Chapter 11

I STIRRED when I felt something soft and warm on my forehead. Slowly, I opened my eyes. I saw Austin who was currently wiping me with a towel.

There goes Benedict’s eyes once more, staring warmly at me. My heart ached for the countless time. I struggled to fight back the tears but it was a useless attempt. And then I remembered Uncle Harry. It had been a long time since I last dreamt about him.

When my parents died, I didn’t cry. It was the same when Uncle Harry died and even when I broke up with Noah. But at this particular moment, as weakness strikes me and Benedict’s look-alike was the first thing that greeted me as I opened my eyes; I feel so close to crying.

Even if I’m still feeling unwell, I forced myself to get up. I removed the towel that Austin put on my forehead. I’m not used to relying on someone when I’m sick. I’ve always been independent. I didn’t want anyone seeing my weak side.

“Just stay here,” Austin said. “I made a soup earlier. I will reheat it.” He was about to leave the room when he glanced at me one more time. “Don’t move, all right? If you need anything, tell me. Let me take care of you, Maggy. Please.”

Before I can complain, Austin disappeared. I sighed. I stood up and opened the glass door towards the small balcony. I looked up at the sky. At times like this, anyone who was connected with Benedict was the last person I would want to see. Whenever I see Austin, I can’t help but feel so ashamed because the sight of him reminds me that I haven’t been able to give justice to my parents until now.

Yet, I couldn’t deny that when I woke up and saw Austin, my heart almost leaped out of my chest. Despite the body pain, my heart seemed instantly active. I don’t know why but I’m suddenly yearning for someone to be there for me. I’m suddenly yearning for someone like Austin. I feel alive when I’m not supposed to feel this way. I bit my lower lip. Feeling like this is equivalent to betraying my parents, my twin, and Clarice.

McClennan, what the hell are you doing to me?

After a few minutes, I felt Austin’s presence on my back. He embraced me from behind. “I told you not to move. You’re really stubborn, aren’t you?”

“Just leave,” I whispered, completely aware that I sounded like I’m begging. “I can take care of myself.” I was about to take his hands off my waist when his embrace tightened. “Austin, please. Let me go.”

“I’m in love with you, Maggy. I was supposed to say those words with fireworks and roses over a candlelight dinner tonight on my yacht. Everything was settled but then this happened.” Austin sighed. “I’m sorry. All I have right now is soup. There would be no orchestra playing for us, unlike the one I prepared on the yacht. You didn’t tell me you were sick and you’ve been avoiding my calls that’s why I decided to just come to you and say it now. I don’t want to hide it anymore. I want to tell you now that I love you because I wanted to have a reason to take care of you not just today but also in the following days of our lives. That is if I’d get lucky and you’d choose to have me.”

I froze. “You don’t know what you’re saying—”

“Of course I do. Look, I know that this isn’t any woman’s ideal confession from a man.” Austin had me turn towards him. He caressed my cheeks. “I don’t have any props right now other than my heart. But I do love you, Maggy de Lara. I was confused at first because I’ve never felt like this before but I’m sure of it now. I also know that there are still many things that we need to clear between us. We’ve been dating for months now but you still remain a mystery to me. I feel like you’re hiding lots of secrets from me. But I will wait until you open up to me.” He smiled. “I won’t give up on you. And I promise not to hurt you because I can’t picture my future without you in it anymore. I love you so much that living without you would be impossible for me now.”

I swallowed hard. I’ve been waiting for this chance for so long. I should grab it eagerly. But instead of feeling better, I felt worse.

“I will wait for you, Maggy, even if you don’t tell me to wait. I will support whatever you do. So please take a chance on me.”

Will you also support me in destroying your own father? After seeing the uncertainty in Austin’s eyes, it hit me. I’ve fallen in love. Again. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. It was funny how we both love each other but that love was doomed from the very beginning. My plan backfired. I fell in my own trap. I’ve fallen in love with my enemy.

I wish you and I met in another circumstance, Austin. When Yalena and I were little girls, we were fans of fairytales, of happy endings, and of all the beautiful things in the world. But Benedict shattered our beliefs. We realized that love could ruin a person the way it ruined Benedict. But the hatred, if you use it well, could strengthen a person. Hate could be someone’s biggest motivation to succeed just like what happened to me, to Clarice, and to my sister.

If God was real, was this His way of punishing me for seeking revenge? But how could He do that when I was avenging for all the right reasons?

“I understand if you’re not yet ready to commit yourself to me. I told you I can wait—”

“It’s difficult not to like someone as fascinating as you, Austin. It’s difficult not to love your beautiful soul.”

And tonight, even just for tonight, I wanted to at least, be honest with myself. Austin deserved to know just how amazing he was. “And yes, I’m taking a chance on you.”

A faint smile curled on my lips when Austin suddenly screamed with joy. He crossed the remaining distance between us and passionately kissed me on the lips. My tears fell.

Dear heart, of all places, time, and of all people, why fall in love now? And why with him?