***Chapter Fifty-Two***
Rushing back to campus, I immediately set my sights on going to find Drew. I barely said goodbye to Keegan as the anger was setting in the closer we got. It was hard to believe that he wouldn't tell me something like this. Not after all the time we've spent together. There were so many opportunities for him to speak up and he didn't!
As soon as I got to his door my fist bangs against it not caring who heard. The furry inside desperate to get out as Drew took his time to answer the door. Once he did, the anger on his face said it all. He was just angry with me banging on the door like a mad woman but didn't know the reason why. I'm not sure if this would be my greatest moment, but I needed to get my feelings off my chest. They've been bottled up for way too long for me to not say anything.
Closing the door behind him, Drew snickers as he talks to me. "Could you knock any louder?" He's sarcastic in his tone.
My head snaps back at him with fire in my eyes. "Could you *be* anymore of an idiot!" I yell at him for the first time ever.
That startled him as he looked at me confused. "Whoa, Annabelle, what's going on?" He asked me, sitting down on his bed.
"Why don't you tell me? Better yet, could you explain to me why you didn't think to tell me you were proposing to Juliana during break?" I blurt out, not holding back on my emotions.
Drew looked at me lost at what I was saying. I could see that he didn't know what I was talking about. With the emotion engulfing me, I ignored it to get my point across. All this back and forth we do with no real answers to anything wasn't getting us anywhere. I didn't want to keep being stuck in the same pattern that we've grown accustomed to. There needed to be a change even if it meant stopping what we agreed upon.
He chuckles out of confusion. "Annabelle I—"
"No, Drew, listen to me," I say as tears well in my eyes. "I can't believe you would have me thinking that I actually had a chance with you. All this sneaking around, the shared secrets, the beautiful talks we would have to get to know each other just meant nothing!" Everything was being brought to the table.
"Annabelle—"
"Let me finish," I cut him off once more. "I've pined and yearned to just be friends with you. Just to get you to notice me and when you finally do this is what I get? You even said yourself you see how I look at you and you choose to play me like some fool!" I continue to spew. "All I wanted was for you to love me the way that I love you." The tears finally fall.
He stands up as he sees me crying ready to console me. "Annabelle, seriously I—"
"And another thing—"
Before I'm able to go on another tangent, Drew takes about two steps as his hands cup my face and capture my lips. My heart pumps in my chest while I'm blown away by how much I wanted this. As angry as I was, I wanted Drew to kiss me again. It may be the last time we get to do this and if it were, I was going to accept it. Despite the tragic news, my feelings were the same. I loved him. I loved Drew and couldn't picture my world without him. It was also a great way to get me to shut up.
Parting our lips, his thumb caresses my cheeks with a soft smile on his face. "Will you shut up for 5 seconds so I can speak." He teased. How could he joke around at a time like this?
I gulped, sighing. "Sorry," I say averting my gaze.
"Don't be, but more importantly, I don't know what the hell you're talking about." He was calm about it, so I knew he was telling the truth.
My cheeks flush as I look back at him in embarrassment. "Wha-what?" I stuttered.
His hands drop from my face as he shakes his head. "Yeah, I have no clue what you mean. I'm not proposing to Julie." He says confidently. "I'm not even ready to be engaged let alone married."
"But...but Keegan. He said he talked to Julie and that's what she said." I tell him.
Drew shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets. "Well...he lied." Is all he said to me.
With Drew's demeanor about the whole situation, I knew he was telling the truth. Leaving me to feel like a dummy. Why would Keegan say something like that? I was ready to pour my whole heart out to Drew, end our friendship and never speak to him again if it were true. Is that what he wanted me to do? Did Keegan want me to end my friendship with Drew? None of it made sense and even if Julie did say it, there's no way she wouldn't be gloating about it to everyone.
My head starts spinning the more I try to process this information. I let myself get worked up without having all the details first. Instead of coming to Drew like a normal person, I flipped out. Only because of how much I care for him. If I didn't want him in my life I wouldn't have reacted that way. If he ever decides to marry Juliana then my fate with him would be set. That was something I was afraid of and couldn't handle it if it almost happened. The embarrassing part being that I confessed my true feelings for him without thinking this through. I didn't tell him all the details, but enough for him to know.
I bury my face in my hands completely embarrassed whilst sitting on his bed. "Oh my god, I'm an idiot." I breathed.
Drew sat down next to me with a laugh. "You definitely lost your shit, but it was pretty funny." He laughs some more as I punch his arm. "Though, I didn't like seeing you cry over me."
The air shifted as things got more serious once again. I looked at him with a somber expression. He wouldn't look back at me and instead at the wall in front of him.
"I...I didn't mean to I just...was afraid I guess." I didn't want him to feel bad that I was crying. Especially when he didn't even do anything wrong.
His fingers course through his hair as he gives me a half smile. "Stop apologizing, will you? Hurting you in any kind of way...it eats at me." He was being honest. "You know I would never do that right? The whole point of me waiting till now to *notice you* was so we could avoid that."
My heart leaped in my chest. The fact that he cared so much about me to want to avoid hurting me made me gush. It's always the little things with Drew that get me riled up. He some how finds a way to remind me of why I fell for him in the first place. I get to see parts of Drew that no one else gets to see. He was letting me into his world and if that was enough to clue me in on how he operates, nothing will be. It was silly of me to believe Keegan. The question remains, why would he do that?
I bite my lip feeling so stupid that I was even mad at him t begin with. I made him feel bad for something he didn't even do. The fact that he was able to sit there and take it all in stride is amazing. He didn't flip out on me. He didn't curse me out. He listened to me, calmed me down, and answered without batting an eye. Through all our troubles, all it did was make my heart grow fonder. Drew's hold on me could never be released. It was so strong even I couldn't unleash it.
"Drew..."
"I'm sorry Annabelle," he looks at me with his green eyes somber. "If-if there were a way for me to change things I would."
That piqued my interest. "What do you mean?" I asked him.
He sighs, not wanting to get into specifics. "Just...I understand if you don't want to continue on with our *facade*. Just know that I've always noticed you."
We should have stopped the mess we were creating. We shouldn't have started this in the first place. Yet here we are and there was simply not turning back. At least not right now. The fear of Juliana finding out still lingered in the back of my mind, but I'm not ready to be without Drew. There was so much I needed to find out still and ending our agreement would only hinder that. Call me stupid, but I'm holding out hope that one day we'll figure this out.
Breathing lightly, I smile at him not ready to end whatever it is we had going on. My hands grab at his shirt for me to initiate the kiss this time. I didn't hold back either. Pulling him so close to me that there was minimal space between us. He immediately caught up wrapping his arms around my waist. His tongue slips in my mouth while my hands rummage through his beautiful, shaggy hair. There was so much passion with the way we locked lips. I don't know what it was, but everything he felt, I did too. This was the first time we felt like one.
Our lips break but he didn't let me go. I never expected to be laying on his bed with him on top of me like this. However, I had no complaints as I had a great view of those piercing eyes. Words alone couldn't describe how much I felt about Drew.
His lips curve into a smile as he leaves another slight kiss on my lips. "So...you don't want to break up with me?" He asks.
I giggle at his poor choice of words. "We weren't dating to break up Drew." I remind him even though that would be nice.
He shrugs. "Ehh, same difference." He laughed before sitting up. "On a serious note, are you still going to see Keegan? You know, after everything."
Following suit, I sat up with a purse of my lips. "I don't know. It was a pretty big lie." I say confused on the matter. "What should I do?"
"It's not for me to decide Annabelle. You've made that perfectly clear before." He mentioned and then grabbed my hand. "Just be careful and don't hesitate to call me."
Drew was right in that I had to figure this one out on my own. I wouldn't lose my cool like I did with Drew though. I'm going to ask Keegan calmly and see what he has to say. There has to be a good reason, right?