Chapter 35 ThirtyFive
JACE
Tuesday morning hit like a muted drum. The hallways smelled of floor cleaner, cheap perfume, and teenage sweat. I moved through it like a shadow, all senses alert, but trying not to look like I cared too much. I did care. Always too much. Cass. She was everywhere in my head, even when I told myself to shut it off. Her laugh, that flicker of stubborn fire in her eyes, the way she stood straight even when the world seemed intent on knocking her down it haunted me.
My locker opened with a soft click, and I caught sight of two girls whispering, a folded note passing between them like contraband. Drama. I should ignore it, but I glanced anyway. They were arguing over a rumor, someone cheating on someone else, another boy getting caught flirting, a girl storming off before anyone could respond. Everyone’s chaos collided into a massive, invisible storm that only high school could generate. And I realized I was exhausted by it, even though it wasn’t mine.
Then my eyes found her. Cass. Lena trailing beside her like a little sunbeam. She didn’t see me yet. Her hair fell across her cheek as she turned to laugh at something Lena said, and I felt my chest tighten. Every instinct in me wanted to step forward, to shield her, to make sure she didn’t feel that knife-sharp tension that always seemed to follow her. But I didn’t. I stayed tucked in my corner, quiet, observant. Always observant.
Marvin, as usual, was a storm waiting to break. He was laughing at something his friends said, Jacinta draped over his arm like a trophy, and I felt a familiar anger rise not just for the way he treated people, but for how easily he seemed to slip through the world, untouchable. I clenched my jaw. Some part of me wished I could wipe that smug look off his face, make him feel the weight of the chaos he caused, make him see that not everyone bowed.
School dragged. Each class felt like wading through mud. Teachers droned, students whispered, and I could feel Cass’ energy pulsing just below my awareness. She didn’t need me in every moment, I knew that, but there were times when I caught myself wishing I could reach across the room, grab her hand, and tell her, without words, that she wasn’t alone.
During lunch, the cafeteria became a living organism. Students argued, laughed, whispered. I saw Harper again, red-faced and furious at someone another cheating scandal, apparently. Ethan and Mia were still arguing, their voices carrying like a storm cloud over the room. I wanted to tune it all out, but every high-pitched squeal, every stifled laugh, every eye rolling made me realize that the world was messy, unbearably messy, and I was right in the middle of it, standing quietly while it swirled around us.
And then I saw her. Cass, finally seated with Lena, her expression guarded but alive. Lena’s hand brushed against hers, making Cass laugh softly. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until the sound escaped me in a quiet exhale. My chest felt tight. Dangerous tight. I hated that she had this effect on me, hated that I couldn’t push it away, hated that I didn’t want to.
At that moment, my phone buzzed. A text from my dad, asking about Marvin’s temper yesterday. My stomach sank. I typed a quick response: Handled it. I didn’t need to explain. I didn’t want to. Marvin’s chaos was a constant, a storm I had grown used to navigating silently. My anger, my frustration, my care for Cass it all pooled together in a quiet rage I didn’t show anyone.
After lunch, I moved through the hallways, eyes scanning, senses alert. I noticed students whispering near the art room. A fight had broken out over a rumor about cheating. One of the girls tripped, a desk toppled. People shouted, and I felt that same hollow awareness that high school wasn’t safe for anyone, not really. Not even me.
I caught a glimpse of Cass in the distance, looking slightly tense. Lena was still by her side, and I felt relief. She had people now. People willing to stand in the fire with her. But the thought of someone hurting her anyway made my chest ache. I hated feeling helpless, hated that the storm in my head didn’t stop just because I could move around quietly.
By the time school ended, Marvin was once again simmering, Jacinta trailing behind him like a shadow. I walked past them, shoulders squared, ignoring the simmering hostility. Marvin wanted a reaction. He would get none from me. But inside, I carried a thousand tiny explosions of frustration, of worry, of care for Cass that no one would ever understand.
At home, the house was quiet, almost too quiet. Marvin was in his room, slamming drawers, muttering. My dad wasn’t around, and I didn’t miss him. I stayed in the kitchen, sipping milk, thinking about Cass, about Lena, about the cafeteria, about the way the world seemed intent on spinning faster than we could handle.
And then I thought about her. About her smile. About how she had laughed yesterday at the small chaos we had walked through. About the tiny flickers of strength she didn’t even realize she had. About the way my heart had jumped every time she looked my way.
I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know if I could let anyone see it. But I couldn’t stop it. The way she made me feel quiet, protective, helpless, alive it was too much. And yet, I didn’t want to run from it.
The night stretched on. I stayed awake longer than usual, staring at the ceiling. The chaos of the week, the high school drama, the cheating rumors, the fights, Marvin’s storms, Cass’s small victories they all collided into a single, unrelenting feeling I couldn’t shake.
I was falling for her.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.