Chapter 192 Chapter 191
“Here’s the handkerchief I promised you,” she said softly, holding it out to him. “I’ll start working on your blanket next.”
Xenon’s gaze dropped to the small piece of fabric in his hands. For a long moment, he didn’t speak. His thumb brushed over the delicate stitches, slow and deliberate, as if the careful effort of her work steadied something inside him.
“Thank you,” he said finally, his voice deep and hoarse, stripped of the usual authority.
Rayena gave a small, uncertain smile. "You're welcome." She whispered, glad he accepted it. She slipped inside her chambers, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. Only then did she allow herself to sag against it, a long breath escaping her lips. Her pulse still thrummed beneath her skin. She was grateful the exchange hadn’t turned into something worse, grateful that beneath all his rage, there was still restraint.
She turned toward her bed and began sorting through her embroidery materials, threads, needles, scraps of fabric, when something dark caught her eye. A leather-bound book peeked through the folds of yarn.
Her heart skipped.
The journal.
She hadn’t noticed it before. It must have slipped into her basket somehow. For a moment she simply stared, torn between curiosity and fear, then slowly reached for it.
The leather was worn smooth at the edges, faintly scented of parchment and something older, rose oil, perhaps. She sat down on the couch, opened the cover, and began to read.
Time slipped away.
By the time she finished with the book, Rayena had become a sobbing mess. She blew her nose several times, but no matter how often she told herself to stop crying, the tears wouldn’t stop pouring out of her eyes. Her heart broke for the woman whose words filled the pages. The journal entries had grown increasingly tragic toward the end, and everything she thought she knew—or had been told—about the late princess was wrong.
The version Lylall had told her before was just a condensed, bastardized version of what really happened. His mother had never been forcefully taken by his father. She had never been defiled by him. Everything between them had been consensual and, from her writings, deeply beautiful. She had been happiest when she discovered he was her mate. It was unfortunate they hadn’t been allowed to be together—and now their child was being punished for the sins his parents never committed.
A knock came on the door, and Rayena paused, swiftly wiping her tears and fixing her appearance before opening it. She found the king standing there, dressed in more casual clothing. From the looks of things, it was already evening. She had spent the entire day reading the late princess’s journal.
"Um, Raye... would you like to go on a walk with—have you been crying!?" he asked in alarm, reaching out to touch her face.
"Oh... um, no, not really! It’s not what you think!" Rayena immediately responded, sniffing. "I was reading a sad book—that’s why. It’s no big deal, really!" She tried to smile, but it came out watery.
"Are you sure? It’s not because of me? Not because of what I did earlier?"
"No," she said quickly, shaking her head. "No, it’s not. I was reading a sad book, trust me. I’m fine now."
"Okay, if you say so. Would you like to go on a walk—"
"Yes! Hold on, let me get my coat." She cut him off, rushing back inside. Grabbing one from the rack, she quickly slipped it on and walked back out.
"I’m ready!" she announced, smiling up at him.
He watched her suspiciously for a moment, but ultimately nodded and started walking. Xenon led her to the gardens, where the chilly evening breeze brushed against their skin as the sun began to set. Occasionally, Rayena would glance at him and sense the tension still radiating off him, just as it had earlier in the day.
"Do you still not want to tell me what happened?" she asked softly. "Even if I can’t help, I’ll definitely listen."
Xenon let out a breath, clasping his hands behind his back as his steps slowed. Rayena watched him, worried he wouldn’t speak, but then he finally said, "The council wants to impeach me."
"What?" Rayena walking came into a full halt. "Why?"
"Well, Because I am yet to have a mate and heir and still haven't won their trust." He added in a neutral tone, an indecipherable look on his face.
"B-but you have been splendid so far?!"
Xenon scoffed, the sound almost derogatory. "Splendid? That isn't enough for them, Rayena. I've been given an ultimatum. If I don't her a mate or someone that I can make my queen in the next two month's time, I am going to be removed."
"Isn't there anyway to stop it?" Rayena asked, her eyes wide with panic.
He shrugged. "I don't think I can anymore. I don't even want to." He admitted softly, the weariness now evident in his voice. Rayena stiffened when she saw his shoulders slump in defeat and a deep pang cut through her chest. Even if he didn't put it into words, it was clear that he was tired of fighting.
Tears stung her eyes before she even realized it, and she rushed to hug him, her hold on him tightening while her heart broke, bleeding in pain. Xenon tensed all over, shocked by her act but let her keep holding him. His arms hovered uncertainly before falling back to his sides, his gaze turning upwards. He realized he needed it more than he would ever admit. Her scent wafted into his nose, strangely comforting and grounding.
"You don't deserve this... " She cried into his chest, her body trembling with sobs. "This is so unfair to you! Why are they punishing you for something you have no control over? For the sins you didn't commit?!"
Xenon gently pulled her head back, gently cleaning off the tears streaming down her eyes. His chest tightened on seeing how hurt she was for him, but know it was out of care almost made him happy. "My sin was being born, Rayena." He groaned, voice rough. "I'm a child born out of assault, the greatest abomination and shame of all. It's only natural that they don't want me."
"Assault?" Rayena repeated, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed. "Is that what you've been told?"
Xenon scoffed, expecting her to pull away after what he just revealed. She didn't. "The story is written into history books, Raye. How my father kidnapped my mother and raped her, making her fall pregnant. I'm an abomination, an absolute disgrace." He said, chuckling darkly. Hell, even talking about it made him want to rip someone to shreds.
Rayena gasped, pulling away, eyes wide with terror. "You're not an abomination! You're anything but an abomination! Your fsther never kidnapped your mother, she willingly went with him! She agreed to follow him!"
It was Xenon's turn to pause. "What do you mean?"