Chapter 129 HIS LIGHT.
ACE'S POINT OF VIEW.
I smiled against her hair and pulled away slowly so I could continue with what I was saying. I knew she wouldn’t turn me away; she wasn’t like Micheala….
I remembered the girl I thought I loved back in middle school, and her reaction when I told her about it. She proceeded to vomit on my shoes and tell the rest of our classmates that I was a damaged boy.
Valerian pulled me out of that school the moment he found out about it, not even considering the principal’s offer to have the kids who bullied me expelled. I still remember what my mother looked like. Although the memory was jarring, I could picture her face as clearly as eight-year-old me would remember. Her hair always looked as dark as the night sky, and would be oiled with something that had jasmine in it.
She always had on really heavy, cakey makeup. No matter the time of day, her face would be contorted with different colours to conceal how hideous she looked underneath. I remembered how her laugh sounds, the way she clutches her chest whenever she releases a loud bellow of a laugh.
I remembered her friends, Claire, and Jane; the two other whores who didn’t mind selling their children as long as they got some drugs to free them of the horror they lived in.
Hate swelled in my chest at the thought of that darned place. If I desperately wished I could do something, it would be to burn that shit hole to the ground, and stand there until it turned to ashes. As long as no child has to live the hell I had to suffer, I would do it, and without regret.
“I didn’t understand at first. I thought she was joking.” I said with a laugh.” Turns out she wasn’t.” I exhaled, the air leaving me like I’d been holding it for years, releasing the long burden I’d carried in that time as well. “I ran that night, you know, completely barefoot, I didn’t even have a jacket, and it was extremely cold that night. Just ran until my legs gave out, and I couldn’t see the bright lights of the brothel, or hear the music coming from it.”
I could still feel the cold on my skin, as well as the heat on my insides. The sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my ears, as I tasted my own heart in the back of my throat. The fear that if I stopped running had gripped me so tightly that I barely registered the blood running down the back of my neck. All I could think about was the terror that would ensue if she’d find me.
“I thought I was gonna die in that alley, shivering in the cold, and battling with the rats, squriells, and racoons for whatever scraps I’d find in the garbage can of the restaurant beside the alley,” I said quietly, a ghost of a smile on my lips as I thought back to the one good thing about that phase of my life. The night I finally caught a glimpse of freedom in the blue eyes of the man who stood over me with his hands in the pockets of his Gucci suit. “But then he found me.”
“Valerian,” she whispered.
I nodded. “He didn’t ask questions, didn’t even ask for a name. All he did was give me his jacket, yell at the owner of the restaurant for watching me negligently. I remember how warm his jacket made me feel. Hell, I slept soundly for the first time in days since I ran away.” I laughed again at the memory of the man bowing so low, it looked like he wanted to kiss my dad’s shoes. ”He just told me to get in the car, and for some reason…..I trusted him, even though I didn’t even know who he was at the time. I didn’t realise until later that he’d saved me from more than just that night, because the owner of the brothel had apparently been searching for me. Apparently, he thought I would be a perfect addition to his whorehouse.” I could feel my rage brimming on my skin again at the thought of the short man with a long scar on his face.
As a child, I’d been scared of him. It’d felt like he would kill me one day, especially after I’d heard him beating up one of his whores for losing one dollar in her fifty-dollar bill given to her by a customer.
Silence stretched between us, and I stared at her hair instead of looking into her eyes. I wasn’t as confident that she would not be like Micheala any longer. After all, I’d barely told Micheala the full story, and she puked all over me. If she reacted that way, I could only imagine how Amara would react.”
For a long moment, all I could hear was her breathing and the hum of the fridge.
“He taught me how to fight. That was the second thing he had me do, after placing me in therapy.” I went on. “How to win, how to survive in any scenario. And I thought that was enough. That if I built enough walls, no one would ever see what she did to me, that I could keep myself guarded enough to keep everyone away.”
My voice dropped as my eyes finally looked into her perfect hazel ones. I caressed her cheeks, as a sad smile pulled at my lips. My heart felt like it would burst with the emotion coursing throughout my being. I felt like I would explode and engulf the room with all I felt for her. “But then you showed up.”
Her eyes flickered, soft and shining with a gleam of tears. I kissed the small ones that escaped from the corner of her eyes softly.
“You came into my life like chaos in a pretty dress…..Literally,” I said with a laugh, relishing the sound of her laughing along with me. The red dress she’d worn that night at the bar, which had blue ribbons, looked like something a world-class designer would create….and they were the colours that traumatised me. “And suddenly, every wall I’d built didn’t matter. I couldn’t escape you, no matter how much or how hard I tried.” The taste of her red painted lips that night still hadn’t faded away. I hated the red lipstick because of my mother, but seeing it on Amara… it felt like I’d been struck by lightning.
I laughed under my breath, the feel of it bitter and fond at the same time. “You made me remember what it’s like to be human again. What it feels like to want, to need someone so much, that the thought of being without the person feels like a punishment I wouldn't be able to bear.” I signed, as my own eyes filled with tears, I didn’t bother restraining.
“When you left Australia that Friday night, when I didn’t see you at our usual spot, it felt like my world had crumbled, like the ground was pulled from under my feet. I honestly thought I would go crazy, Amara… until I saw you at Ravenscroft High again, and for the first time since then, I finally took in a breath of fresh air. I felt like someone who'd been in the desert, and finally had a gulp of water.
She reached for me then, her hand trembling slightly as it touched my face. “Oh, Ace,” she whispered. “I feel the same way about you.”
That broke something open in me.
“Amara…,” I murmured, my voice cracking, as my tears rolled down my cheeks.
For years, I’d sworn I’d never tell anyone that story. I’d rather die than look or feel that weak again. But standing there, with her eyes full of understanding instead of pity, I didn’t feel weak. I just felt… tired.
And safe.
God, that was new.
She pulled me closer, her hands came up to my chest, and I realised she could feel my heart racing; the pound of it felt fast, violent, and alive.
“You didn’t deserve any of that….no one deserves that kind of life,” she said.
“Maybe not,” I admitted, voice rough, “but it made me the man who could stand here now and not run or hide from you.”
Her eyes glistened. “You don’t have to run anymore, Ace.”
The way she said it — like it was the simplest truth in the world —and it nearly undid me.
“Don’t say things you can’t promise,” I warned, even though I didn’t mean it.
“I’m not promising forever,” she whispered. “I’m promising now. And right now, you’re safe.”
Safe.
A word I’d never believed in.
But with her, it didn’t sound like a lie.
My control snapped instantly, and I kissed her.
Hard. Desperate. Like every piece of me had been waiting for this moment to remember what truly living felt like.
She kissed back with the same fire — but her flames were soft and fierce all at once. It wasn’t lust this time. It wasn’t hunger. It was survival. It was home.
When I finally pulled back, I could barely breathe.
“You’re it, Amara,” I whispered, my voice shaking, my tears rolling down my cheeks with reckless abandon, but I didn’t care. All I could see was her. “You’re my peace. My storm. My everything, I swore I’d never want again.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Ace—”
“I love you,” I said.
The words came out quieter than I expected, but they echoed louder than anything I’d ever said.
She froze, her breath stilling as she stared at me with utter disbelief.
“I love you,” I said again, firmer now. “And I don’t care what it makes me.”
Her tears spilt over, and she smiled through them. “It makes you human,” she said.
That nearly finished me.
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding for what felt like the tenth time tonight, and I let my forehead drop against hers as I shuddered. “Say it back,” I whispered.
“I love you too, you idiot,” she breathed, laughing through the tears.
I smiled — a real one this time. Not the kind I used to wear like armour. The kind that hurt because it meant something.
I pulled her in, her body fitting perfectly against mine, and for once, the silence didn’t feel empty. It felt earned.
Outside, thunder rolled faintly in the distance, the sound low, distant, promising.
I could feel a storm was coming.
But for now, her heartbeat was steady against my chest, her breath warm on my skin, and for the first time in years, I wasn’t afraid.
That night, as I peeled the clothes off her skin, I made sure to show her exactly how much I loved her.