**Chapter Fifty**
"Please, let's not talk about relationships," I beg Dillon and Cameron.
We were hanging out in our dorm after having a bit of lunch. There wasn't much to do since it was a Sunday still. On top of that, it was a rainy Sunday. After my encounter with Drew, relationships weren't something I wanted to speak about. We didn't know where ours was going and then there was Keegan to think about. All of it did nothing but cause me stress. Stress that I didn't need right now.
Cameron smirks, spinning around in my chair. "Why? Something wrong in your fantasy land?" He wondered.
"I still can't believe he knew before me," Dillon whined. "I was here first!"
That put a slight smile on my face. "It's not like I wanted to tell him," I say. "He just so happened to catch us first."
"Anywho, how long do you expect to keep this up? Juliana isn't an idiot." Cameron reminded me.
A breath escapes me. "That's the thing, I sort of told Drew that we should stop."
They both gasped surprised at what was said as much as Drew argued for me to think about it. My mind was made up. Everything was risky and Juliana has taken more notice. There was no way for us to keep lying to her about what we were doing. Why were we always alone with no one else around? Today, it was just breakfast. Next time that might not be the case. I didn't want to take the chance and ruin all the bonds formed between us.
Not only that but I wanted to be friends with Juliana. As annoying as she can be with all her little quirks, I can't lie and say I didn't enjoy her company. She was everything a girl could dream of being and then some. Ruining our friendship wasn't something that I wanted. Even though I liked Drew before they got acquainted, it felt like breaking the code. Yet, there was this tug of war in my mind to continue to see him.
Regardless, my friends were not helpful in the matter. They were very supportive of me and my endeavors but sometimes too supportive. Too supportive in the sense that they wanted me to continue seeing Drew as well. Knowing exactly how Juliana would react if she ever caught us. I question their judgment sometimes, though they do have valid points.
"Anna, you've waited for this your whole life," Dillon had to remind me. "I'm not for one ruining relationships, but Drew obviously feels the same way."
Cameron nodded in agreement. "You know I'm all for doing what you feel is best. However, you can't tell me you haven't developed a solid relationship." I hated when they agreed with each other.
Sighing, my eyes roll in annoyance. "We have but Juliana...what if she finds out?" I question. "I can't risk making her angry."
Dillon scoffed. "Sometimes you have to worry about yourself, Anna." She was right. "And it's not like you sought him out. He came after you."
That part was true. I could barely speak to Drew before he started pursuing me. Had he not been so adamant about us hanging out, this wouldn't even be an issue. Through my jealousy, I was still trying to be respectful of their relationship. Then he asked me to kiss him. The kiss that changed our world entirely. If that never happened we wouldn't even be in this predicament. However, my issues with it all stem from my father.
"I know what you guys mean, I do. I'm just afraid to end up like my dad." I sighed once more. "Creating a rift between two people who are supposed to be in love. Only for me to be the third party coming in and squashing it."
Cameron gives me a soft smile. "Anna, I promise you're nothing like your father," he reminds me.
"And like I said, he sought after you. Obviously, do what's best for you but you don't need to feel bad." Dillon added on.
"Maybe, but let's not worry about that right now, please," I beg them.
As great as it was to have their support, I was in no mood to talk about this anymore. Mainly because I still didn't know what I wanted to do. My time with Drew has been great and from the look on his face, he didn't want it to end either. Everything was complicated and confusing, but there was no time to worry about any of it.
For now, we continued talking about everything else other than significant others. Until Keegan texted me. After our date, we've been talking nonstop. Due to his work schedule, it was hard to see him from time to time, but today was different. This time we were going to do something and not be interrupted by Drew and his antics. Hopefully, he brought more chocolate too. It was so good.
Dillon giggled. "Look at that, your other boy toy is calling." She teased.
I laughed, shaking my head at her nonsense. "Shut up, he's not my boy toy," I debunk. "We happen to like each other a lot."
"But you don't like him as much as you do Drew, do you?" Cameron raised a brow.
My cheeks flushed when he said that. It's true, the feelings I've felt for Drew didn't translate to Keegan. I didn't have a strong emotion toward him like I maybe should have. That didn't mean we didn't have anything at all. We were still learning about each other and with Drew involved with Juliana, there was room for us to get to that point. For now, we were simply having fun.
Ignoring his comment, I agree to meet up with Keegan in an hour. "You guys are the worst," I say.
Cameron laughed. "I'm only teasing, but at least you have a fallback."
"I don't want to treat him as a fallback," I argue. "I want him to be my person but..."
"You can't let go of Drew," Dillon finished. "I get it and there's nothing wrong with having options."
She was right about that as well. "No, but I don't understand why my relationships have to be complicated. You found Dre and even Cam has Kayla."
It's true. It seemed like my friends had better luck than I did when it came to this stuff. Dillon always had Dre since the moment he laid eyes on her. There was no other person stopping Dillon from being with Dre. The same with Cameron. He lucked out talking to someone like Kayla and they've been on an upward trajectory ever since. Taking their time with each other to truly get a feel for one another.
Then there's me stuck in a secret fling all while trying to get to know somebody. Keegan was amazing and everything about him made for perfect boyfriend material. Despite what Drew was saying, Keegan seemed to be someone who could do no wrong. After all, he wasn't the one taking me down a road of deceit. That was Drew and there was no way any of it would end well. This prompted me to believe that our friends-with-benefit charade should end.
I'm happy that I had the friends I did though. They were always supportive and understanding of my situation. Encouraging me to be brave and have an optimistic attitude. Kind of like how Drew does. I gotta stop connecting everything to him.
"Hey! I didn't even want to date, Dre." Dillon rolls her eyes.
Cameron and I laugh at her awful lies. "You are the worst liar known to man." Cameron pointed out.
I have to agree with him. "Everyone with eyes could see that you like Dre. Even your own brother."
"When did we switch the spotlight on me?" She asked, annoyed.
"The minute you decided to tell that bald-faced lie." Cameron and I laugh again.
Dillon rolls her eyes again. "Point is, Anna you and Drew have something special that is hard to just let go of."
We did have this strange connection that neither of us could get with anyone else. Even with our respective partners, Keegan certainly wasn't anything like Drew. Not that I expected him to be anyway. The matter at hand is deciding whether I should let go of my feelings for Drew and focus solely on Keegan. My friends seem to think otherwise. I'm unsure altogether. It's hard when you don't know what the future may hold.
That aside, we continued to talk more until Keegan informed me he was outside. Usually, I'm excited to see him but today my mind was all mixed up. I would try my best to conceal any doubt I'm feeling for the sake of Keegan. There was no need for us to not enjoy our time because of my lack of transparency. Though he'd questioned me before, I hadn't been completely honest about my relationship with Drew. He noticed the way Drew acted when he saw me around other guys. What would happen when Keegan finds out my feelings for Drew as well?