Chapter 28

“LET’S just put it this way, Ma’am. Do you see that altar?” Radha even pointed where the altar was. “What if Sir Austin finally decided to sign the annulment papers? What if he falls in love again and marries someone else at that altar? Will you be able to take it?” She raised her brow. “What if one day, he grows tired of waiting for you and eventually falls out of love? What would you do?”

I buried my head on the stirring wheel. Radha’s words kept ringing in my ears along with my parents’ preaches about God, about life, and about love. I wasn’t able to talk back after Radha bombarded me with so many questions. She took me back to my office afterwards. But I only fetched my car there and decided to just go home.

“You are like a sister to me, Ma’am. You were God’s instrument to save me from my misery years ago. And I want you to be freed from your misery as well. I know that wherever your parents are, they would want you and Ma’am Yalena to be happy. For once, choose happiness over your rage. Step forward and quit looking back, Ma’am.”

“Damn it, Radha! Stop talking and get out of my head!” I wanted to bump my head on the stirring wheel out of frustration. I feel like my heart was hanging by a thread. I could not make a decision knowing that it could change my life and my plans forever.

I thought about Austin, my husband. And then I felt warm inside. I started driving. That’s when I noticed that it was raining heavily but I kept driving all the way to my condo unit. After half an hour, I finally saw the building. But I was stunned when I saw something else.

It was Austin’s car.

He had been staying in Nevada for almost a month now. I see him often but these past few weeks, he seemed determined to finally put a distance between us. I breathed sharply upon seeing him standing beside his car in the middle of the pouring rain as if he was waiting for me.

My tears started to fall when he finally noticed my car. And since the windows were not tinted, we could see each other freely. For the first time since my memories returned, my heart was overwhelmed with love.

Here was the man who kept waiting for me despite the constant pain that I keep bringing to him. He left his life in his own country and bravely went after me even if he wasn’t sure that I would take him back. For the first time, I’ve managed to truly appreciate the love Austin had for me.

Right at this very moment, it became clear to me. I’ve already won my battle against Benedict. It had been clear from the very beginning. But I wasn’t able to see that right away. Austin fell in love with me. And Benedict, despite everything he did in the past, he still failed to make Carla accept him and fall for him. Someday, he would die without being loved back, without earning Carla’s forgiveness, without being able to find warmth and peace.

Benedict will forever be unable to remember the most important things in his life. And he had lost both Alano and Austin upon discovering the crimes he committed. He will continue to suffer for as long as he lived, but Uncle Roman and my parents have already found peace with God now, just like Radha said.

Wasn’t that the sweetest revenge ever?

There was really nothing to avenge for because justice had been served a long time ago… after all. Oh, God!

I rushed out of my car, unmindful of the rain. Austin ran to me.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. I know I told you that I would stop pestering you but I couldn’t do it. I thought I could go on pretending for the rest of my life that I would be fine without you but I couldn’t. I’m not as good as you are when it came to pretending. Let’s stop fooling ourselves that we don’t matter to each other. Please…let’s just stop this, Maggy. Aren’t you tired yet?”

I must have looked like a fool for smiling and crying at the same time. Right now, I’ve found the answers to Radha’s questions. No, I wouldn’t be able to take it if Austin fell in love with another woman, if he marries another woman. If that happens, I think I’d go ballistic. He was meant for me the way I was meant for him. He was mine alone and I was his.

It took me a bunch of threats from Radha, my parents’ memories, and some old photo albums to realize all that.

My parents used to tell me that God always had a plan, reasons for allowing certain things to happen to certain people. All this time, God must have been trying to teach me something. He must have wanted me to trust in His plan and timing, but I failed to acknowledge that because I was so busy plotting ways to release my anger.

“I love you, sweetheart,” Austin continued, looking utterly exhausted.

“Say it again,” I told him before I closed my eyes. In my head, I could see my parents smiling at me. And I want to believe that it was their own way of telling me that I have nothing to worry about anymore because I’m doing okay now.

“I love you so much, Maggy.”

I opened my eyes and smiled once more as I crossed the remaining distance between us. I held Austin’s cheeks. “You are right. I’m tired. I’m so tired of hurting, of crying, and of getting angry. I am so tired of questioning God and blaming certain people for my pain. I’m so tired of making plans only to fail in the end. Right now, all I wanted is to rest and be happy by your side. I love you, too, Austin. I love you so much and I’m sorry for what you went through the past months because of me. I’m sorry for—”

“Shhh.” He took me in his arms. “Stop apologizing. I don’t want to hear you say that. You did nothing wrong. The words ‘I love you’ are more than enough and I just want to keep hearing you say that over and over again because you’ve been denying me the chance to hear and enjoy those words from you. Heck, Maggy. I thought this miracle would never happen to us anymore.”

I embraced him back. The love I tried to suppress was now pouring out. And I will not hold back this time.

“I love you, Austin,” I whispered, trying to make up for the lost times. “I love you. I love you.”

When Austin kissed me, I responded passionately. At long last, I felt… freed. For the first time after sixteen long years, I welcomed hope and faith back in my heart once more. And then I remembered the bible verses I used to read along with my parents before.

There was one verse that stood out in all those memories. It was Psalm chapter 119 verse 67: "Before, I was afflicted and I went astray, but now I keep Your word."

Thank you, Lord.

*The End*