31

Everything is on the line now. I’ve just been so distracted by my own emotions that I didn’t realize I’m on the verge of losing everything I worked so hard for.

Mel’s words come back to me.Some things matter more in life than winning.

I’ve wanted her for so long that having her back in my grasp, and losing her again, has been the catalyst for my downfall.

I need damage control, and I need it now.

Melissa

New York will never be home. But I can make a home wherever Jodie is, so this little brick house is tolerable.

More than that—it’s a blessing as I pause to listen and hear Jodie singing to herself in the living room. Probably doing something she shouldn’t be, since she’s on bed rest. She’s never been good at resting.

“I’m going to head out to the store and start working on that diet list they gave you, okay?” I pop my head into the room and catch her red-handed. She’s standing on a little step-stool, trying to reach the top of a bookshelf.

Jodie rolls her eyes. “Fine. But can you pick up some Swiss cake rolls, please?”

Her grin is tired and teasing. Jodie doesn’t actually eat all that bad, but at the medical center her sodium levels were high.

I grab a reusable bag out of the foyer, take a deep breath and tell myselfshe’ll be fine,and head out to her little beat-up car.

It feels weird to be out of the city. I never pictured myself as a city girl, but as I drive the ten minutes to the grocery, I find that I’m missing it. The hubbub. The stream of passersby, the breweries at street level, the lights in the evening.

The IGA is local and tiny. I can see why Jodie ended up with a sodium-rich diet when I catch sight of the meat department, which is 50 percent processed. Lingering for a long time in the produce section, I jump when a hand lightly taps my shoulder.

“Melissa? Mel Atkinson?”

“Sheryl!”

My old friend from high school—more of an acquaintance, really—is a little heavier than she used to be but looks good. Her hair is long, blond, and full, as is her figure. She has a toddler propped on her hip.

“It’s sogood to see you! I wasn’t expecting to run into you in Dawson, though. Are you visiting your aunt?”

As we catch up over a mound of cucumbers, Sheryl explains that she’s seen Jodie around town and they chat now and then. It would’ve been nice to know that Sheryl and her family moved here, but my aunt has had a lot on her mind, so I can’t blame her. The toddler makes little gurgling happy sounds as he reaches for every fruit and veggie in sight, placing a sloppy kiss on Sheryl’s cheek.

“I justsaw your engagement notice in the paper, by the way. Jason Shane, huh? You two really lasted. You’re the epitome of ‘high school sweethearts.’”

She means well, but the sentiment sours. I fold in on myself, arms crossed.

Of course, people I know saw the announcement. It was in quite a few major East Coast papers.

“Do you think you two will move out this way to be closer to Jodie? Or are you planning on staying in the city?”

“Um, actually, we just recently broke things off.”

Sheryl’s blue eyes go wide. She looks genuinely stunned, and I feel bad to have to break the news. She just seems so invested in…us, I guess.

“Oh, gosh. I’m sorry, Mel. I have to say, I’m surprised. You two always gave me soulmate vibes.”

A little snort slips out at the cheesy thought. “Soulmates? Really?”

Sheryl shrugs, an embarrassed smile on her face. “I don’t know. Dating at that age is so…juvenile. Remember Ryan Anderson? I dated him for, like, two months in sophomore year and he sent pictures to all of his friends of me changing in my room. Ugh.”

The memory flashes through my mind and I wince at her misfortune. But she’s right. At that age, figuring everything out can do more harm than good in the process.

“You two were such good friends and it seemed so natural that you’d fall in love. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but for a while, I used to compare my relationships to you guys. You know. Trying to figure out if someone was a good fit, if it was real.”

Real.

The word hits home, mostly because Jason and I were anything but real.

“Well, that’s…I mean…” I gesture awkwardly at the toddler, half-asleep on his mom’s shoulder now. “It looks like everything worked out?”

Sheryl smiles at the hopeful lilt to the question.

“It did. Took me a while, but I ended up meeting Tommy at church, and I don’t know. We just clicked.” She gives a casual shrug, the effortlessness of someone utterly in love. “He’s my best friend. I can’t imagine life without him.”

A shadow must fall over my face, because Sheryl suddenly looks worried and apologetic. She reaches out but doesn’t touch my crossed arms.

“Oh, Mel. I’m sorry. I feel like I keep saying the wrong things. Listen, if it didn’t work, it didn’t work, right? I’m sure you made the right choice for you. Not all relationships can last forever.”

I zone out as we go through the motions of promising to keep in touch and finally saying goodbye.

Her words keep echoing in my head.Not all relationships can last forever.

Maybe that’s why this is hitting me so hard. I think a part of me always assumed that Jason would be there, no matter what, right up to the end. Even those years without him…it felt like I was just…waiting.

And as rough as that first day run-in with him was, maybe a part of me was also relieved to have him back. Even if he is a changed man.