Chapter 8

Shiloh couldn’t get last night off her mind no matter what she did.

That hug. It had done things to her she still hadn’t recovered from, and almost none of them were physical. Okay, some of them were. She could not deny how fluttery he could get her with just a simple touch—and that hug had not been simple.

The hug had been the pinnacle of a revelation.

There was a very complex set of dynamics going on here and she had only scratched the surface. She craved more conversation, more depth, more of Kellan uncovered.

Where had that come from? More to the point, what was she going to do with it?

The answer had come to her between fitful bouts of sleep—obviously she’d been going about this fake engagement wrong. The key wasn’t to back off. It was to engage, in every sense of the word.

She had the perfect man under her roof to help her practice how to hang on to a relationship. And what had she been doing? The opposite. As in, not even trying. No, they weren’t dating. It was better than that. They were living together, planning a wedding (fake, but still) and she liked spending time with him.

None of this was real. What better scenario could there be for someone like her who obviously needed a practice run before attempting the real thing? What more could she ask for?

A fake fiancé who wasn’t currently acting like a wall of ice had formed between them for starters.

This morning, Kellan had silently lumbered after her to the empty space that would be a daycare soon after she poured enough of her soul into it. But he didn’t talk a whole lot as they sweated through some menial tasks and she had this heightened awareness that there was an underlying reason why. It had everything to do with what he’d confessed at midnight over her father’s clock.

The man was hurting. Her heart cried for him. She wanted to hold him a whole lot more as she coaxed him into opening up.

She and Kellan had more in common than she’d have thought, namely that they both had a sentimental streak. Plus, there was this undeniable chemistry that had sprung up during the Sergio incident and never faded. It wasn’t one-sided. At least she didn’t think so, though Kellan was certainly doing his part to pretend otherwise.

It had gotten worse since last night.

Oh, he would glance in her direction if she called his name. But he kept his distance, which didn’t allow for a lot of opportunity to accidently brush fingers or explore the fascinating topography of his back during an impromptu embrace. The ice between them had to go. As soon as she figured out what line she’d crossed last night that had changed everything between them.

“Can you help me for a sec?” she called out to him.

He wandered over without a word to where she was hanging an oversized corkboard on the wall behind the security desk, which she really didn’t need help with but he didn’t have to know that. “Is this straight?”

Kellan swept a critical eye over the rectangle. “Yeah.”

Stifling a groan, she tried again to get back to that place they’d fallen into where the conversation flowed a lot more effortlessly. Granted, she’d probably added to the confusion by shutting down his honeymoon destination question. And lying about liking the beach, only to jump right into a seashell confessional a few hours later.

No wonder the man was treating her like an escaped circus clown. But she was trying to make up for her missteps right this very minute. This was her being authentic. Didn’t he get that? “Great. Can you check out the directions to see how it’s supposed to be attached to the wall?”

His expression went a little sideways. “Shouldn’t you have read those first? Before you positioned it?”

“This is my first rodeo.” She plastered a grin across her face in hopes of melting a bit of the frost that had grown up all over everything since last night. “How did you get your gym in such good shape? Have you owned one before?”

He shrugged. “I spent a lot of time in gyms. It was the one place I could count on being the same from city to city. So it was easy. The hard part was figuring out how to get people in the door and then keep them once they got there.”

Story of her life. She never had any trouble attracting the attention of a man but once they crossed the threshold, they never stuck around. This time, she had all the motivation in the world to ensure it went differently.

“Well, I’m glad I have you to help me with opening my own business,” she told him brightly and tilted her head toward the cork board. “Will you hold this while I read the directions?”

“Can’t you just set it against the wall?”

Trust him to point out the obvious. Of course, his way made the most sense and did absolutely nothing to further her plan—namely to get him in closer proximity. Hopefully her smile looked genuine and not like she could grind off the head of a nail with her back teeth.

“I was thinking,” she said casually as she did what he’d suggested and angled the cork board against the wall. “We should go to dinner at my mom’s to announce our engagement.”

“You didn’t already tell her it wasn’t real?”

The dubious expression on his face set her back a beat, and she realized he had no idea that her relationship with her mother was…strained. It had never been great and then got worse.

After her dad had gotten sick and they’d learned the prognosis would not be the one they’d hoped for, Shiloh had prayed the horrible tragedy going on in their lives would finally bring her together with her mom. That had not happened.

Instead, her mother had withdrawn from everyone, but it didn’t seem to bother Ivan like it did Shiloh.

“I…didn’t, no,” she admitted. “I figured the fewer people who knew the truth, the better.”

“But you told Carolina and Eliza.” Apparently he’d drank a lot of Point-Out-the-Glaring-Errors-in-Her-Logic juice this morning.

“Because they live here. They’ll know we weren’t dating and would ask a lot of nosy questions at the exact wrong time, like when someone who might tattle to Sergio was within earshot. I can easily tell my mom we reconnected when I moved to Vivo, and she’ll buy it.”

Kellan still didn’t look convinced. “Won’t she expect to help you plan for the wedding?”

Only in her dreams. Something twisted in Shiloh’s stomach that did not feel like the nice fluttery vibe of last night. “Planning for the wedding might be a good idea, actually. It’ll add a great layer of reality to this whole scheme, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. Seems like a lot of work for something that is never going to happen.”

Well, of course, she thought sourly. A lot of work for no gain seemed to be her exact pattern in a relationship. Why not continue that here? And get no wedding besides. Perfect.

“Why don’t we skip the part where I mentioned my mom and talk about some other ways to perpetuate the ruse. Maybe we should go on a date.”

Kellan crossed his arms, flexing his big biceps in a way that she’d normally appreciate except it meant that he couldn’t as easily pull her into a hug. And upped the frost quotient by double. “You want me to take you to dinner?”

“Sure,” she said gaily, and that’s when it occurred to her that she was botching the practice run just as badly as she did the real thing. Probably because she was still Shiloh Anderson, Clinger Extraordinaire. Stand back, world. She could sink her claws into a fake fiancé just as proficiently as a real boyfriend. “I mean, strictly for show. Not as a date.”

But it could turn into one if she played her cards right. That was the trick. How did she angle to spend time with Kellan, wear his guard down long enough for her peel back a few more layers, while simultaneously maintaining the fake engagement scheme to stave off the gossip, keep him around as a means of protection, and hang on to her sanity at the same time?

It was frankly exhausting. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could just live her life, be herself and have a man fall madly in love with her because she was amazing? In this fantasy, she never had to second-guess whether she should or shouldn’t say something for fear of coming across too strong. She got hugs from a man on a regular basis and midnight confessionals that happened because he wanted to share.

Obviously that was too much to ask.

“Not as a date.” Kellan nodded as if this idea worked for him and then some.

“I’ll pay,” she threw in because at this point, the whole thing had gone down in flames anyway.

“You will not pay.”

She did a double take at the fierceness in Kellan’s voice. Was that what it took to get him to come out from behind his crossed arms—stepping all over his chivalry? “I couldn’t ask you to pay. Not when it’s still part of the favor you’re doing for Ivan.”

He scrubbed a hand across his face where a faint bit of stubble shadowed his jaw. It wasn’t a look she’d have normally said she liked, but on Kellan, it was a hundred percent devastating. Or maybe she just had a heightened sense of awareness of how he’d gotten that look. He’d stayed at her house overnight and thus she knew he hadn’t taken time to shave this morning. Why, she had no idea when she’d offered him first crack at the bathroom. He could have even gone back to his house to use his own bathroom if he’d wanted to, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t be leaving her alone much over the next few days.

It was a small but very visible sign of Kellan’s strong sense of sacrifice in the name of duty. How lovely that she got the obligatory gallantry.

“Shiloh, you’re opening a new business. You need all your capital,” he explained not very patiently. “Keep your money. I’ll pay.”

“I have a small business loan,” she countered, fully aware she was pushing his buttons but kind of fascinated by the way he’d jumped right into this argument.

Fierce Kellan, she liked.

If the subject had been anything other than a date, she might have backed off, but this felt like a critical milestone in their relationship and if she figured out how to navigate this, she’d be golden on everything else. “I’m not hurting for money.”

“No one said you were.” His teeth might even be clenched. “Regardless, you’re not paying on our first date.”

Her eyebrows flew up. “Now it’s a date?”

All at once, his expression went flat as if he’d slammed a door. Or she’d slammed it for him. He shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not. When are you filing the complaint with the police?”

The abrupt subject change did not bode well. “This afternoon. Ivan was going to take me, and he had a meeting this morning.”

“I’ll take you. We can go now.”

Because he wanted this charade done with, so he didn’t have to think about her and dating in the same sentence? Was she really that much of a pain to deal with?

“Sure. It’s probably better to get it done sooner than later. So they can start the investigation.” Filing the police report didn’t mean her bodyguard could disappear. Not that he would. It was more of a note to herself. She could still salvage this practice run.

Silently, Kellan extended a hand toward the door as an indication she could precede him as they left. She grabbed her purse, and he followed her out of the soon-to-be daycare. The courtyard had gotten busier during the hour or so since they’d been inside. Vivo had an energy about it that had appealed to Shiloh enormously when she’d first visited Ivan. This whole thing with Sergio had put a pall on the experience she didn’t want to dwell on.

All of a sudden, she realized Kellan had stopped. She glanced behind her. His gaze was fixed on a dark-haired woman waltzing toward him with a sly smile on her face.

“Kellan Walker. So, you aren’t a ghost after all,” she said, her red painted lips forming a practiced pout.

“Hey, Theresa.” His voice had turned all weird, not to mention his frame vibrated with tension.

Old girlfriend. Obviously. And not one he was overly happy to see, judging by the way his eyes had gone hard. Not an amicable breakup then, and likely not on Kellan’s part. Just a guess. But she didn’t think she was wrong, and given how he’d treated Shiloh like a queen thus far, Theresa must be pretty dumb to have wasted her opportunity with him. Too bad for Theresa.

Kellan belonged to Shiloh now.

Shiloh wasted no time sliding an arm around Kellan’s waist and snuggling right in to announce that the clearest way possible.

Mercy did that man’s muscles feel good under her palm. It put a sincere smile on her face as she stuck out her other hand. “I’m Shiloh. Kellan’s fiancée.”

Tit for tat. He’d done the same for her in front of Sergio. The least she could do was rescue him in return. No one had to know that she’d benefited from the gesture too.

“Oh.” Theresa’s expression turned glacial as she swept Shiloh with an evaluating once-over that conveyed a fair amount of contempt. “I haven’t heard anything about you.”

“Likewise,” Shiloh returned cheerfully, unperturbed by the malevolent vibes spiking in her direction. Since Kellan’s arm had slipped around her waist in kind and his fingers were trailing along her waist in the most delicious pattern, she wasn’t too worried about treading lightly. He was obviously on board with her reciprocal playacting, and how. “We’re usually too busy doing other things to talk about ancient history.”

Theresa looked like she’d swallowed a bug which shouldn’t have widened Shiloh’s smile. She should also worry more about this tiny petty streak Theresa had uncovered.

“This is legit?” Theresa aimed her question at Kellan, her eyes wide with disbelief. “You’re really engaged?”

“Totally legit.” Kellan didn’t even blink. “And I’m one-thousand percent happier with Shiloh than I have ever been in my life.”

Delivered with such sincerity that even Shiloh almost did a double take. But she was too busy trying to tamp back the explosion of warmth in her chest. If only he’d really meant that. He hadn’t. This was all a big ruse. Faker than fake. Falser than a three-dollar bill. Better that she remember that, repeat a million more times before she starting buying into the things he made her feel.

But dang. Wasn’t that everything she’d ever wanted?

“I don’t believe this,” Theresa said with a little frown. “We talked just a few days ago. I would have thought you’d mention something this big.”

The breakup was that recent? Had this fake engagement cost him his girlfriend? Surely Ivan wouldn’t have suggested it if he’d known Kellan was dating someone. She tried not to let an instant wad of guilt grow out of proportion until she got his side of the story.

“Things happened pretty fast,” Kellan said with a one-shoulder shrug that shouldn’t have thrilled Shiloh so much, but hey. She was wallowing in her petty streak right now and Non-Committal Kellan was her favorite when it was directed at someone else. “Shiloh is Ivan’s sister. I’ve known her for years.”

“Funny how this is all coming out,” Theresa said, her gaze hard and glittery. “I told you I was sorry on the phone. I’m not seeing Gary anymore. You’re just doing this to punish me.”

Okay, now the pieces were starting to fall into place and Shiloh did not like the picture that they formed. “Sorry, Theresa, but you really don’t factor into my relationship with Kellan,” Shiloh told her without an ounce of guile. “We’re in love and happy.”

To prove it, she pulled him down for a perfunctory kiss that was supposed to land on his cheek. But he turned his head at the last second and their lips met in what went down as the best kiss in the whole of Shiloh’s life.