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♡ Mia’s pov
I lifted my shirt and turned my head to face the mirror. I brushed my palm over my flat stomach.
It was odd to think that there was once a baby in there. A baby that was a part of both Kade and me.
I blinked as I felt moisture in my eyes.
It was crazy how the thought of being pregnant had scared me so much these last few days. I was so relieved when the test came back negative.
So relieved.
But now, I wish that I still had my baby in my womb. That I hadn’t lost him or her even though it was too early to even tell what gender the fetus was.
Finding out you were pregnant and then losing the baby, was gut wrenching. Painful. The most pain I had ever
had to endure.
I felt lost. Scared. Guilty for not being more careful. Guilty for being a failure.
The door creaks open in my room and I drop the shirt quickly so it would cover my bare belly.
The doctor cleared me to go back to school any day I choose. I didn’t think I was ready for that yet. I don’t think I was ready for all the stares. I was sure everyone at school knew everything now.
“Hey,” Colby whispered, walking into the room, his eyes on my stomach. It was clear he had seen what I had been doing judging by his pity expression.
I turned around and sluggishly crossed over to my bed. I felt like a slug honestly.
“Hey,” I whispered, plopping onto my bed. It had just been a day since I learned I lost the baby. It still felt like it happened today. Just a mere hour ago.
My gaze dropped to the paper bag in his hand and I nudged my head to the bag. “What you got there?”
I hadn’t really eaten today and it was slowly approaching noon. All the food mom, dad, or Kade brought was never eaten by me. I just didn’t have the appetite to eat yet.
But now I was getting a little hungry and it didn’t help that I can smell the fresh scent of the buns in the bag. I loved buns.
“Kade messaged me saying you won’t eat anything.”
Colby lifted his hand and pointed at the bag. “You’re lucky I love you. I stood twenty minutes on a long ass line just to get these.”
I raised my brow in shock at his words. “You have Kade’s number?”
Colby rolled his eyes and crossed over to me and handed me the bag. “We exchanged it after you were discharged from the hospital. I needed to know if you were coping, you know after.” He nudges his head to my
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stomach.
I shifted in unease. I felt uncomfortable when he pointed it out.
He must’ve noticed because he winced. “Sorry. I know it’s still a sore subject.”
I hadn’t checked my phone, not since yesterday so it made sense he would check Kade instead of me.
I nodded and pried the paper bag open. The scent of the buns assaulted my nose in a very good way.
I took one out and bit into it. I hummed. So soft and warm, just what I needed. I closed my eyes as I savor the taste of it.
“He also told me you haven’t spoken to him. Not since yesterday after……
He trailed off unsure if to continue or not.
I peeled my eyes open and tore them away from Colby’s questioning look. “I haven’t spoken to anyone,” I admitted.
My voice sounded still rough from crying yesterday and would give out a few cracks in between words.
“He’s hurting too Mia,” Colby mumbles, his gaze burning the side of my face.
I swallowed and snapped my gaze to his. “Don’t you think I know that!?” I snapped with more hostility than I thought.
Colby visibly flinched, as if attacked by my words. In a way, I suppose my words did attack him.
Sighing and feeling awful for throwing my frustration on him, I rip my gaze and plastered it to my walls. “I’m sorry Colby. I’m just not….ready to talk to anyone. I still need time. To come to terms with everything. I just can’t speak to him yet.”
Every time I looked at Kade, I picture how our baby would look. Would he or she have his beautiful eyes, would they have his smile? Would they look more like him than me?
And I would tear my gaze away from his because I couldn’t handle the pain of knowing I would never know how they will look. I’d never know because even if Kade and I somehow have a baby in the later future, that baby wouldn’t be the same one who had been in my womb yesterday. 1
“Just try to not push everyone away Mia before it’s too late. ” Colby whispered and then clears his throat.
“I need to get going. Kind of skipped school to get you this and my mom’s keeping tabs on me since she found out I skipped school yesterday too. So I need to get back before one of the teachers ring her.”
I brought my eyes back to him and he scratches the back of his head. “Let’s hope I don’t get a frying pan shoved in my ass when I get home.”
I smile, not able to laugh. It just didn’t feel right to. Not yet at least.
“Okay,” I said taking another bite of the bun.
“I’ll see you later.” He said and turned around to leave. When he was out of the door, I sighed.
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Both of my parents took a day off to care for me today and Kade hadn’t gone to school too.
I was being unappreciative of their efforts, the least I could do was talk to them. But I could barely bring myself to utter a word to their face.
Maybe it was their pitying faces, or knowing that I had disappointed them in actually getting pregnant at such a
young age.
I was embarrassed to face them.
And Kade, I just couldn’t feel any more disappointed that I couldn’t carry our baby, that I let him or her down. I was scared to see the look of disappointment on his face too.
I place the paper bag on the dresser and got up, not feeling hungry anymore.
I needed to pee.
I walked out of my room, my hand weaving through my hair as I try to fix the mess it had become. I don’t think I had brushed it, not since yesterday. It was knotted badly.
Licking my crack dry lips I make a move to open the door to the bathroom. But it’s pulled open before my fingers can latch onto the knob.
I stare at his wet naked taut stomach lined with toned abs. I watch the water trail down until disappearing under the towel he had wrapped around his hips.
“Mia.” He breathed out, successfully pulling me out of my thoughts.
I awkwardly remove my gaze from his and lift my eyes to his face but keep them on his nose, not able to stare at him directly in his eyes.
“I just need to pee,” I said awkwardly. God, I was making this awkward.
It would’ve been easier if I hadn’t been living with the guy I had been pregnant for nearly twenty four hours ago.
It would’ve been easier to not see his face every minute so I wouldn’t imagine the features of the baby we could of had.
He nods, sensing that I didn’t want to talk yet.
Moving aside so I can enter the bathroom, our arms brushed and our breaths hitched loudly. I froze, wanting to reach out for him, yet not wanting to at all.
When I make a move to continue, Kade’s fingers latch onto my hand and he stops me.
I held my breath as his touch burned through me.
“Would you have told me?” He suddenly asked.
Why was he asking this now?”
“What?” I played being oblivious.
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“Would you have told me you thought you were pregnant if you didn’t….
He trailed off, obviously careful with using his words.
“If I hadn’t lost our baby?” I asked softly, swallowing harshly. I didn’t turn to see his face but knew he was looking at me.
“The way you talk, makes one think you’re blaming yourself, Mia.” He whispered.
My breath catches. I knew he would’ve seen right through me.
“Why shouldn’t I? If I hadn’t pulled myself out of Brianna’s grasp so harshly, maybe I wouldn’t have knocked into that table. Just maybe I would’ve still been pregnant with your baby.” I said shakily, feeling my chest tighten.
“Mia it wasn’t your fault-
Kade started but I shook my head and wrench my arm out of his hold. “I need to use the bathroom,” I said and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
Locking it, I slid down the door, silent sobs painfully wrenching out of my mouth. I listen to his footsteps fade after a good minute or two and lifted my knees to my chest to sob into them.
Olivia Harris is an emerging author celebrated for her captivating romantic and steamy DaisyNovel. With a talent for crafting deep emotional connections and fiery chemistry between her characters, Olivia’s stories offer readers an escape into worlds filled with passion, intrigue, and heart-stopping drama.