Chapter 33

**Rosella…**

He hurt me. He's still hurting me.

I should have known. I should have prepared myself.

Tears stream down my temples, my throat tight with agonizing emotions. I can't meet his gaze. I don't think I can stand to see the evident pleasure in his eyes again. He was getting off on my pain, my tears, my suffering… he IS taking pleasure in my hurt.

It's sick, it's twisted… but despite my appalling feelings, I'm wet. Wet for him for reasons that crowd me with shame and disgust. I'm hurting and that's heightening my pleasure. His cock is making me feel so painfully full that I can't help but succumb to it.

But he has stopped moving now.

I don't know why but he has gone completely still above me.

In spite of my reluctance, I turn my head to look at his face. He meets my gaze, unabashedly but what I find in the depths of his blue eyes, shakes me to my core.

He's in pain. He's afraid. He's trying his best to mask his fear but he's failing miserably. His terror is too immense to hide under stoicism. I've seen, I've suffered through that so many times that I can tell, without any doubt, he's drowning.

“Adrian…?” His name is a question, a plea, an abomination on my lips.

His eyes flash darkly and in that moment, he appears so vulnerable… so breakable… I can see now, how I must have looked like when the clouds of oblivion used to hover over me in my dark gloomy days.

Oh no… He's losing himself... I know exactly what's going on here. The realization is just as much horrifying as it is comforting.

I'm not the only one! I'm not alone!

I start crying for a whole another reason.

“Free my hands, Adrian. Please, I — I can help you.” My voice trembles as I try to remain as still as I can. My pain forgotten, I'm laser-focused on him. Almost transfixed on his devastatingly beautiful face.

He says nothing for a long moment, staring at me through bleary eyes. Then, at once, he unties my hands and leans away. The shutters come down on his emotions, he starts drawing away. Just as he's about to slide his cock out of me, I shoot up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a crushing embrace. He doesn't hug me back but I don't let go.

Straddling his lap, I plant my knees on either side of him and start riding him. His breathing hitches when I clench around him, my wetness easing my way, though it still hurts.

I don't suppress my moans and whimpers this time, I let lust and desire take over.

His trembling hands reach for me, his eyes darkening at unbelievable speed. He grabs my hips, clutching my flesh and drives up his hips to meet my thrusts with hard thrusts. He grunts, pushing in harder, deeper, faster. I moan, my head lolls back as he buries his face in my neck; licking, kissing, sucking, biting.

My core clenches around his phallus. My breathing increases, my pleasure reaching new heights. And just when I'm sure that I'll come this way, Adrian takes me by surprise and takes our love-making to the next level.

Slamming me down on the bed, he pulls out of me. I hiss in raw pain. He doesn't seem to notice. Just flips me on my stomach and lifts me up on my hands and knees. I'm weak and tired from my two orgasms. He takes note of that and stuffs some pillows under my hips, my ass high up in the air, my head pressing down on the bed.

I don't protest when he widens my stance, exposing both of my holes for his eyes. My cheeks warm as I feel his hot breath fan across my glistening sex. But it disappears quickly, replaced by something hard that pokes my entrance from behind.

He grunts and I scream when he fills me in one thrust, pulling back then slamming back in without missing a beat. Tears erupt, pain blossoms and my core fists. I have a sensory explode as the sound of our fucking carries around me, his intoxicating smell envelopes me. Pure bliss of being fucked so hard overrides the pain and I surrender to his pistoning hips, tearing apart my pussy.

“Fuck!” He curses as our fucking becomes frantic, animalistic. I'm gasping and scrambling, my hands fist the satin sheets. I bury my face in the mattress as my third orgasm spirals out through my core. My muscles contract, my entire body trembling in the panting aftermath.

Adrian is close behind me. I lift my head then suck in a deep breath, and my eyes barely open as I whisper, sobbing. “Come for me, Adrian. Fucking come inside me!”

With a guttural growl, he gives a few clumsy thrusts then I feel his cock twitching inside my raw pussy as he releases his seed inside me. Spent and exhausted, he collapses on top of me, breathing harshly in my hair.

I can't stop crying as he tucks out the pillows from underneath me and pulls me against his chest, holding me close as we both lie down on our side. His outstretched arm my pillow, his other other hand curled around my waist like an iron band, ceasing my movements. He's still deep inside me.

As my eyes start to drop, I realize that there's nowhere else I would rather be than in his arms, in his bed… apparently fucked into oblivion as he had promised.

————

When I come back to be, I find myself airborne.

Soon I realize that Adrian is carrying me somewhere. The silky black satin sheet has been wrapped around my naked frame. I blink then stir in his arms. When I tilt my chin up to look at him, he's staring back at me.

His eyes are back to normal, electric blue charged with undercurrents of darkness that tethers just on the edge, ready to break through. My stomach tingles at the thought of what we did earlier, how I came thrice despite my pain, how he fucked me so hard and so dirty.

My arms tighten around his neck and I manage to smile shyly.

That makes him arch his brow and I chuckle to myself. I feel strangely comfortable and blissfully content in his arms. His radiating heat, his heady smell, his undeniable strength… God, I hadn't realized how much I needed someone like him until I had him.

I'm never letting him go now.

He has left me sore in all the right places, he has made me safe. He has protected me and wanted me. I can't ask for more.

A giddy feeling crawls in my heart and I kiss his naked shoulder on impulse. He turns rigid under my lips, his shoulders tensing up. I rub his back then lay still and silent in his arms as he enters a bathroom I don't recognize.

He walks us to the shower stall and drops me inside, closing the glass door behind him as he backs away. Frowning, I stand there on my wobbling legs. I thought he was going to take shower with me… maybe he isn't ready for that yet. I just shrug, ignoring my antsy at his intense silence. With a deep sigh, I turn on the faucet and let the warm water droplets soak me.

When I return back to the room, wrapped in the towel that was hanging precariously on the back of the bathroom door, I find Adrian out on the wide balcony. Seems like he has opened up all the glass sliding doors that make up the entire room, serving both as walls and doors.

My nerves flutter nervously as I quietly approach him from behind. Leaning over the brick railing, he seems to be lost in deep thoughts. His body is still, hands clasped in front of him, elbows resting on the edge.

The sky beyond him is quickly filling with dark thundering clouds, hiding the Sun and preventing his energetic waves from reaching us. For some reason, I compare Adrian's mood with the darkening weather and come to the conclusion that he is even more intensely dangerous than the brewing storm.

His silence is so thick, you can slice it with a knife.

I've started feeling extremely weary of him now.

“Adrian…Is everything okay?” I ask, tentatively. Stopping right behind him, I stare at his naked back, taut with muscles. He flexes his arms and the toned muscles of his back ripple, showing restrained strength and power.

My mouth waters at the thought of kissing, licking and touching his bare skin. I used to feel appalled by the idea of ever running my tongue down a man's body but with Adrian, it feels like doing that would be natural.

Unable to control myself any longer, I move closer to him as though his dark mood is luring me in, asking me to test him. I abandon my inhibitions as I reach out a single hand to touch him.

But before I can touch him, he whirls around with a furious look on his face and grabs my wrist, stopping me mid-movement. Stunned and scared, I try to draw my hand back but he holds fast.

Bringing his frighteningly expressionless face close to mine, he bares his teeth and grits out in a menacing voice. “Don't ever say my name again. You're not allowed. You'll always address me as Master. Always.”

He grinds his teeth and I become more and more scared.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you acting like this after everything… I — I gave you what you wanted—”

“You didn't give me anything. I had to take it all from you by manipulating you. If you think that this changes anything, that after I made you come and took your virginity, everything will become simple, then you're dead wrong. You're mine now… my Esclave. Keep that in mind. I can still send you back to Balthazar or worse, I can trade you off. You won't have any choice. I had told you, warned you that I was better around you in restraints but you had to push, you had to get inside my head. You unleashed my demons and allowed them to grow into a menace, a monster like this. Now, it's your responsibility to keep them tamed and under control by sacrificing yourself to me. I'll use you the way I want. I want to fuck you then you don't question me or say no to me, you kneel and offer me your tight little hole and beg me to use and abuse you. Understand? Nothing has changed. Only, I'm no longer your savior now, I'm your owner, your Master. Let's just say that, your life is mine, I can either make it or break me. That's for me to choose. You better be on your best behavior and keep me happy when I'm around… Otherwise there will be consequences and punishments. But if you still persisted on defying me, I'll simply kick you out or snuff your life out with my bare hands.”

After crushing my soul, Adrian, I mean "Master" leaves me alone on the balcony to mourn my past life. I sold my life to a monster. He'll wreck me, destroy me, probably kill me… and the only one I have to blame for all this, is me and myself.

I brought this upon myself.

God, I begged for this…

Silent tears of disaster roll down my cheeks as I slam down to my knees, hands splayed out in defeat. A heavy weight settles on my chest as slowly, I feel myself withdrawing from the world around me. I crawl up to the railing and lean my back against the cool bricks.

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I rock back and forth as comforting numbness engulfs me, darkening my universe as I shrink back to that dark corner of my mind which allows me to shed my feelings and emotions and just be there, suspended in between consciousness and oblivion.

Soon enough, the sky is covered in gloom and gray. Heavy rain pours down on me, drowning my tears; washing away the last of my feelings.

He wants me to be his sex slave, I'll be his perfect fucking toy alright. I'll be his pet. But not the one he'll be able to tame or get under his control. I ball my fists as I let go of my old self and embrace my new existence.

From this moment onwards, I refuse to ever open up again and allow myself to feel anything ever again. Any damned thing!

I forbid myself of being meek and compliant anymore. I forge to fight till the day I die. No one's coming back to save me now. Only I can save myself. And it's better to die with the knowledge that at least, I tried, I fought. I'll be in peace and have every reason to be proud of myself.

Rebellion coils around my spin, providing strength. I conjured up my will and clad it in hot smoldering iron.

Master Adrian Black… my ruthless owner, a complete mystery with a haunted past.

I had been so naive to think that he would tell me everything in just one conversation, like I did. He told me what everyone knows, what he wants everyone to know.

But I've seen the sinister clouds swirling around him like a dark storm. My master's depravity and sinfulness runs deeper than what I had reckoned.

There's no way out of this now. Either I die fighting against him or allow him to break me and mould me into his perfect esclave.

I choose neither.

I choose freedom.

I'll fly again. I don't need anyone to make me feel wanted. I'll pick up myself and trudge along my life like I used to do before I was handed over then sold.

I'll escape. I'll use his betrayal against him. I'll strengthen my facade with instincts. I'll hide my true self beneath the hard layers of regret, anger and injustice. It's time for me to take my fate in my own hands and twist it till it bends to me.

I'm not just a slave… I'm so much more than that… I've always been more than an Esclave.