on. My arms are free and I begin to claw at him. I realize we're on the ground and he is trapping me in a grip. "No!" I yell, my hands fumbling to hurt him in any way. I can't hear myself, which I find weird. It's like my ears are shut down. Any movement makes me dizzier, my vision foggy. I can't let Victor win. "Ivory." "Get off me," I say, but nothing comes out. My throat and tongue are weights, so dry I cannot make a sound. I push him further but his grip on me only tightens. Suddenly, I feel my bones tire. Everything hurts. My punches become weaker, hitting the air and falling to my sides. My eyes droop, feeling heavier and heavier. I see blood on my hands. What is happening? "Ivory! Ivory!" Victor begins to shake me. His voice cracks. "Please, please. I can't lose you. I can't lose you." I feel myself slipping into a dark space. Closing my eyes and letting myself go feels comforting. There's no need to keep myself up anymore. I want to dream again. I want to dream of a midnight picnic by the lake and of strawberries and kisses. I want to go. "Ivory," the voice begs. "Please wake up. I can't lose you." The voice sounds like Lee's. I feel my heartbeat slow. I let myself go.