Sheena
Many times, I accidentally hurt the workers around my huge mansion. They might think I am a reckless young lady, which is exactly what I think to myself. But aside from everything, I am very grateful because they understood me, and they did not leave me alone in this huge mansion. Though they don't know the reason why I am doing things that they never saw before. Amara had also told me that maybe I was just doing this because I had not moved from the death of my parents. Well, everything has happened and it cannot be retrieved. It defends on them if they rationalize the things that are just happening.
Sitting alone on the stairs, often looking at the paintings that are hanging on the hard wall, putting my hands on my knees, sometimes inside the pocket of my parka. I had been remembering and thinking about my mother when something suddenly showed up. So unlucky, it was the pinkish cloud again. I knew that it wanted to absorb and grind my whole body again. But maybe I am still lucky because my memories were not erased after it brought me to the other place that I don't even know.
Maybe there is still a little luck left in me, because instead of the pinkish cloud that was supposed to absorb me, it did not. I suddenly stood up and looked straight ahead when it entered my nose and mouth for some reason that I don't know. I seemed to be swallowing water, and it was creeping down through every vein in my body. But this time I'm not losing consciousness, and I can still breathe, though there is something that is creeping in my veins. Something that may be replacing my blood with a gas, a pinkish gas.
G*ddammit! I am not so lucky. My whole body slowly stiffened; my fingers, my hands, my arms, my legs and so on. This time, I can't control some part of my own body. I don't know what was happening, but I can only think, see, hear and I can feel. It is very uncomfortable for me because I cannot even move my own legs. Every vein or part of my body seemed to have its own brain; thus, it could work without the order of my brain.
"Help!" I screamed in my brain. Trying to stop myself from moving, but I can't. Feeling hard, but I can't even show an expression on my face.
My legs slowly brought me outside the mansion and I continued walking towards the gate. I wanted to go back inside the mansion because it was cold and there were big nuggets of snow that were falling outside, and not only that, but there was also falling sleet. But can I do nothing because my inference was proven to be correct, that I sometimes lose control of my own body? It became terrible because I was thinking that it was just my hand that I could not control, but now it seems that I cannot control my whole body.
I was walking outside the gate when the two guards saw me. They are wearing a thick, white shirt, black long pants, and cork-soled boots. I am now outside the gate and the guards are also walking towards me.
"Miss beautiful, what are you doing here?"
"You should not be here, because the weather is cold, and you might be struck by the falling sleet."
"Please help me!" I screamed in my brain. Maybe I seemed to be a zombie because I was not looking at their faces, instead I was just looking downward.
But instead of asking the help of the guards, my foot kicked one of them that made him bounce higher. The other guard saw what happened. His eyes turned big and he suddenly ran towards the door of the mansion.
While the guard, who had bounced several feet from the snow, was now crawling on the thick, cold ice going towards the piles of snow, and ahead was the gate of the mansion. My feet won't stop walking. I am going towards the guard. My foot was placed on the back of the guard with a five-pound boot, and I could tell he was hurt because it was heavy. The pitiable guard tried to move, but he could not.
"Miss Sheena, please stop this!" he screamed. "I am so sorry, Miss Sheena. Please forgive me if there's something wrong that I did to you. Please let me go. Ahh! It's so painful!" The oil from his eyes was falling while he was glancing at me, and the muscles of his face flexed as he clenched his teeth. I was the one who felt sorry for him, because I knew that he was not doing anything wrong to me and that he was just worried about me.
Instead of assisting the guard, my feet stepped on his back with such force that the guards collapsed on the piled snow. His face was buried in the snow, and his hands were both clasped together, as if he was straining to avoid the death that was smiling at him. Jumped on the back of the guard and made him totally buried in the snow. Now, the snow covered the heinous crime that I or my body committed, but I know that however the dead body drowned in the pile of snow, it will float someday.
"I am not a killer!" was another word that crossed my brain.
The words that the girl said to me many days ago came back to my mind. "You killed him! You killed him! You are a killer!" The cool breeze was screaming in my ears.
"Where is she?" Amara asked while going outside the mansion.
"She was there, I cannot believe that she kicked one of the guards here, how merciless she was."
"I don't believe that she will just kick the guard without any reason," Amara said while going outside the gate.
I am afraid that I will also kill them. I know that my body will not follow me, because it is so selfish that it will only follow what it wants to. Until I noticed that there was a liquid coming out of my eyes and dripping down on the pile of snow. They are still lucky because I can now control myself and everything seems to be coming back to its normal condition. I'm more comfortable.
It was so glum because I had lost another life. I know that what I did was a big sin and I don't know how to escape from the scourge of my conscience. I could do nothing but wipe the tears that had diffused on my face with the tip of my parka.
"Oh Sheena, where is the man that he said you had been kicking?" Amara asked, dubiously. "Tell us why you killed, nay, kicked him."
I do not know what to say. I don't want to look merciless in the eyes of other people. I don't want to be hated by the people around me, and most of all, I don't want to be a prisoner. So I did not tell them anything about what happened to the guard.
"Amara, maybe he already run away because of fear." The guard slowly scratched his hair. "Hahahaha." He chuckled.
"Hey, can you stop bragging, even just for a while? Have you forgotten that you were running towards me just a while ago? So stop the crap because it is a serious thing."
"The guard is right. He ran because he was thinking that I would do something wrong to him. Maybe he was thinking that I might kick him."
"Look Amara, there is nothing to worry about," he said. He seemed curious and he was just hiding his real expression.
"But why did you tell me that Sheena had kicked off the guard?" Amara said, dubiously.
The guard lulled while looking at my eyes. Maybe he is ashamed of bringing me down, or he is afraid that I might kick him too if he made me embarrassed. So he just avoided my eyes, looked at his boots, and stayed quiet for another while (to think about what to say).
"If you don't want to answer me, then it will be better if I go inside because I still have many chores to do," Amara said. She turned back and stepped on the thick, piled snow.
"Wait! Amara, I will tell you the truth now," the guard replied.
"Then tell me directly, because there are many things that are waiting for me inside the mansion."
"The truth is... miss... miss Sheena, really kicked the guard that made him bounce higher and plummeted against the thick ice."
What kind of worker is he that he can put down everyone, even his boss? He was really not thinking about what I could do. He was not thinking that I could remove him from his work here. He does not know that I am just kind to those who are kind and I am also cruel to those who are cruel. But I know that I cannot blame him because it was all my fault and the guard was just telling the truth.
I am still thankful to the only person, Amara Spicy, who I trust and consider my sister; the woman who can understand anything and the woman who cares about me, though sometimes I am stubborn. I am grateful because she does not believe the words of the guard who only wants to destroy our good partnership.
Maybe Amara believes that I cannot hurt someone without any clear reason. She is right, because it was not me who hurt the people around the mansion, but the pinkish cloud that came from the ugly woman. Well, I don't have any problems with the guard anymore because I already fired him without doubt. I am not so cruel that I will just let him go without giving him his salary. I am also kind to those poor people like him. I am not totally angry with him because, even though he was just poor, he won't lie to anybody. Therefore, I gave him money so that he could start a new business and would not show his face to me again. There are just two things that he can do: keep silent or report to the police about what I did. But I knew that he could not do it. I am not underestimating him, but he was so weak and seemed to choose to keep silent rather than wrangle with me. I am quite sure that I cannot be imprisoned as long as the guard does not have any evidence about the crime.
These days, I am afraid to sleep alone in my bedroom, and I am afraid to use the bathroom. I am afraid to go outside, especially at night, and I am afraid to be alone because I know the pinkish cloud will appear out of nowhere in front of me. I am afraid because there is nothing that I can do to fight against the dark magic.
Everything seemed unavoidable. I could not avoid going upstairs and not sleeping in my bedroom. I am a princess and I don't want to sleep in the room where the maids and servants are resting. Maybe it's better to fight the cowardness and face the trials. I knew that the ordeal would only end if I faced it.
Taking the concrete glossy floor, going towards the library of the mansion and listening to my heavy footsteps that seemed to be telling me to go back. But nothing to worry about or be scared about. I know that there are many guards and servants near the library. I don't care if the pinkish cloud appears and I do something wrong again. As long as I am alive, there is nothing to worry about.
I know that I don't want to feel sorry for the other people because I am not doing anything wrong to them. I'd better fight to survive and be terrified of anything that might happen. I know that nothing is permanent, and everything will be alright, as this problem is just temporary.
The library's dimness is a bit surprising; the drapes had been drawn against the glaring outside light and no lamps had been turned on. A fire leapt in the stone fireplace, sending dancing light around the room. I did not close the door so that if something happened, I could just quickly run outside. But though the door was open, it was still dim inside.
The room was lined with shelves housing thousands of books. In the center stood a heavy refectory table strewn with the books that I had started to read the last time I visited here. There is also a sofa facing the fireplace, and its silhouette can be seen on the glossy floor.
I went towards the table and sat down on the upholstered chair beside it. As usual, the librarian does not touch the books that I have read and did not fix them. Otherwise, she would surely waste her time searching for the book for me.
Slowly my eyes adjusted to the dusky gloom. Conscious of the movement, a shadow, really, beyond the back of the sofa. So I stand up and go towards it to check if anyone was there. Well, nothing to worry about. He was just a boy that may have been around the same age as me. But I know that he is not a servant, because I can recognize the people that are working around the mansion.
The boy seemed innocent. He is wearing a v-necked velour shirt and tight-fitting navy pants and is barefoot. His face seemed familiar, but I can't remember who he was. He was handsome; he had a high nose, brown eyes, and brown skin. A thick, unruly thatch of black hair lay above his high forehead with one stray lock falling forward. He's just a little taller than me.
"Who are you?" I asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Hey Sheena, it's me, your playmate from when we were kids," he said. He hurriedly stood up from the sofa, his face filled with happiness, and he winked at me.
"Do I have a playmate? Why cannot I remember you?"
"Maybe because we were just little at that time, you know."
"But I don't know you. Can you tell me anything that could make me remember you?"
"We knew each other for a long time. How can you forget me so easily?" He queried.
"Just tell me, else I will kick you there," I said in a mad manner.
"Oh! You are so brave now. Before, you just relied on me when there was someone who intended to hurt you."
He went towards me and looked at my eyes. I can see the flirty smile on his face. I can tell that he was handsome, but I am not easy to please. I had promised myself that I would never trust anyone that I had just met. I must not trust this boy because he will just cause me pain. So I removed myself from his front and went towards the upholstered chair beside the table.
"Have you remembered me?" he asked again.
"How can I remember you if you did not even tell me your name?"
I felt uncomfortable that he knew who I was, but in contrast, I did not even know who he was. Does he have a plan to introduce himself? Or will he just force himself to admit that he was my playmate when I was younger? Is it possible that I had amnesia and am now unable to recall what happened? Many thoughts raced through my mind, including, "What kind of girl am I that I can forget my past so easily?"
"Sheena Breaks, I am Nick, your playmate when we are both young."
"Nick? I have not heard that name before. Can you tell me more about yourself?" I asked and then smiled at him.
"I am living in another town far from here. That's why I cannot find an opportunity to say hello to you. When I was younger, I was always here because your parents sometimes invited me to come here. You know—your parents and my parents are business partners."
Quiet suddenly appeared in the library room after Nick said those words. Maybe he did not know what happened to my parents, or maybe he did know and he also meant to hurt me.
"You are lulled... Did I say something that made you feel sad?"
"No, I just remembered my parents." I sighed and shrugged.
"Oh sorry, I had heard what happened to your parents, and my mother had also told me about it, and I did not mean to mention it."
"That is just okay, but can you tell me what are you doing here, inside the library? And you were also lying on the sofa just a while ago. That made me think that you had memorized the complex here."
"Even though I am just six years old when I am always here, I won't forget the view around your mansion. I also cannot forget your appearance and that beautiful face that was always showing to me in my dreams," he said, then show his flirty smiled.
"One of the guards told me that you were inside the library. That's why I went here. You are not here, and you know—I am ashamed to enter your mansion without any permission. That's why I just laid down on that sofa."