Chapter 187 Chapter 186
Rayena swallowed tightly. "It always starts with you kissing me," she whispered, her face growing hotter. Xenon leaned in to claim her lips again, harder and more demanding. A moan escaped her mouth, but he swallowed it in its entirety, his frame pinning her to the bed.
It was only when she ran out of air that he pulled back, gazing at her with stormy eyes. "Like that?" he groaned, his voice huskier. Rayena’s insides turned to mush, but she still held him. "A little rougher," she whispered.
He snarled before attacking her lips again, but this time, his hands roamed around her body, pressing himself against her. The world—even the chambers—fell away, leaving just the two of them, completely lost in each other.
"Yes…" Rayena gasped when his hand palmed her breast, squeezing it gently. "Yesss…" she hissed when he tweaked her taut nipple through the flimsy gown she had on.
"Then, what?" he growled, his voice more animal than male.
"You get between my legs," she panted, eyes glazed over. "And fill me up," she bit out.
He snarled again, ripping the gown from her and locking her legs around his midriff, his arousal straining painfully behind his breeches. Haphazardly undressing, he lined himself against her dripping core and gave a sharp thrust. As expected, her natural resistance barred his entry—but what was more shocking was the flashbacks he received of being tortured and the sickening images of himself thrusting into mangled female bodies.
He stilled, his breathing growing labored as revulsion filled him. Rayena swiftly caught the change in his demeanor and froze. "Your Majesty, what’s wrong?" she asked, trying to reach him. He flinched away like her touch burned him, unable to hear the words she had just spoken through the voices in his head. Voices filled with rage and disgust, raging at him to destroy everything in his path. His tiger was already roaring in fury, pushing him toward a full shift.
"Lyllal?" Rayena’s soft voice cut through the clamoring in his head. Xenon blinked rapidly, his gaze slowly focusing on her. "Is everything alright?" she asked, and he saw he was already at the edge of the bed. He cleared his throat, taking several deep breaths.
"I’m fine…" he groaned at last.
"Okay…" she answered, smiling at him. The action disarmed him more than anything. Reaching for the sheets on the bed, she pulled them up over her exposed chest. "If you’re not ready, we don’t have to go all the way."
Xenon wanted to say something, but she spoke again. "You don’t seem ready."
He paused, averting his gaze. She was right. He wasn’t ready.
Still, the reality lay before him, clear and haunting. "This has to happen, Rayena. If I wait till my rut hits, it’ll be truly painful for you. In that state, I’ll mistake your resistance as rejection and try to force myself on you. I don’t want your first memory of intimacy to be that," he ground out through clenched teeth.
Rayena grew pensive. "What do we do then?"
"I don’t know…" he finally admitted after a tense moment of silence.
Rayena spoke up again after a while. "Well, dreams of you having me aren’t the only ones I’ve had," she muttered, peeking a look at him. He slowly turned to her, a brow raised.
"Really?"
Rayena nodded slowly, fixing her gaze on another corner of the room. "There’s one where…" She trailed off, her face turning a deep shade of red. When she spoke again, her voice was much stronger. "There’s one where you were feasting on me."
"Wait, what?" He seemed taken aback. "What kind of dreams are you having!?"
"I don’t know, okay!" she defended herself, flailing her hands. "They started after that night with you in your wolf form, and I can’t get them to stop!"
Xenon laughed then, finding her actions amusing. Her embarrassment burned deeper, and she scolded herself for admitting something like that to him. She should have made it a closely guarded secret. His chuckling died out, and he moved closer once more, getting between her spread thighs, tilting his head to the side. She watched as his gaze turned seductive and her body warmed, blood simmering with anticipation.
"Feasting on you? I can do that," he groaned, his voice now seductive. Hopefully, it wouldn’t trigger a negative reaction. Rising above her, he stared at her flushed face, feeling desire stir within him once more.
"Let’s do this again."