45
She was walking around in the kitchen, which had now become her sanctuary. She was always cooking the new recipes she found in youtube or the books Mama always bought for her and even Baba gave her a cookbook from a well known international chef. She found her therapy in cooking, and it felt more good than bad. She smiled to herself and laughed even more when she was alone. Whenever the inspiration struck, Aisha never forgot the poet in her; she scribbled the words down.
For all the time she had spent in the house when she saw back, a lot had changed in her but she tried so much not to show it to them. Mama made sure she felt loved all over and Firdausi too. She always felt overwhelmed until Abba’s thought crossed her mind or Nasir’s persistent visits. She had never relented to any of his pleas, he always spent his weekends here in Bauchi, but she had never for once let her secret out, that she was now a divorcee. That would give him more effrontery to approach her, and she didn’t want that.
The first few months she had spent were filled with fear, she always had a feeling that Abba might barge into the house unannounced, but as the months passed by; she felt more at ease. Now as she cooked, she hummed soft music to herself and walked around in careful, yet majestic steps.
“Aisha,” She heard a husky voice beside her, right beside her right air and her hair straightened out. She wanted to turn around, even though she was sure she heard his voice; she wanted to confirm her instincts. But she was afraid to turn around and have her body clasped with his, judging by the way he was dangerously close to her.
“What is it? Please move back a little, you’re suffocating me.” She managed to speak, even though her words were coming out in hiccups. She didn’t even know he was back. But he now lived half of his life on the road from Bauchi to Kano than he had lived it in either of the two states.
She felt as he chuckled, and despite having him not completely clasped to her body, she felt the reverberations his body made as he chuckled. She hated the effect Nasir still had on her, it wasn’t at all pleasing and rather a little bit dangerous. If he kept being this close around her, someday she might shade off this skin she had on her and be her real true self. The Aisha he knew and fell in love with.
“How will I ever suffocate you? You might die and I can’t risk losing you again when I just got you back.” He whispered, and she wanted the ground she was standing up to rift so she could hide away from this man. He knew how effective he was on her, and Aisha knew he was doing everything on purpose.
Angrily, she turned around and their lips nearly got in contact when she dropped down to the floor, her heart beating in an unhealthy speed. Nasir took a few steps back and watched as she placed her hands on her chest and quickly got up to stir her cooking.
“Tell me what I’ve done to you, Aisha. And I promise to apologize, please.” She looked at him and he was innocently staring at her. She grimaced her face and turned her attention back on the boiling pot.
“You did nothing wrong, Dr But please will you be careful and make sure to provide a reasonable distance between us?” She wasn’t looking at him as she spoke, and Aisha hated the fact that she couldn’t put up with calling him Nasir as she initially intended. Just like how she told him, he was a doctor in her eyes and would forever be.
“And if I can ask why?” He stood beside her and was trying to taste what she was cooking when Aisha swatted his hand away from her pot.
“You know you can’t do that when I’m still cooking. And my reason is,” She turned to look at him and mustered her utmost confidence and bravado, “I’m married to your brother. The fact that we don’t live together doesn’t mean that we aren’t married anymore. I’m sure it’s going to be reconciled and he won’t live to see his younger brother flirting with his wife.”
She expected to see a pained expression on his face, but Nasir chuckled to himself and started nibbling on the fruits he saw on the kitchen island. “And what if that wife isn’t a wife anymore? Am I free to do that?” She wished she can put up the puzzle he made. She knew Mama would never tell him she was divorced since she had promised not to tell them.
Before Aisha was able to reply to him and have his wide grin turned into a frown, Mama walked in with tears cascading on her cheeks with her phone in her hand. Nasir rushed to her and guided her to the chair around the kitchen island and she sat down. “Nasir, Abba called. He’s coming back home tomorrow.” Aisha didn’t know when the spoon she was holding fell on the ground and their attention got to her.
Mama stood up and walked towards her, “It’s going to be fine, Aisha. I think he’s finally of hiding the truth and he’s coming back home to tell us. You should stay calm, we’re here, nothing is ever going to happen to you.”
Aisha nodded her head but they saw the fear evident on her face, and Nasir felt bad that it was his brother that turned her into this. He traumatised her with physical and verbal abuse. She wondered if Abba was going to come back with the Aisha he claimed to have seen. What was he going to say to them? That he violated Aisha and he divorced her? And now he didn’t know where to find her.
“You’re going to be fine, Aisha. I’ll be here to protect you. He has divorced you Afterall, with three talaqs and he has no right to say he wants you back. Just walk through it as you did on the past pains you experience.” They all turned and flashed him confused looks.
“How did you know? Aisha told you that?” Mama asked, and that’s when Aisha was sure that it wasn’t Mama that told Nasir about the divorce. How did he know then?
“No, Mama. He called me last month and when I asked him about Aisha, he told me he divorced her. I guess he was finally tired of hiding it from you that’s why he wants to come back home. Because he made me promise not to tell anyone of you and promised to find Aisha before he gets back home. Maybe he’s tired of searching and is going to reveal the truth.”
“I’ll just have to tell Firdausi then, please take care of Aisha.” Mama walked out of the kitchen and Nasir stared at a stupefied Aisha. She sat down on a chair and looked at him, just when the tears she had been holding rolled down her cheeks.
“This feels like a wound opener to me, Dr I don’t think I can be able to see him now.” She croaked and Nasir nodded his head in understanding. He handed her his handkerchief and she looked at him before she collected it from him.
“You’re going to be fine, Aisha. I trust you, you’re strong.” She nodded her head and Nasir lowered the level at which the fire was burning. He knew she was in no condition to take care of her cooking.
She cried and looked at him, “Can we please walk to the pool? I need some fresh air, it feels he’s here already.”
Nasir reluctantly nodded at her then looked at her boiling pot on the cooking gas “Your food, can we leave it and come back without having it burnt?” She took a look inside the pot and nodded her head, silently handing him his handkerchief.
They walked side by side until they were in the pool and Aisha dipped her legs into the water, Nasir sat down beside her and folded his hands over his chest, watching how she was playing with the water while sighing. He knew she was trying to bottle up whatever it is that was trying so hard to tear her apart, and he wished he can take away her pain with just a single touch.
“How did you feel?” He asked he wanted to know it all. How she coped while living with his monster of a brother. He had never had the chance to ask her about how she felt because she never even let him look at her peacefully.
“I felt like I was dying while still breathing on earth. Living with Abba was one of the most painful things I ever did in my life. Dr, I cried at nights and stay woke at days because I was always afraid of having him around him. It felt like I was walking on thrones and prone, it was painful that I still have nightmares of it. I’ve never imagined my life will be finally free until I felt as his final stroke landed on my back and he uttered the words that set me free. I can’t begin to describe to you how I felt then, but just imagine it as hell, Dr.”
“Do you need a shoulder to cry on?” He asked as he set his feet into the water and Aisha nodded head before she placed her head on his shoulder and she cried her eyes out. He was silent as she cried while her head rested on his shoulder and the evening wind softly whirl around them in an attempt to soothe their aching hearts.
❃
Aisha heard his voice from her room, she had been hiding in the room ever since she had her breakfast. Mama knew what she was going through that’s why she didn’t ask her to come out and Nasir too didn’t come into her room, they all knew she needed some time alone. And now that she heard his voice in the living room as he conversed with Mama and Nasir, she felt a feeling of deja vu. It was as though she was still in Taraba and his voice she was hearing was an echo coming from the balcony as he conversed with Nuriyya.
She heard as Mama cleared her voice and asked him, “Abba, for the last time, where is Aisha? I’m fed up with all your excuses about Aisha. Call her right now and ask her to get ready I’ll send a driver tomorrow to get her back home.”
She heard as he heaved a sigh and told her all he did to her, she was beyond shocked. And hearing all the tortures she went through from his lips was even more painful than reminiscing it herself. He was calm as he spoke, telling everything he did to Aisha. Aisha was sure his voice was brimful of remorse and she had never heard him sounded that way, not even when he did something to Nuriyya and he was apologizing.
She heard Mama’s constant gasps and when he told them about his last encounter with Aisha and how he divorced her and left her lying there unconscious. Mama stood up and asked him, “You’ve been telling me how much of a monster you have become, but I can’t remember you answering the most important question; where is Aisha?”
“Mama, I don’t know where she is. But I promise you I’ll find her and bring her back. Please, Mama, you need to understand me. Wallahi I paid the price of what I did to Aisha.” And he told her all his encounters with Humaira, instead of Mama to reveal out her shock her terror, she slapped him hard across his cheek.
“You’re a terrible liar, Abba. Which of the Aisha’s are you talking about? The one that came back to Bauchi a few days after you brutally violated her and divorced? The Aisha that has been living with me after the third month of being divorce? Or you have two Aisha’s in your monstrous thoughts?!” Mama thundered, staring at him as she fumed in rage.
“Mama you have to believe me, I was together with Aisha even yesterday. She can’t be here!” Mama slapped him again and walked to Aisha’s room.
The moment Aisha heard her doorknob being turned and she came in contact with a fuming Mama, she shuddered. “Don’t worry, Aisha. You’re safe.” She spoke softly and held her wrist before she guided her out of the room.
Aisha felt her knees trying to betray her as they broke and went south as she set her eyes on him before Mama pulled her to her body and she walked her past a stupefied and flustered Abba until she made her sat down on the sofa Nasir was seated and she pointed at a shivering Aisha. “Tell me, is this the Aisha you saw in Taraba or you mistook her for one of your slutish girlfriends?”
Abba wasn’t hearing a word out of what Mama had uttered. He was looking at Aisha with eyes bulged like saucers and his heart that was beating at an unhealthy rate. “Humaira,” he slurred, afraid she was going to vent out on him the moment he called her Aisha.
She looked up and she could swear she felt as her heart somersaulted her throat. Putting up so much bravado, Aisha grimaced her face and shook her head at him, “That’s not my name, I’m Aisha. You can’t call me that.” Even though how she felt like running out through the main entrance and hide away from Abba for eternity she could never allow someone to call her Humaira.
He looked taken aback, the way she spoke; she was Humaira and wait, wherever it is, she was his ex-wife! “You can’t tell me not to call you that, Humaira. You said I shouldn’t call you Aisha and now you won’t allow me to call you Humaira? What exactly do you mean?” As he took steps towards her, Aisha stood up and began taking steps backwards.
“I wasn’t the one that asks you to call me that, please you should leave my life alone. Please I’m begging you. You can’t always be accusing me of something I do not know of.” She was in tears now, and Abba kept walking towards her and she was backing away until she had her back on the wall.
“Humaira, if you said you don’t remember me back then, I’m sure now you would. How were you able to come back home? I asked you and you said your only home is in Taraba. I told you I know you’re Aisha, you’re just trying to be Humaira while you’re still the same person.” He lifted his hand to touch her face when Nasir swiftly got in between them. He took a hold of Aisha’s wrist and softly pushed her aside before he looked at Abba.
“Talk in a sensible manner, Abba. This is Aisha, not some Humaira you’re talking about.” Nasir’s bloodshot eyes were fixed intently on his face.
Abba shook his head as he stared at a crying Aisha, “I’m sure she was the one. Get out of my way, Nasir.”
The next thing they heard was a striking slap on Abba’s cheek as Mama looked at him, infuriately. “Get a hold of yourself and act like a responsible person. Or are you into drugs now?!”