Chapter 230 Chapter 229
The questions that plagued her were relentless. How was he doing? Did he abandon her here? Was he thinking about her? Why hadn't he called her back? Was the crisis so bad he didn't think to send a letter?
Rayena was miserable, but she hid it well. Though her pregnancy still progressed, being in a constant state of neglect had her losing a lot of weight, and she feared there would be complications during the delivery. The day arrived and—just as she dreaded—there were.
She was in labor for a full day.
The birthing chamber was dimly lit, candles casting flickering shadows on the walls as Rayena's labor pains intensified. The midwife, a wise and weathered woman named Margaret, hovered over her, her hands moving with practiced ease.
Soraya and her mother were present as well, holding her hands as she screamed out her lungs, tears pouring out of her like rain. She was so exhausted.
"It hurts..." she croaked in a hoarse voice, gazing at her mother, a sob building in her throat. "Xenon is supposed to be here. He promised to be here!"
"Oh dear... " Remeta cried, cleaning off the sweat on her forehead while Rayena gasped for breath.
“Push, Your Majesty,” the midwife urged, her voice trembling despite her training. Sweat dripped from her brow as she pressed a bloodied hand to Rayena’s stomach, aiding her.
Rayena screamed, grunting as she pushed, teeth clenched so tightly the veins in her neck stood out. Pain split her open, white-hot and merciless.
"I can't do this!! It hurts!! It hurts so much!" she cried, squeezing Soraya's arms. The latter winced as Rayena's nails dug into her skin, drawing blood.
"You can. You just need to try a little harder," she encouraged, even as her voice trembled.
"I'm tired..." Rayena sobbed, tasting the saltiness of her tears.
"Don't go fainting on us now. You've done that twice already!" The mid-wife cried, her fingers pushing into her vagina. Rayena screamed, feeling the stickiness of blood around her privates. She'd lost so much already, she'd grown light headed.
"Come on, honey. You can do this!" Remeta said, gripping her daughter tight, cleaning the sweat off her brows. "Push, my dear. Push!"
Rayena let out a guttural scream—raw, primal, animal. The pain that cut through was endless, all consuming.
Agony twisted her chest, and she hated Xenon for doing this to her. For abandoning her like this. Then regretted the thought almost instantly.
What she wanted most was for him to be here. She collapsed onto the bed, tears spilling from her eyes as thought of his kisses and warmth. The safety she felt in his hands.
Rayena started panting for air, her vision swimming. No matter how much she tried to summon her strength, her body was already exhausted. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep.
So tired. I'm so tired.
"Is the baby still not coming yet?" She heard Soraya cry, her hold on her tightening.
"Nothing so far!" The midwife cried in a strained voice.
"Rayena, can you still push?" Soraya whispered into her ears, voice trembling.
"No... " She mumbled, tears slipping from her closed eyes. She could already feel herself drifting away.
"This won't do. Rayena is losing her life and endangering the baby. We have to get it out another way." Soraya took several panicked breaths. "Can you perform a caesarean birth?"
A panicked silence fell over the room.
"I... I can. But isn't it too dangerous?" Margaret asked, glancing at the women in the room.
"It's the only way. She's grossly unprepared for a delivery like this. Please, we need to act fast. Rayena is scarcely conscious as it is. Sterilise the equipment—hurry!"
There was a flurry of activity. Rayena felt more than saw Soraya leave her side and collapsed against the pillow and sheets, her breathing shallow.
She feebly felt hands on her stomach, something cutting through the skin of her stomach, pulling apart the folds of her belly and reaching for a weight settled within.
It was removed, and a shrill cry should have pierced the room, but no matter how much Rayena waited, she couldn't hear a thing. Perhaps something was wrong with her ears.
The atmosphere in the room shifted instantly. Outside, thunder rumbled.
The midwife’s hands faltered as she held the unresponsive baby in her hands. She gave it a light shake,
expecting it to cry, but no sound came. Her face paled as she pressed her ear against the newborn’s chest. Once. Twice. Then again.
Nothing.
"What's wrong?" Remeta asked, gazing at the midwife.
Margaret shook her head, her face etched with sorrow.
Remeta gasped, her eyes watering as she clasped her mouth.
Soraya had long turned ashen, but Rayena was still lucid, barely aware of the tragedy that had settled in the room.
"Quick, stitch her up," Soraya whispered, her voice shaking. Even in the state of shock they were all in, they moved with practiced efficiency, sewing up the cut they had made in her belly, cleaning up the blood, and administering herbs. Slowly, Rayena came back to her body, becoming aware of her surroundings.
"Where's my child?" Rayena's weak voice cut through the room. Everyone stilled.
“Say something,” Rayena rasped. Her vision blurred, tears mingling with sweat. “Where's my baby? Why... why isn’t he crying?”
The silence stretched—too long, too cruel.
Soraya’s lips quivered.
The midwife finally looked up, eyes glistening. “I’m sorry, my princess. He's… he's gone.”
Rayena froze, the world folding into a single, soundless void. Gone. The word didn’t make sense.
"What do you mean, gone?" she asked, her voice barely audible. She blinked slowly, staring at the women in the room. Most averted their gazes.
"We did our best, but..." Margaret paused, her face crumbling, tears welling up in her eyes.
Rayena's chest caved inward, her body turned frigid. “No.” The whisper was hollow. “No, he's just tired. Give him to me.”
She reached out, trembling, and the midwife hesitated before laying the small, limp body in her arms. The baby was warm but lifeless, covered in blood and amniotic fluid, eyes permanently shut, hands fisted.
Cold sweat broke out of her back as she stared at the face that looked too much like Xenon's. He should be breathing, crying these walls down. Why isn't he doing any of those things?
Rayena rocked him gently, whispering lullabies through cracked lips. “You’re just sleeping,” she murmured. “Wake up, my love. Please. Don't leave me, please...” she begged, her voice shaking.
She pressed her forehead to his, trying to give him her warmth, even as his body turned clammy.
Soraya knelt beside her, tears streaking her face, but said nothing. There was nothing to say.