Brea stared up into the canopy overhead as she let herself live in this dream world for a moment longer. As soon as she scooted out from under Lochlan’s arm and left the bed behind, this reality would crack, never to be the same again.
Even if she somehow ended up back here at the Eldur palace, it would be after she’d betrayed them. She was supposedly some magical weapon that could be used against Regan, but underneath all of this fae mumbo-jumbo, everything in her still felt very much human.
And humans fought for those they loved.
He knew.
How had Myles known that her hallucinations were real and never told her? As they lay awake talking through most of the night, Lochlan explained how he’d told Myles Brea’s life would be in danger if she learned the truth.
Which was just more proof of what she needed to do. Myles had done all he could to keep her safe. Now it was her turn.
Turning her head to the side, she studied the man beside her, the one she’d tried so hard to hate. Blond hair lay skewed across his forehead. She’d give anything to see those icy blue eyes once more, but if he woke, he’d never let her go.
And she had to do this.
There were no more tears, not anymore. Now was a time for decision, not emotion.
Lochlan grumbled as Brea rolled his arm off her and climbed out of the bed. Padding across the room, she pulled on the leather-patched riding pants Rowena never let her wear and a long tunic-shirt she belted at the waist. After slipping into her boots and packing a few supplies in a drawstring linen bag, she gripped the door handle.
Glancing back over her shoulder one final time, she hardened her resolve and hiked the bag onto her shoulder.
One day, she hoped he’d understand.
The door creaked when she opened it, and she slipped into the hall. The sun hadn’t yet risen on Eldur, so most of the palace slept still. The sound of boots on stone echoed down the hall, and she ducked into an alcove to avoid being seen by the guard. Once he turned down another hall, she darted out and ran through the royal residence, not slowing until she was out in the main palace. A few servants prepared the main rooms for a new day. She passed the kitchens where the palace cooks had begun their morning routines.
Slipping into the front courtyard, Brea nodded to the guards on duty. They acknowledged her but didn’t speak. In these clothes with a hat on her head, they probably mistook her for a servant boy.
She wedged open a door to the palace rooms across the courtyard where the guard slept in shoebox rooms that were smaller than her bathtub.
By the time she reached her destination, she was already panting. Lifting her hand to the cracked wood, she knocked as quietly as she could.
No one came.
She knocked again, and still, he didn’t answer. Trying the door, she found the room empty, and something inside her deflated.
Only one person would help her get to Fargelsi, and he’d already left.
Turning on her heel, she headed back to the main palace, ready to slink back into her rooms, defeated. She’d barely made it out of Gelsi alive the first time. If she tried the journey on her own, she’d surely die, and what good would that do Myles?
She passed the small courtyard near her rooms where the fountain had been her constant companion and froze. Pivoting toward the fountain, she took in the man standing in front of it with his sword belt on and a bag at his feet.
“Finn?”
He turned toward her. “I’ve been waiting out here. I didn’t want to miss you.”
She choked back a sob. When she’d knocked on his door and found him gone, she thought she’d lost before she began. “How did you know?”
He stepped toward her. “I was with Loch when he received the message.” His eyes found hers. “If it was Alona, I’d go.”
That was her answer. This was the right thing. “And you what? Packed me some supplies?” She grinned.
“Don’t be a fool, Brea. Without control of your magic, you’d never make it back through the Vatlands. Have you forgotten the state we found you in last time?”
She couldn’t let herself hope. “You’re—”
“Coming with you. Yes. I’ll get you to Fargelsi.”
“I could kiss you right now.” The fear inside her receded and for the first time, she truly thought she could save Myles.
“Please don’t. I’m already betraying Loch. I won’t make it worse by kissing the woman he loves.”
“He doesn’t love me,” she scoffed, trying to ignore the other part of what he’d said. Finn was right. Lochlan would see this as a betrayal. In one night, he’d lose both her and his best friend.
“Brea.” He held her gaze. “He has been in love with you since before you knew he existed.”
It was too much information for her already-overloaded brain. Lochlan loved her now, but that love would shatter into a million pieces when he woke to find her gone.
“I cannot handle anything more than this mission.” She released a sigh as her eyes memorized every stone of her favorite place in the palace. Would she ever see them again?
Finn wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You’ll come back, Brea. We’ll make sure of it.”
She wished she had so much faith. Fishing a copper coin from the pouch at her waist, she stepped up to the fountain one final time.
When the sun rose, Lochlan would ride into Iskalt with nothing more than militia at his back.
Maybe they were both doing what they’d always been meant for. Brea was a Fargelsian princess just as much as an Eldurian one. She only had to accept that.
Pressing her lips to the coin, she let it fly toward the water, closing her eyes as it disappeared under the ripples.
“Keep him safe,” she whispered. “Keep them all safe.”
With one last sweep of her eyes, she followed Finn through the palace to the path that would take them to the stables.
Finn saddled two horses as Brea looked back at the shining palace, standing like a beacon of the goodness she’d experienced for the first time in her life. She’d hold it in her heart to keep the dark away.
She mounted Sassa, the same horse that had taken her to catch Lochlan on the way to Iskalt.
Leaning forward, she patted her neck. “Ready for another adventure?”
The twin ponies stood in their stall, watching Brea leave them behind. She’d never forget everything she’d experienced here.
“Here.” Finn held a knife and scabbard toward her. “You’re going to need this.”
She nodded and took the blade, strapping it to her leg. Shifting in the saddle, she sat up straighter. “For Myles.”
He nodded. “And Alona.”
Brea hesitated. “I will try to help her too. You know that, right?”
“Yes, Brea. I know.” He clicked his tongue, nudging the horse forward. The only stable boy awake ran after them as soon as he noticed them, but there was no stopping Brea now.
When the dawn finally appeared, the palace that had finally started to feel like home was nothing more than a structure in the distance, indistinguishable and unremarkable.
Brea knew differently. Eldur and the people she’d come to love would carry the hope for this realm, but it was time for her to leave hope behind.