***Chapter Forty-Two***
The next night, I found myself in my dorm trying to get any bit of work done. I wasn’t doing a very good job with my mind occupied elsewhere. The holidays were getting closer every day that goes past. I still couldn’t bring myself to talk to my father about what was going on with us. My mother was right and that it would have to happen eventually, but when?
My mind was so far gone that I hadn’t realized someone was knocking on it. From experience, Dillon would not answer it. So, unfortunately, I had to get up and open the door.
When that happened, my heart almost dropped. There was Drew’s smiling face with a delicate look in his eyes. Obviously, he was here to see me and I wasn’t mad about it. I’m unsure where our relationship is, but it’s Drew. I bet Drew could hear how loudly my heart was beating. My face almost looked alive again, staring in his direction. He was such a weakness.
Trying to mask my surprise, I straighten up to speak. “Drew…” I trail off. “What-what are you doing here?” I couldn’t help but ask.
His eyes avert to the ground. “Hey…I um…” he stumbles on his words. “Do you want to come with me somewhere?” He asks.
The offer was tempting, but after our argument, I wasn’t sure if I should go. What would I get out of this? What would we get out of this? Whatever talk he had with Keegan must have sparked something in him. That still didn’t mean I should just go with him. It’ll give him the easy way out and we didn’t want that. Yet, I couldn’t fight the urge to want to see where he would take me.
Pouting my lips, I look up, not sure what to do. “Give me one second,” I say, closing the door in his face, immediately turning to Dillon. “What do I do?” I ask for advice.
She put her book down with a smile on her face. “Just go with him,” she doesn’t hesitate to answer.
“Are you serious? After everything?” I genuinely ask her. She couldn’t be serious?
Oh, but she was. “Anna, obviously you still feel something toward him and he’s trying to make up for it,” she said. “At least go hear what he has to say.”
I cross my arms, raising a brow at her. “Are you doing this because it’s your brother?” I tease.
“I’m doing it because I know my best friend,” she smiles. “And so I can tell Dre to get here while he can.”
Laughing, I sighed, taking her advice. I grabbed a sweater, opening the door again to see Drew still standing there. I’m surprised he stayed and waited for me. He must have had a lot of confidence that I would go with him. As much as it still bothered me what he did, I couldn’t ever pass up any opportunity to explore Drew’s world again. It was my sole purpose for spending so much time together. The very reason I’d ask him so many questions. Maybe he missed how much I would bug him, so that’s why he came here. Regardless, this was our chance to fix things. Get back to where we were not even a few days ago.
Following behind him, we once again got in his car and drove off. The car ride was silent as can be. Neither of us made a peep, and the only sound that could be heard was the heat blowing at us. I kept my gaze out the window, watching the passing trees as he drove on the highway. My leg would shake every now and again because of the nerves. It wasn’t clear where we were going or what we were doing, but silence is always maddening. As if neither of us wanted to be the first one to jump.
Staying like that, Drew finally exits the highway, driving for another 5 minutes before pulling into the drive-in. My eyes lit up as it’s been forever since I’ve been to the drive-in. My family and I used to come here often before my parents divorced. It’s a bit of a painful memory, but a happy one. I would sit in the back middle seat while my parents were up front, indulging in big bags of popcorn we pre-popped at home. Though dated, a good drive-in never disappointed me.
I tried to contain my excitement, but the smile on my face was a dead giveaway. So much so that Drew chuckled when he saw it. He parked in a good spot before opening the sunroof a bit. He got out of the car, surprising me only to return minutes later with some hot chocolates for both of us. I undid my seat belt, taking in the chocolate goodness. Afterwards, Drew went to his trunk and came back with a nice, cozy blanket for us to share. This is where things got interesting because instead of sitting up front, he opted for us to sit in the back. He pushed the seats up a little as we moved back there, draping the blanket over the both of us.
At first we kept a respectable distance between us, watching the old time horror movie cradle. It wasn’t a bad movie, but not something I would have never expected him to take me to see. I loved a good horror, and it gave me plenty of inspiration to write at some point. But my mind was elsewhere, sitting next to Drew like this. It’s not the first time we’ve been alone, but the first time after such an event happened. Neither of us knew where to start or where to end. We were trapped in our deafening silence, waiting for the other to make a move.
Luckily, I didn’t have to wait too long as Drew spoke up first. “Annabelle,” he chose his words carefully. “Are you still mad at me?” He asks.
I set my hot chocolate in the cup holder before looking at him. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” I give him a smirk of my own.
That got a laugh from him. “You could be here and still be upset,” he points out.
“I’m more confused than upset,” I admit. “I…I just don’t get it, Drew.”
He looked at me, setting down his drink as well. “Get what?” He asks for clarification.
“You.” My voice goes soft. “I understand nothing about you.”
His laugh fills the car again, agreeing with my observation. “Few people do.” He shrugs.
My chest caves as my eyes focus on the blanket. “The difference between those people and me is that I want to understand you.”
The silence encapsulates us once again as my words caused Drew to tense up. It’s true though. Every little thing that I ask him, invasive or not, it’s me wanting to understand who Drew is. What made Andrew Tate who is today. The artist, the creative, the caring, even the sensitive. There were so many layers to pull back with him that every answer he gave me left me wanting more. The guy had more depth to him than the ocean. It could never be simple like I wish it was. Even then, it made me more and more attracted to him. If we could get to a place of understanding, then things would make a lot more sense.
Instead, we were trapped in what felt like a never-ending cycle between him and I. I’m the one who knows what I want and when I wanted it. While Drew seemed to fight it with his every being. Even if he lost sometimes, the fight with himself persisted on. He was definitely tough, but that toughness was only going to get him so far. How long did he plan to keep everything a secret?
His fingers run through his hair with this weird expression on his face. “It’s bad enough that I know that, but to hear you say it makes me feel worse.” He sighs heavily.
My eyes meet his, feeling bad I even said that. “I’m sorry…but it’s true, Drew.” I couldn’t lie. “You…umm…mean a lot to me.”
Drew can’t seem to look back up at me. “Yeah, well, I shouldn’t Annabelle,” he sounds angry but with himself, not me.
Still, I saw this as a prime opportunity to get some answers out of him. “Why not? Why can’t you mean a lot to me?” I pry.
His head shakes as he tries to be as vague as possible. “Because I’ll just be dragging you into a mess. That’s not even worth your time.” He finally catches my gaze. “There’s so much that you don’t know about and as much as it would be nice for me to tell you, for me to get it off my chest…I can’t. Not right now.”
That was always his answer for everything involving the matter. It was never a good time to tell me anything. Just like everyone else couldn’t tell me. I was trying to do what they said and go to Drew for the answers, but he kept dodging them. It’s nice that he doesn’t want to drag me into what sounds overtly complicated. However, I’m able to handle whatever he was throwing at me. This isn’t like back at home, where I was afraid of everything different and new. Drew has helped me a lot in the sense of me opening up to new experiences. Whatever he felt like he couldn’t tell me, I wanted him to know that he could and that he could trust me.
I bit my lip, taking in what he always says to me. “If not now, then when?” I ask him. “We are friends. Close friends at that.”
He agreed. “And we are. Sometimes I think a little more, but still.” He smiles, as do I. “Do you want a bit of honesty?” It’s like he read my mind.
My head nods frantically. “Dear god, please, that’s all I’ve been asking for.”
His laugh is like a sweet melody to my ears. “Honestly, I’m just trying to protect you. With my emotions everywhere, it makes it hard to keep certain feelings under control.”
My ears perked up. “So what, you just shove them down?” I continue to ask.
“More like try to disrupt them because I know it’s wrong.” He looks at me intently. “But it feels so right at the same time.”
My cheeks flush as the realization hits me. I’m positive that Drew, in the only way he knew how, was confessing to me he may have had a crush on me. It was a lot to process, and part of me wanted to jump for joy. The other part wanted to climb back inside my shell, hoping to never hear him say it again. Only because I knew, even if he said it, nothing would change. We were still just Annabelle and Andrew. Two people fighting off their feelings as much as they could.
Yet he was right in that it was so hard. Trying to keep everything under control was more complicated than it seems. When you feel so strongly about someone, you can’t shove them to the side. The more time we spent together, the more those feelings would continue to grow. Though, even with that, I’m happy that he was at least honest with me. It made his behavior toward Keegan more understandable. It also made me wallow at the thought of Cameron being right. I would never tell him.
My fingers became fidgety listening to Drew speak. He noticed, taking one of my hands in his. A feeling of comfort washed over me as my body missed the physical contact between Drew and I. Throughout all my anger, all I wanted was for Drew to touch me. In any way he could. It’s something that has become a relaxant when it shouldn’t be. He has a way of doing things to me that only he could achieve. Or I was just a pathetic girl infatuated by his every facet.
He squeezed gently, tugging me closer. “Always with the nerves.” He points out.
Smiling, I still had one more question for him. “Drew, not to ruin the moment, but what exactly did you talk to Keegan about?” I needed to know.
“I only apologized,” he said. He definitely took in my words when I told him to be more honest with me. “Keegan’s not a bad guy. I’m just jealous.”
My head turns to hide the smirk on my face. “Jealous of what?” I knew what. I just wanted to hear him say it.
He chuckles with a roll of his eyes. “You’re slick, Annabelle, but not that slick.”
Laughing, it was worth a shot, but I knew what he meant. Even without words, we were back to our normal situation as we continued to watch the rest of the movie. Somewhere in between that and the end. My head rested on his shoulder before I could feel myself losing consciousness. My mind was at ease now that we had solved our problems. Though it felt like things were nowhere near over.