Chapter 67
Alessandro.
Alessandro is mad at his mother. He has done a lot of hard thinking—jail is the place for thinking, with all that free time—and he’s come to some conclusions.
When she commissioned another man to impregnate her son’s wife without her son’s consent, his mother grossly overstepped the mark. Alessandro understands why she’s done it. Anyone could see that Gianluca wasn’t going to take the helm of the clan from Zio Pino, and she wanted to ensure that her son would take that coveted place. After all, Zio Pino himself, before he died, had put this condition for Alessandro to be his heir: that he should get a new wife and have a son.
But his mother shouldn’t have done what she’s done, at least not in that way. She should have at least discussed it with him. Then—and only if he had agreed—she should have consulted all the other parties involved. Alessandro’s wife should have protested at least a little. Alessandro would have insisted on being present during the act, and would have expected to see that she didn’t enjoy it.
But that’s not the way things have gone. So now Alessandro is mad at his mother and he’s fed up with the whole mafia business. He doesn’t want any part in it anymore.
Now that the trial has been and gone, and Alessandro has received his verdict, he knows how long he’ll be spending in jail, which makes planning a little easier.
Alessandro has signed up for one of the training courses they offer in this jail. He hopes that this plumbing course will help him find a job when he’s done his time here.
Alessandro would like to share with Rosalia his big news but he doubts he’ll be seeing her again. Now that she feels no debt of gratitude towards his mother, her visits would have to be just out of friendship towards him. He’s sure that she won’t be coming anymore. Alessandro can’t blame. He hasn’t done much to deserve her friendship, having killed her husband.
But the following week, the guard announces that there’s a visitor for him. Alessandro all but runs to the visiting room.
“I’ve signed up for a plumbing course,” he blurts out to her even before he’s sat down.
“That’s great,” she says with a big smile. “But maybe you could have said ‘hi’ first and asked me how I was.”
“Oh yes. Hi. How are you?”
“Very good, thanks. And you?”
“Great! I’ve signed up for the plumbing course. If I complete it, they will give me a certificate when I leave. Then I could get a job,” he says.
A meaningful silence hangs between them.
“So you’re leaving the clan,” she says.
“Yes.”
“You won’t be rich anymore—not as rich as you’ve been,” she points out.
“It’ll be fine. What’s the point in having all that money if you can lose it any moment?”
“You’ll lose all your friends too.”
“Those guys were colleagues, not friends. I’ve never had friends until you came along,” he says.
He’s embarrassed by his own sincerity, so he quickly adds, “I know that my mother will be mad at me if I leave the family’s ‘business’, but I don’t care. I’m mad at her for what she’s done.”
“We can find out what she thinks of your decision right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s outside, waiting for me to tell her if she can come in or not.”
“You’re still talking to her?” Alessandro asks.
“Yes. I’ve forgiven her. She seems very sorry about it.”
“How do you know?”
“After I told you that I had discovered her letter, I went to show it to her. I asked her if she recognized it. She almost fainted when she saw it. She said she was very sorry. She hadn’t expected that you would kill them. She just thought that it would be a good idea to get your wife pregnant, that nobody would be hurt, so long as you and I didn’t find out what had happened.” Rosalia looks steadily into Alessandro’s eyes. “She would like to see you. Can you allow that?”
Rosalia might have forgiven Alessandro’s mother as easily as that, but he hasn’t forgiven his mother at all. He fears that, if he sees her, he will shout at her and maybe worse. But considering there’s a sturdy glass panel between him and any visitors, he thinks that everyone will be safe.
“I’ll see her,” he agrees.
He’s going to make a special effort to keep his temper under control, especially because he wants Rosalia to think good of him. In fact, he cares a lot more about what she thinks of him than about what his mother thinks.
Alessandro hasn’t seen his mother since the day he left for Singapore and ended up in a Singapore jail. She wasn’t at the court when Zio Pino kicked the bucket, and she didn’t come for any of the other hearings.
She looks a little shorter, thinner and older. Her expression is uncertain and nervous, she’s stooping, and doesn’t look at all like the fearsome woman he remembers. Maybe this is the real her and the other one—the bully—is what she uses to hide the scared little creature that’s inside.
Rosalia fetches another chair so that the two of them can sit in front of the booth. There are two handsets so they can both have one and have a conversation with Alessandro.
“Hello, Mum. How are you?” he asks her, the way Rosalia has taught him.
His mother is a little surprised.
“Not well. I’m very sorry about what I’ve done.”
She seems sincere and Alessandro doesn’t know what to say. Can he tell her that it’s okay? No, what she’s done is not okay. But he’s not going to shout at her either. That was the old Alessandro. So he doesn’t say anything.
His mother looks up at him. Seeing no negative reaction from him, she’s encouraged to continue.
“I only did it because I wanted you to have sons. Can you forgive me?” she asks with visible effort.
In all his life, Alessandro has never heard her say words like “sorry” or “forgive me”. He’s a little shocked at seeing her do that, but that’s not enough to wipe away the pain and anger inside him.
If his mother hadn’t meddled with his personal and sex life, Rosalia would still have her husband, her children would still have their father and the other Rosalia would still be alive. Most importantly, Alessandro wouldn’t be the murderer of his only friend’s husband.
“I’m not ready to forgive you yet, but I’m trying,” he says sincerely.
Rosalia smiles at him. He senses that he’s making her proud and feels proud of himself too.
“I’ve started a plumbing course,” he tells his mum.
“Do you want to become a plumber?” she asks.
“Yes. When I leave this place, I want to get an honest job. I don’t want to be in the mafia anymore.”
“But your entire family is in the mafia.”
“Not Gianluca. And look at how well he’s done for himself.”
His mother opens her mouth to speak but then closes it again. Alessandro knows what she was about to say—that Gianluca is cleverer than him, that he did well at school and went to university.
Alessandro appreciates her keeping her mouth shut. It’s always been hurtful hearing that sort of comments, and it would be a lot worse now in front of Rosalia.
“Gianluca won’t help you after you’ve tried to kill him,” his mother continues.
“I don’t need help. I can make my own way in the world,” Alessandro says.
He’s not sure that’s true, and he’s trying to convince himself as much as his mum. Most of all, he’s saying it for Rosalia.
“You can disown me if you want, but I will still go ahead. I’m fed up with the mafia. It’s taken too much from me and from other people.” He glances at Rosalia, whose eyes are a little shiny.
He hopes he’s still making her proud, not sad.
“Do as you like, son. I won’t disown you, but I will stand by my family. Your aunt is taking the lead of the clan. She will need my support and I will stand by her.”
Alessandro feels a prick of disappointment and jealousy. His aunt is taking the place that Zio Pino had reserved for him. Of course, he couldn’t have taken the helm of the family now that he’s in jail—and he still hasn’t fulfilled either of Zio Pino’s conditions, which were killing Gianluca and securing a wife and a son. But it still hurts that nobody consulted him or even informed him of the succession, when Alessandro has spent all his life working towards one day becoming Zio Pino’s successor. In the mafia, you can’t take anything for granted. You can lose anything in the blink of an eye and in the firing of a bullet—from your wealth to your freedom to your very life.
Alessandro is happy to have taken the decision to leave.