"I am not a queen." Brea crashed into the throne room, holding her magic back and using her brute strength instead. Okay, she ordered a guard to use his strength and stared him down until he obeyed.
Now, said guard stood cowering near the door while Brea stomped down the long aisle to her mother's gilded throne. A throne she refused to sit on at any point in the future.
Her mother looked up from the Eldurian citizen she'd been speaking to—an older woman who set a basket of eggs at the queen's feet. It was an image straight out of a novel where some fantasy queen accepted gifts from her people as they entreated her to settle land disputes and other issues.
Somehow, it seemed almost beneath the great Queen Faolan. Brea only saw her interact with the people at her birthday party, but this was... different.
"Princess Brea of Fargelsi." Her mother's voice was a cold reminder to keep her mouth shut as she gestured to the citizens waiting along the far wall. "Please, tell me what has happened that is more important than this woman's missing child."
Brea's anger simmered and faded as she took in the haggard faces around the room. To the queen's right stood Captain Donovan, his warm gaze setting her at ease.
The doors to the throne room opened again, and Lochlan rushed in with Finn following close behind.
"I'm sorry, your Majesty." Lochlan bowed. "I could not stop her."
Queen Faolan—because she was a queen at the moment and not a mother—studied Brea, her eyes narrowed. "Captain Donovan, take the Gelsian princess to my rooms. She can await me there while I finish my service to these fine people."
How could she all at once sound like a dragon queen and a fair and noble ruler? A shiver raced down Brea's spine, and she pushed out a breath. She was better than barging into throne rooms and stomping through palaces. That wasn't the girl she wanted to be—a spoiled princess, upset when she didn't get her way. The true Brea Robinson knew what hard work felt like, how it was when she had to stand tall when the whole world was against her.
Turning on her heel, she lifted her chin and followed the captain, not sparing a glance for Lochlan or Finn who tried to follow.
"Lochlan, Finn," the queen's voice rang out behind her. "You two must stay here. The princess will survive without your yammering."
By the time they reached the queen's rooms, a deep weariness replaced the anger inside Brea. She smiled a thank you at the captain before he left her in the queen's sitting room.
Silence surrounded her, and she walked to the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city, a city she wanted to call her own. She loved the people, the shops, the life. But it wasn't hers.
Eldur wanted her for the same reason Fargelsi had, the crown. How could she be an heir to two kingdoms when she didn't want one? All she wished for was a family who cared about her and a home that felt like hers.
What had she gotten instead?
Parents who abandoned her in another world. A palace she'd never truly belong in. And people who wanted her for nothing more than the royal blood in her veins.
Just perfect.
Glancing down at her long dress, she tried to brush the dirt from the bottom of it. That's what she got for running through the city streets to confront the queen.
Her eyes flicked from her mother's pristine white couch to the dirty dress. No, she couldn't sit there no matter how tired she was.
Instead, she slid to the floor in front of the window, remembering how she'd once imagined Eldur as a cruel place full of dragons and other creatures. Other than her mother's sometimes coldness, it was more than she could have imagined. If she refused the crown, would she be sent away?
She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when the door opened, revealing the immaculate queen, her eyes sweeping the room.
"Brea?" She craned her neck to see into the other room.
"Here." Brea lifted a hand to get her mother's attention.
"What on earth are you doing on the floor?"
Brea climbed to her feet. "I didn't want to dirty your couch."
"Couch? Oh, you mean the settee? Darling, you are a princess. My people might not know the truth of which kingdom you call your own, but an Eldurian princess never sits on the floor." She lowered herself to the couch, er, settee and patted the spot beside her. "Come now. I know you think us very primitive, but do you honestly think this has never been dirtied? We have magic, Brea."
"You... Clean with your magic?"
"Heavens no." She put a hand to her chest. "But the palace maids do. Lochlan and Alona used to have quite the fondness for mud, so it was a good thing."
Brea smiled at the image of a little boy and girl running to her stiff mother caked with mud. She sat next to her mother and tapped one finger against her knee.
"So," Faolan began. "Lochlan has told you."
"That I'm... That I'm..." She couldn't say it.
"Going to be queen?"
Brea nodded. "That."
"Well, what did you think would happen? We've already told you of Alona's inability to inherit due to her lack of magic."
"What about Lochlan?"
"He is not my son. And besides, he has his own kingdom to rule once he is strong enough to deal with that wretched uncle of his." She pursed her lips. "Why does this distress you?"
Brea looked away. "I don't know how long I've been in the Fae world, but it can't have been more than six months. Until then, I thought I was a human farm girl. I'm not..." What was she going to say? She wasn't good enough? That she'd fail and let everyone down? "Don't fae live longer than humans? You will be queen for a long time."
She smiled sadly. "Brea, I have been the queen of Eldur for one hundred and forty-seven years."
Brea's mouth fell open, but she had no words.
"I was eight when my mother died, leaving me the crown. Do you think I was ready for it then? The truth is I am tired. I have seen many wars and political battles."
"Is that why you sent Loch to find me in the human realm?"
She shook her head. "I have wanted to bring you home every day since I handed you over to my greatest friends."
"Loch's parents?"
"Yes. They took you to the human realm and lost their lives for it. You need to understand something about this world, Brea. Nothing is done without a reason, a purpose. In the noble households, every child is conceived to fill a role. A royal line is only as strong as it's succession."
"So, you're saying you found someone to have a child with in hopes that child could rule one day?"
She nodded. "But that is not all. Regan of Fargelsi had begun to rise in power. Her magic was much stronger than mine—which is not supposed to be possible. Eldur is always the stronger power of the two, evened only by Fargelsians' ability to use magic without the sun. We were scared of her, to be honest."
"We?" Brea froze. "You mean you and Regan's brother, my father."
"Your father..." A smile tilted her lips. "He was a great man, a great king of Fargelsi. We could see the future unfolding. Regan's power would only grow, so we needed a weapon, someone who could use their power both night and day but hold all the strength of Eldurian blood."
Brea leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she hung her head. "Me." She was a weapon of mass destruction, only brought to life for that purpose.
"Yes." Her mother's voice was no more than a whisper now. "Brandon and I conceived a child. It was our duty to this world. Regan killed him before you were born. She knew what we'd done, but she couldn't get to me here in Eldur. It was clear to her right away Alona was not the child of our union, but you were gone, safely kept in the most nondescript place we could find in the human world."
A laugh burst free of Brea. "You could say that about Ohio." She rubbed her face before lifting her eyes to her mother's. "So, you're saying I have no choice, that I never have. I still don't know who I am or who I trust. How am I supposed to be a queen?"
Her mother reached out and took her hand. "I will teach you, dear. I'm not relinquishing the crown tomorrow. And as for who you are—you're my daughter, and I'm so very glad you are finally home."
Tears blurred Brea's vision, and she tried to wipe them away, but her mother wouldn't let go of her hand. "But I'm not Alona. You don't even know me."
"A mother does not have to know her child to love them. Alona is in my heart. She might not be of my blood, but I love her no differently from you. Not a second goes by where she is not in my thoughts, my fears. Sometimes I can't breathe when I think how far away she is, how in danger." She wiped a thumb under Brea's eye. "But I have experienced that same fear every day for eighteen years as I've been missing you. Alona never replaced you, the same as you cannot replace her. There is room for both of you in here." She placed a hand over her heart.
Brea shot to her feet as tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. "I need some space." She pulled her hand free, not watching to see if her mother's expression fell.
"Yes." The queen stood and flattened the crease out of her dress. "I expect you do. Take your time, Brea. Just remember, you are fae. You have as much responsibility to this world as I did when I made my decisions."
Rushing toward the door, Brea pulled it open and sprinted past the guards. Tears clogged in her throat, and the only sound was her footsteps echoing against the stone floors.
She reached the courtyard with the naked-man fountain and collapsed against the low stone wall circling it. Digging in the pouch at her waist, she pulled out every coin she had and started tossing them in one by one.
"I wish this was all a dream."
"I wish I could just have one more day on Myles' farm under our tree."
"I wish this stupid magic didn't threaten to boil over every time I got emotional."
"I wish I was normal."
That's what she'd wanted her entire life, wasn't it? To be normal? For the hallucinations and energy underneath her skin to just go away. And now... She was born for one specific purpose: to be a weapon against her aunt.
She wanted to kill Regan for bringing Myles into this, for taking Alona from Finn and their mothers. But could she?
If she allowed herself to become this... magical bullet or whatever it was they wanted her to be, would she ever be anything else?