Chapter 30

Deacon pointed to the treed area up ahead, “just pull in there.” His heart was beating too fast, the back of his neck felt hot, and his animal was just as much a mess as he was. Everything hit him all at once. He had a mate and she accepted him the way he was. No one did that, not even he did that. Deacon realized he’d be an idiot to think for a moment more that he could be beside her and not claim her. She wanted to find his family if any remained. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to find out, but if he did, having her beside him? Then he could take any outcome.

With a concerned look on her face, she pulled over under the tree and put the van in park.

“We have to talk.” He opened the door and couldn’t get out of the vehicle fast enough. His boot got caught on the door frame and he came close to landing on his face. Stumbling clear of the van, he went and stood under the tree.

Staring at the dead grass in front of his feet, he tried to single out one thought of too many in his head. What did he know about leading a clan? Sure, he could lead a team of armed men into serious situations or follow, it didn’t matter, he was trained for either—but a clan? A clan meant women and children—how did you do that?

He shook his head, needing to back that thought up, women and children—hell, he could end up being the last of his kind. That was a sobering thought. When did he even start to care about that?

He spun around to see Gia had turned off the van and was coming around the front of it. In her hands were their run packs and phones. He’d forgotten he told her to always, always keep them within reach.

It felt like sweat was pouring off his brow now. It stung his eyes. The world felt like it was closing in on him, which was completely stupid, he was standing outside.

“Deacon?”

Jerking his head up, he looked at her.

“Are you all right?” She put her hand on her chest, “my fox is going crazy right now.” She glanced around them, “did you see something?”

Great job. You freaked her out by acting like a moron. Shaking his head, he wiped his now damp hair back from his face. “No.” He raised his hand toward her, “I’m just,” he dropped it again, “having a,” he shook his head again, not even knowing what he was doing, “moment,” he spat out, annoyed with himself.

“Well, as moments go, I’m an expert on them.” She gave him a soft look, “you said we have to talk.”

He gave her a blank look. He had said that. “I don’t,” he sucked in a breath and blew it out, trying to settle his breathing, “I don’t know the first thing about leading a clan.” His heart continued to pound in his chest as he watched her sling the two packs over her shoulder and tuck the phones into the pocket of her jacket. She came toward him, her gaze searching his face. He felt light-headed, was it because his heart was going crazy, or had he forgotten to eat?

When she was close enough, she placed one hand on the center of his chest. “It’s a good thing you have me then. I know a few things about the order of things inside a clan,” she rubbed her hand against his chest and his animal stilled, “I know the inner workings of being an Alpha too.” She smirked up at him, “and how not to do some things.” Pulling his shirt out of his pants, she stretched it up and wiped his face and forehead gently. When she lowered it, her expression was serious, but understanding. “Still this little,” she glanced around, “moment isn’t a bad thing, Deacon.”

He was having trouble focusing on her words, her voice was soothing, and touch calmed him, but her scent filled his every pore, and his mind became even harder to collect his thoughts. His animal was settled now, Deacon could have happily stood there all day, just like this. It felt like his heart was beating normally now too.

He frowned when he realized she was watching him more carefully. “It’s not?” Somehow his brain had rewound what she’d said so he could speak.

“No,” she gave her head a little shake, “it’s not. It’s a big responsibility and the fact that it’s affecting you like this means you’re not taking it lightly and that’s a good thing.”

Deacon would just have to take her word for it. Sucking in a breath, he placed his hand over hers where it now rested under his shirt. “I don’t know the first thing about being a mate, or part of a family—or clan. What if I’m not good at it?”

Gia held his look, no judgment in her eyes. “There are no rules or guidelines to being a family, Deacon, that’s something you figure out as you go.” The heat of her palm against his chest helped him to focus and keep his thoughts under control. “As for the clan rules, there are some that are universal for all clans, the rest are established accordingly.” She gave him a smile, one that made him feel like he could do anything. “And you’ll have me to help keep you in line there.”

He looked down at her, his heart felt like it was going to swell right out of his chest. He liked her this close, where he could see the gold flecks in her eyes and the dusting of freckles across her nose. Someday he wanted to just look at her and memorize the pattern they made. Now was not that time, they were supposed to be heading back to work. He was supposed to be more together than he was right now too.

Putting his hand against the side of her neck, her hair weaving between his fingers, he looked down at her, “you’re going to have to keep me on task. I don’t know anything about any of this.”

“We’ll take it a bit at a time.” Her tone was soothing, “figure it out together, I’m sure it will all fall into place.”

“That sounds a lot like have a little faith.” He felt like he could draw breath again with her right here.

She smirked, “it’s a pretty good line.”

Deacon’s mouth twitched, “it’s not a line.” He cradled her face between both hands, “it’s a mantra of sorts, when shit starts going crazy, sometimes all you need is to have a little faith that you’ll get through it.”

“It seems to work.” Her eyes were filled with the light of humor.

He nodded his head slowly, “it does.” Leaning down, he brushed a soft kiss over her lips, tasting her. He didn’t think there would ever be a day he wouldn’t need to. For five years he’d done nothing but think about her right in front of him, like this. Resting his forehead against hers, he breathed in her scent, “are you sure you want a mate like me?”

“Hmm, let me think.” Her voice was breathless, “yes.”

“Okay, there’s just one condition.” He lifted his head so her could see her face completely. With stone-cold seriousness, she looked up at him. “No ax if you’re upset with me.”

Gia grinned, then she rolled her eyes, “fine, no ax.”

“Good. Because you honestly scared the hell out of me when I saw that poor decapitated bat.” He couldn’t hide his smile.

“I have a condition too.”

“Name it.” He’d dig up a mountain and relocate it if she needed him to.

“I want a family, but not until we free more of our people. I need to help with that.”

Deacon brushed the hair back from her face, “well, I have about five years of fantasies to fulfill, so we’ll see how things stand in five years?”

She blushed, “okay.” She licked her lips, “five years of fantasies?”

He nodded his head slowly, brushing the hair back from her neck, “yeah, and uh,” he leaned down and kissed where he planned to put his mark on her, “right now I feel like I should get the award for bad timing.”

“Why is that?”

When she leaned into him, his animal went crazy, she was close, and he was taking too long to claim her as theirs. “Because we have to get Konner and get across the border.” He kissed her mouth softly, “I wasted a lot of time at the cabin avoiding you.”

“I noticed.” She ran both hands up under his shirt now. “I do have my home on wheels,” she looked at the van, “right there.”

“Your home,” he said in a low tone, “is the cabin.”

Gia looked back up at him, defiance in her eyes and he thought for sure she was going to have more objections. “My home is wherever you are.” Lifting her chin, she reached up and tugged his beard, so he had no choice but to bend down closer, “now claim me as yours, Deacon.” She moved her head to the side.

“I don’t know if I can stop with just that.” He brushed his mouth over the soft skin on her neck and moved it along the path, tasting it.

“I don’t think you’ll hear complaints if you don’t stop.” She placed her hand on the back of his neck.

Deacon’s animal was still but poised, waiting. The wanting to be had gone on long enough, the need to have her as their own. His heart was pounding, adrenalin running fast through his body. The taste in his mouth was more his animal than it was his own. Running his tongue across his teeth, he felt the sharp edges, with a low growl, from deep in his chest, he bit into her soft flesh without further warning. If his animal could roar it would have right now. Holding her close, he molded her against his hard form and opened his mouth, licking across it, he hissed out a breath, even her blood tasted different.

Gia looked up at him with heavy eyes, her chest rose and fell. “I think we have a little bit of time; Konner didn’t sound ready when we spoke to him.”

Deacon leaned down and ran his tongue over her lips, “he did sound busy.” Bending his knees, he wrapped his arms around her and boosted her up on his body. She attacked his mouth as he started to walk, and it was all he could do to remember how to move his legs to take steps.

When they reached the van, he braced her against the side of it to open the door. It took two tries to find the coordination to manage it. He would never get enough of her taste. Kneeling inside the door, he went to move his other leg when both phones went off in her pocket.

Stopping, he lifted his head and watched her fumble to get one of them out of their pocket.

“Message,” she panted, “drive faster, we have a new window of opportunity coming up.” She continued to look at the phone.

Deacon blew out a breath and took the phone from her hand. “It went to every phone.”

“It’s important.” She stated in a breathless voice.

“Yeah.” He was saying every cuss word he could think of inside his head when she rubbed her hands on his chest.

“Then we go, get Konner, now.” She knelt in front of him, her hands trailing down his arms. She smiled at him slowly, “we’ll get a room together now at the safe house,” she tilted her chin to the side, “now that we’re mated.”

Grasping her hips, he moved her further away from him, “the safe house is roughly, four hours from here.”

“Four hours?”

He nodded and he stepped out of the van, “plus we still have to stop and get our lists, so five hours—possibly six.”

Gia lifted her chin, “I’m driving.” Reaching over, she closed the van door right in front of his face.

Deacon grinned as he opened the passenger door. “Should I call Konner and tell him to wear a helmet?” Getting in, he closed the door and made fast work of putting his seatbelt on.

Gia started the van and then turned and looked at him, “maybe.”