CHAPTER 12

“His body has arrived,” Antonio whispered into Lisa’s ear.

“Is Reuben here now?” she asked in reply.

“Not yet.” Antonio cut in, walking away slowly.

89th Rosenberg Street was the address of the only church in the small quiet town; Lisa had wanted it to be a quiet ceremony filled with family members and some old friends but she had forgotten how much of a celebrity Reuben was. There were already magazines covering the incident earlier in the week; the story was all over social media, and everyone seemed to have a contrary opinion, every blog with a slightly different story from the next. Gossip Girls Magazine reported that Elisabeth and Shane decided to have a showdown to end the struggle for Reuben once and for all; Eden News insisted that Elisabeth had managed to frame Shane in a bid to claim Reuben by all means. Everywhere Elisabeth looked, it was one disgusting story or another and she hated the drama and attention but she wasn’t going to let it piss her off. She was learning to handle fame now.

The front of the church was already filled with various news reporters, gossip blog presenters and people of different classes as well as status. Elisabeth had agreed to let Reuben invite his friends and well-meaning business partners to the service of songs. She thought it would be okay for everyone to be happy. Some elderly women from her mother’s dance class were in attendance too and everyone was kind enough to put on a black attire with no one faulting in the regard. Elisabeth was satisfied; she was thrilled to see how far she had come from the last eight years. The divorce left a piece of her hurting, that part of her that she tried so hard to seal off by forcing Umber to fill the vacuum. Next, she lost Umber and the vacuum increased, for four years, she was unsatisfied and bitter; she could have done well focusing on her family who loved her through everything but she was too hurt to see it. She isolated herself from everything and everyone; acting as a weapon that was about to self-destruct. She then lost her brother and that was when she realized that she had family all this while, backing her, needing her; trying so hard to be one with her and all she had ever done was push them away and ignore them because she was in so much pain but she didn’t realize that she was hurting herself and everyone around. It was surprising that it just took a couple of days for her to see the truth, to realize the joy of friendship and of family. It wasn’t as hard as she thought and life began to seem like a garden again.

“Hi Liz.” Reuben walked up to her and covered her in his arms.

“Hey” she responded sweetly, wearing a bright smile. Reuben thought that was the brightest he had seen her smile.

“I’m sorry about the press pack—”

“It’s alright. That’s your identity now and I am cool with it.” She interrupted still wearing a charming smile.

“Really?” he asked with so much surprise in his voice.

“Really.” She replied laughing.

“We have five minutes to begin the service, where is everyone?” he asked looking around.

“Do you mean the officiating pastor?” she asked in reply knowing how Reuben speaks about things and how indirect he could be.

“Yes, yes.” He nodded in affirmation and they both began to laugh.

“He should be here soon. I called him already. Umber’s body seems to have arrived on the premises. I am too chicken to go look; would you do the honors?” she requested as she look away for fear of seeing an expression of scorn on his face.

“Scaredy cat, you are the mother.” He responded laughing, “How did they manage to get his remains?” he asked a little surprised.

“I am not sure. Something about digging out the earth from where she had buried him.” She replied looking back at him.

“Shane needs to see a psychiatrist.” He added in disgust.

“No, she needs to go to prison; we are not going to have this argument.” She responded.

“That’s fair enough. So let’s go outside together, no?” he asked, stretching his hand so she could place her hand in his.

“Look who is here.” She diverted the conversation as they saw the pastor walking up to them briskly.

“Hello. You two have aged so gracefully.”

“Hello Pastor Jim.” They responded in unison, laughing as they did.

Pastor Jim was an elderly black man, in his late sixties. He had a full grey hair on his head but his moustache was the only facial hair he had and they were scanty. He had officiated Reuben and Lisa’s wedding and was now officiating Umber and Linn’s service of songs. He was also a divorcee; he had been married twice. His first wife had died due to complications during her pregnancy, he lost the baby too. He remarried years later but his second wife absconded with her Mexican lover and so he served her the divorce papers and remained single ever since.

Everyone slowly began to walk into the church; the church was filled to its capacity but more people continued to troop in; Elisabeth was pleasantly surprised to see some of Linn’s friends from college, they had flown in to attend the service of songs. The pianist struck a cord and the choir began to render a soul swaying hymn on the chord:

“When peace like a river attends my way, When sorrows like sea billows row, Whatever my lot, you have taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul.

It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

Elisabeth listened closely as she held Reuben’s hand whilst they sat in the front row, her mother walked in and sat by Reuben. She smiled at her and turned her eyes to the far end of the corner where she saw that Antonio was seated. He was singing along wholeheartedly. Elisabeth smiled and casted her attention back to the choir; they wore hope on their vibrant faces. She knew some of the faces standing up there, they were present during her wedding.

The hollow church looked the same; there were barely any changes save for the new windowpanes and instruments. The long wooden bench were the same old ones that Elisabeth sat on during her wedding. The church was so quiet save for the melody that reverberated its walls, emanating from the choir. Elisabeth remembered how it was when she was a kid, she loved going to the church with her father back in Spain; she would sing along and dance and read some verses out of the holy book so wholeheartedly but she had lost that now. She hoped to pick it up again. Her mind was lost; she could see the choir move back to their seats slowly as the officiating pastor walked to the pulpit and began to deliver a sermon but she could not make out what he was saying because she was lost in thoughts. She stared at the two caskets that stood on the table right in front of them; in one laid the body of her brother, Linn and in the other laid the remains of her son, Umber. She was numb to the pain already and she had accepted her fate; she had no power over these things and she had given up fighting them.

“From dust we came and to dust we will return; May the Lord accept these souls into his bosom.” Pastor Jim prayed peacefully and everyone echoed “Amen”

One after the other, everyone stepped out and begin to deliver their eulogy. It was a dark moment for Elisabeth, the realization of the reality of these deaths dawned on her.

“Elisabeth, would you like to say anything about your brother?” she heard Pastor Jim’s voice beckoning to her and she became instantly reminded of when he had asked her to say her vows. Wasn’t it surreal how the same walls that witnessed her get married to Reuben and saw her smile was now witnessing her grief?

She walked up the pulpit with difficultly and cleared her throat, forcing on a deceptive smile. She heard a few murmurs and could see so many eyes cast on her; she summoned the courage and begun:

“Linn wasn’t just my brother; he stepped in as my father after the death of my father. As a little boy, Linn always wanted to protect me, he would step in to stop bullies from hurting me sometimes and he would follow me everywhere. When we grew older, we were no longer as close but Linn never left me alone; he would stalk me, apologize when he was wrong and seek to mend our relationship every time. He was my son’s uncle and a great one at that; he was my first shot at true love and the most annoying little brother ever but he was the best one I could ever ask for and I pray his soul rests.” She concluded, lifting her head to see some people wiping tears off of their faces and smiling. Her mother was smiling through the tears too. She nodded her head as Elisabeth walked down the pulpit and back to where Reuben was seated.

Reuben rose to his feet and drew Elisabeth into his arms, hugging her tightly. She began to sob uncontrollably as the pianist chord struck again and the choir filled the church with another soul swaying hymn:

“Share a little bit of love and kindness.

Never go along with hatred’s blindness.

Take a little time to reach for joy and wear a happy face.

Sing a little bit when the days are dreary.

Give a little help to a friend who is weary.

That’s the way to make the world a happy place.”

The hymn sounded indistinct to Elisabeth as she stepped outside the church and towards the entrance with Reuben. She had stopped crying, but she needed to get some air. Her head had already begun to throb.

“You are alright Lisa.” Reuben reiterated, holding her hand.

“I know I am. These tears do wonders.” She replied, laughing through the pain.

“What do you want to do after this, going forward?” he asked her, trying to take her mind off the current situation.

“I want to start up an art gallery somewhere in Spain.” She replied waiting to see his reaction.

“Do you mean that?” he asked wide-eyed.

“Yes, I mean that.” She began to laugh as she saw how shocked he was.

“Well, where could that be coming from?” he asked still amazed.

“Don’t you think it is a good idea?” she asked reserving some uncertainty.

“I think it is the most amazing idea I have heard in a long while. You have the best eyes for art and I do believe you could get the most amazing artistes to come display at your gallery. That’s a perfect one right there.” He explained joyfully.

“I knew it.” She muttered, smiling.

“How long have you been nursing this, Liz?” he asked her still intrigued by her decision.

“It has been for a while but I allowed the fear of failure and the hurt in my head and heart hold me back all through the months and years of nursing this idea. Now I say no more.” She laughed.

“That’s amazing Lisa.” He reiterated.

“Thank you, Reuben. I’m sorry that I was too hard on you sometimes, and I understand why you would want to pursue success so that you could give me and Umber a life of comfort. You are a good man and you deserve all the success and these good things coming your way, I am so proud of you and I think the celebrity life suits you well," she said, looking down at her shoes a couple of times as she felt out of place.

Reuben was surprised to hear her say that. He stared her endlessly and smiled as her gaze caught his own, then he leaned in and kissed her deeply.

“Travel around the world with me Elisabeth. I want to show you the extent of my love in every part of the world, I want to adorn you with all the finest things of life and show the world the woman that made me everything that I am. I want every headline to read your name in capitals and I want the world to call you queen. I have never stopped loving you and I can never stop loving you; be my queen and travel the world with me Lisa.” His eyes were burning brightly as he spoke and the words flowed seamlessly from his lips. Elisabeth knew that this was genuine; she had always wanted to travel the world with Reuben, it had been her greatest desires even when they had no money and couldn’t afford to, it would intrigue her so much when she thought of it and she dreamt of it day and night. Here it was in front of her, on a platter; time was really the revealer of all things and time was also a mocker like strong wine.

“That’s amazing Reuben”; she started slowly, trying not to prick a delicate area, “but I cannot, I am sorry.” She concluded looking at him dead in the eyes and feeling as though she just stabbed him with a kitchen knife, straight to the heart.

“Why?” he asked her, surprise written all over his face.

“I need time to discover myself once again; I want to do the things I really love and give in to the beauty of life.”

“Traveling the world was one of the things you really wanted to do Liz.” He could not understand her refusal.

“Time changes everyone Reuben. Let’s go inside.” She responded walking away slowly, leaving him behind to ponder on her last words.

By the time they got to their seats, her mother was on the pulpit talking about Linn and Umber. The church was as quiet as a graveyard as the choir had stopped singing. Everyone’s glazes were on her mother. Even the press pack seemed to have gone soft. They were all seated at the back of the church, listening to all she had to say with rapt attention. Elisabeth looked over at the corner where Antonio should have been seated but she could not find him anywhere; she was curious as to where he might have gone. She tried to scan the big church with her eyes, it was nearly impossible to do that but she was certain that he was not in the church either. She moved her body close to Reuben, leaned in and whispered as quietly as she possibly could, “Excuse me.”

As she walked down the hallway that led outside the church, she searched every aisle with her eyes but there was still no sign of him and she became sore afraid. She began to hasten her steps towards the entrance; only slowing down when she saw him in the distance, his phone against his ear.

“Gracias” he said with a relaxed tone as the line went dead. He turned around and was taken aback to see her there.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked her, his phone slowly sliding into his pocket.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in reply.

“I asked first though” he said, laughing softly.

“I don’t care. I was about to ask; I didn’t see you seated in church so I came looking for you.” She explained.

“I had to take a phone call and I couldn’t do that in church. Long story short, the diner is now mine.” He narrated as he waited for her reaction.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked, eyeballing him as he spoke.

“Yes. It’s just so surreal how I thought I had put the owners in so much trouble with everything that had happened recently and now I’ve been asked to come sign the papers transferring the property to me and I do not have the words for this.”

“You deserve this, Antonio; you have given everything for this. It is called the reward of hard work and perseverance," she said jumping into his embrace, “I am so happy and proud of you.” She concluded as she let go of him, grinning.

“Thank you.” He replied happily.

“I will be moving to Spain. I want a new life, with the people I love, and I want to start a new life with you Antonio. Come with me to Spain, what do you say?” she asked him semi casually, trying not to put too much pressure in her words as she could see the surprise in his eyes already.

“That came out of the blues.” He confessed smiling.

“Well, I saved the best news for last; I’d like to think.” She added with a giggle, trying to cover up her nervousness.

“That is the most beautiful offer I have heard today but I must decline; I am sorry. I just started my life out; just became the owner of the diner and I am sorry that this might be disappointing to you but I won’t be able to come with you to Spain. I will come visiting from time to time and we will remain great friends," he said much to Elisabeth’s dismay and disappointment. She realized that she might have just lost Antonio in more ways that she could imagine.

“We could find someone to keep charge of the diner; don’t you want to see the world with me?” she asked again, hoping that it would sound enticing enough this time.

“I can’t Elisabeth. I think you need time to really decide what you really want because I see that you still have something going on with your ex-husband, and I respect it, but I do not want to get caught up in all of that. I might still be here when you return but I am not, I will never stop loving you; you are the queen of my heart.” He stated slowly and emphatically; his gaze fixed on her eyes.

She was speechless; watching as he took his leave and wondering where she had gotten it wrong. She knew he was right but she could not believe he had just turned her down; she could have acted faster, the pain cut her in imaginable places but she respected his decisions regardless. She followed slowly behind him as she watched him walk into the church. She knew she was alone now; just her and her plans and a new life ahead of her waiting to explore and see all the new things that life had in store for her.

“Where have you been?” Reuben asked when she got into the church.

“I went to check on a friend. What did I miss?” she asked, trying to take her mind off her conversation with Antonio.

“Antonio?” he asked staring into her eyes to see if she flinched enough to be caught telling a lie.

“Yes, Antonio.” She affirmed, looking away and showing no remorse.

“You like him, don’t you?” he asked, still staring intently.

“I do. He makes me feel like a teenager every day.” She confessed staring back at him in defense, “don’t tell me you are jealous; you had a whole ass marriage, don’t look at me funny because I like someone else. We are divorced already.” She defended.

“The burial procession would take place right about now.” Reuben replied, taking his mind off everything she had just said.

The cemetery in the small town was across the road, right opposite the church. The crowd moved in silence towards the cemetery, some men carried the coffins to the cemetery; the crowd was led by Pastor Jim and followed directly by Elisabeth and her family as well as Antonio and Reuben. The rest of the crowd including the press pack followed closely behind them. The atmosphere was serene yet tensed; the whole procession got realer by the moment. The press had begun to take pictures and report the news; Elisabeth focused on the event that was about happen.

Elisabeth saw two newly dug graves in the cemetery and knew immediately what it was for; the pastor began to say a short prayer as both coffins were lowered into the graves. The voices of the congregation saying Amen echoed through her head as she watched what was going on behind her dark eye shades.

“Lisa, look who came.” Her mother said, her voice hoarse from crying intermittently.

“Oh hey. I thought you would not be able to make it here.” Elisabeth sounded cheerful to see detective Nathan.

“I promised your mother that I would be here.” He shrugged and smiled.

“I love men that keep to their promises.” Her mother stated smiling.

“Mom, you are flirting.” Lisa accused and they began to laugh.

“What would you do from here?” he asked Lisa, rubbing his palm together to keep himself warm.

“I would love to relocate to Spain, start up an art gallery and adopt a son. I want to do all this with my mom.” She stated, staring in her mother’s direction and hoping to get a positive response from her.

“It has been forever since I last visited Spain. I miss the weather, culture, neighborhood, food, and everything. I think it's a wonderful idea to move to Spain,” her mother replied, moving her body to the enthusiasm that existed in her mind.

“I see that you have it all figured out,” Detective Nathan added. He was impressed with her decision to leave the small town.

“I don’t really have it figured out but it will come together along the line.” She responded.

“This town did evil things to my baby and I am so happy she would love to get away from here.” Her mother added with a pout, rubbing Elisabeth’s arm gently for a moment.

“Oh mom!” Elisabeth exclaimed as they all burst into laughter again; her mother snorted and they began to laugh all over again.

Detective Nathan revealed the bunch of flowers he was hiding behind him. They were the most beautiful bunch Elisabeth had ever seen. He handed them to Elisabeth and gave her a warm hug.

“You might want to place them by the graveside; it helps the spirit travel with ease to the great beyond.” He added as he handed the flowers to her.

“Thank you, they are so beautiful; I love them.” She stated.

“Go on.” Her mother encouraged her to go towards the graveside. The crowd had begun to disperse; most of the press men and the reporters were gone. There were only a handful of people in groups talking in murmurs and eyeballing Elisabeth’s family. Elisabeth looked around and looked at her mother again who nodded in approval; she walked to the neatly covered grave and read the inscriptions on the tombstone. She smiled, knowing her mother was behind the message. She looked at the flower in her hand and loosened the bunch. She split the bunch in two and placed each by the graveside for Linn and Umber. She took a few steps backwards and folded her arms, allowing the reality of things to crawl through her skin for the final time. She felt hands running through both her arms; she turned to see Reuben and Antonio, both by her side, smiling at her. Her mother walked past them to the graveside and placed the necklace she was wearing by Linn’s tombstone; there were moments of uncertainty and pain that had existed for so long in Lisa’s life but oddly, she could feel those moments dissipate right before her. She knew it was a new chapter of her life; her mother was right there, smiling at her. She had Antonio and Reuben although it was the most awkward of relationships because she did not have them in the way she would have loved to. She was in love with Antonio, she was certain of that now but it seemed that she was a bit too late. For the first time in the longest time, she understood life, the importance of the bad times and the definitions of the good times. She hated how she had put herself down for so many years, it wasn’t the world that was out to get her but her demons; she was always occupied with the negativities that surrounded her and she continuously fed its strength and drew energy from it source but she knew better now. She knew now that life came in phases and the outcome of one phase didn’t mean that she had failed life in its entirety.

She thought about her future, though simple: a small apartment in the heart of Spain and a big art gallery in one of the big cities, featuring all of her favorite artists. She wanted to go everywhere with her mother, side by side and hand in hand. She was determined to live in every moment, feel every emotion. She understood that life was not a game that could be predicted. There would be bad times, even if she hoped only for the good times, and she finally understood more than everything else that it was okay when her mind acted in a way that impeded her joy and happiness because even her demons had to have their fill.