Chapter 20

When I looked up, Jasper was looking at me with one eyebrow raised, as confused as I was. He has a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth and he was holding three of the paper bags in one arm and was reaching out for the cookies when his forearm accidentally touched mine.

“What was that?” I asked, out of breath. “Do you have pins for body hair or what?”

“What?”

I examined his appendage but saw nothing that could explain the pinpricks. He did the same, then shifted his gaze back to me.

“Nevermind,” I said dismissively. I looked at the goody bags he was filling with food. “You’re not keeping those for yourself, are you?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not.”

I was not convinced, but all right. I noticed he was faster than me, so I let him fill the bags while I sealed them with cute little bows. When he was finished, he neatly stacked the empty metal trays in one spot before going ahead and helping me. I wanted to laugh at his pathetic little bows.

“Don’t you know how to tie a ribbon?” He’s destroying my aesthetic. “Isn’t that one of the first things kids learn to do?”

“I didn’t get to learn how to. All my shoes have zippers,” he said sarcastically. “How about you? Are you going to the orphanage looking like that?”

“Looking like what?” I immediately touched my hair, feeling insecure.

“A mess. You’re covered in flour. Go take a shower. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Why are you helping me?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I have nothing else to do.”

Hmm, fair enough.

“I didn’t ask you to do this, so I’m not going to thank you,” I said as I was walking away.

“I know.”

“If you can get those bows right, that would be fantastic.”

“Okay, mom,” he said, exasperated.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll be right back!”

“Hey.” I turned to look at him when he spoke again. “You owe me lunch.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just left and went to my dorms. Because of Jasper, I had time to be the best version of myself. Before leaving the dorms, I showered, curled my hair, and put on light makeup. I wore a tulle baby blue knee-length dress with matching high-heeled pumps. I looked super cute. When I returned, Jasper was already assisting a Royal Household officer in loading the goody bags into my service car. He didn’t even look at me, which irritated me a little, but my assigned butler did greet me. When they were finished, the Lycan rode shotgun, and I sat in the back seat. They were laughing and teasing each other as they talked. They must have a long history together.

Everything was fine, and I was starting to enjoy the ride when suddenly the car stopped and Clifford announced that we’d reached Mother’s Love Orphanage. As soon as he opened the door for me, I heard screaming. And laughter. And children. Ugh.

“Not a fan of kids?” Jasper asked while looking at the huge building beside me.

“Children make my skin crawl,” I admitted. “Not a fan is a bit of an understatement.”

“Well, they can be vicious at times, but once you get to know them, they’re great, especially the kids from here; all they want is to be loved and taken seriously, you know?”

“I don’t care.”

“At the very least, act as if you do. You baked those things from scratch to get into her good graces, right? You want Aunt Camilla to like you? This is the path to her heart.”

He got me there.

“Come on.” He tapped me on the shoulder like I’m one of his bros. “Put your game face on.”

I followed his gaze and noticed a crowd approaching us. Women in white dresses and veils, which I thought were ridiculous because they were dealing with children.

“Princess Selina, thank you for coming,” an old woman said as they stopped in front of me. “I am Lady Brackenbelle, the proprietress, and these are my assistants, Josephine and Maybelle. And Lucilla and Regina. Welcome to Mother’s Love.”

“Hello, nice to meet you,” I said, smiling brightly. “I’ve heard of the selfless work you all do here. I’m looking forward to meeting the children.”

Pfft...

When I glanced up at Jasper, he had his hand over his mouth, but I could definitely hear him laugh. I ignored him as he turned away from me.

“Your Grace, is there something funny?” the old woman scowled at Jasper and he immediately stopped laughing. I smirked at him. “I suppose you’re here in place of His Majesty.”

“Yup,” Jasper said. “Henry’s busy with... other things. Anyway, is Aunt Camilla here?”

“Yes. The empress is already inside with the young ones. Come, follow me.”

“Uhm, I brought gifts,” I said. “They’re not much but...”

“The sisters will help the duke carry that inside. Come, Her Imperial Majesty is waiting for us.”

I followed the old woman, while Jasper stayed behind with the young ones, whom he appeared to know well because he was already joking and laughing with them.

I scoffed. Bridgette was correct; Jasper would flirt with anything that wore a skirt. Even those who were religious.

We went inside the building, and the old lady gave me a tour before taking me to a floor that was as silent as a tomb. I gasped when she opened the door to one of the rooms and saw what was inside.

There were at least 30 cribs, each one had a baby in various stages of infancy. Some of them were asleep, most were awake but weren’t making any noise. I found my future mother-in-law in one of the corners of the room, in a rocking chair, holding one of the infants, humming to herself.

Without a word, Lady Brackenbelle gave me an infant to hold and left the room.

“Ah, Selina, you’re here,” Camilla said when she noticed me walking towards her. “Cute little things, aren’t they?”

“What? Uhm, yeah.” I looked down at the infant in my arms. It resembled a tiny old man. The one in her arms looked like a wrinkled knee. Not cute at all. “They’re very behave. It’s amazing.”

Camilla nodded sadly, but before I could ask her what was wrong, I felt something wet in my stomach. It smelled repulsive. I instantly pulled away.

“What the—” The baby peed and pooped on itself and on my dress. “Oh my gods, are you serious?”

“The cleaning station is over there,” Camilla said, pointing to a table in another corner.

I stopped myself from rumbling and went to work. Knowing the empress was watching, I cleaned and changed the infant as efficiently and as quickly as possible.

“There you go,” I said, hoping the older woman didn’t notice my saccharine tone. “You’re such a good girl, aren’t you, all cleaned up?”

“Give her to me.” Camilla held out her hands, and I noticed she was no longer carrying the baby she was holding a while ago. “That child must be hungry.”

“I don’t think she’s—” I looked down and noticed the baby’s clenched fists. “Oh. I think you’re right.”

I handed the little girl over and my future mother-in-law fed her with formula.

“Can you check the other ones as well?”

“Of course.” My smile was tight on my face.

When they invited me, I expected to feed the older kids, play with them, and take photos for the commoners to enjoy. Not changing every cr*tch goblin’s filthy diaper!

But there I was, inspecting every crib for leaks and touching babies’ bums to see if they needed to be changed. Almost all of them were in desperate need of it. Also, almost all of them have rashes, some of which are worse than the rest because they were bleeding.

“Poor things,” I remarked as I held a small child. I assisted Camilla with feeding them. The sisters came to help us a little while ago, after I had finished cleaning up the babies, which irritated me greatly.

“Did you notice anything interesting?” Camilla’s expression was solemn and sorrowful.

“Yes, uhm...” I looked around, and now that there were more of us, the deafening silence in the room was even more apparent. “They’re all... so quiet.”

And it’s not because they lack a voice. When I washed and treated the children whose rashes bled, they cried in agony, but not in a loud way. Those cries were quieter than normal. Nobody else followed suit, which was unusual for nurseries full of babies. Even stranger, I didn’t need anything to make them stop crying. They self-soothed and stopped on their own.

“It’s because they learned that no one is coming for them,” Camilla said as her voice broke and she sobbed into her gloved hand. “Because they had been abused and neglected in previous homes, they learned to self-soothe and...”

“How horrible...” To say I was taken aback would be an understatement. I wasn’t particularly fond of children, but I know that when a baby was orphaned and separated from its mother, it was their first trauma. The amount of neglect and crying these infants, as young as two weeks old, had to endure before they stopped trusting and seeking help from others was... extremely disturbing. “People who abandon their children are the worst.”

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