Chapter 75 THE SHATTERING
CHAPTER 075: THE SHATTERING
Duskmoor is chaos when we return.
The crack in reality left scars. Buildings damaged, students traumatized, faculty working overtime to repair wards that keep failing.
Council's called another emergency session but I can't bring myself to care.
We go straight to the boys' shared quarters. It's the first time all five of us have been alone together since learning the truth.
Nobody speaks for a long time.
Alaric stands by the window, perfectly still in that vampire way. Cassian sits on the floor, head in his hands. Zev leans against the wall, amber eyes distant. Kieran paces like his wolf wants out except there's no wolf anymore, just the fragment pretending to be one.
"Say something," I finally manage. "Somebody say something."
"What do you want us to say?" Cassian asks. He's not joking. First time I've seen him without that crooked grin.
"That she's wrong. That you're real."
"We feel real," Zev says quietly. "But feelings don't change facts."
"The facts are wrong."
"Are they?" Alaric turns from the window. "I've lived two hundred years and never questioned my existence. Never wondered why I remembered nothing before waking as a vampire. Why my past is blank before age seventeen." His voice is too controlled, formal composure hiding devastation. "Now I know. There was no before. I just started existing. A fragment with delusions of personhood."
"Don't say that."
"It's true. We're echoes Thalira. Pieces of you that developed consciousness to cope with separation." He crosses to me, cups my face. "But that doesn't make this less real. What I feel for you. That's real. Even if I'm not."
I'm crying now. Can't help it.
Cassian stands, moves to my other side. "I've died one hundred twenty seven times. Each time I come back different. Memory fragments, personality shifts. I thought it was phoenix resurrection doing that." He laughs but it's broken. "Turns out I was just a fragment trying to remember what being whole felt like."
"Stop," I beg. "Both of you stop."
"Why?" Zev joins us. "It's the truth. We're not real people. We're parts of you. The sooner we accept that the easier this gets."
"I don't want it to be easy. I want it to not happen."
"That's not an option," Kieran says. He's stopped pacing, stands apart from our group. "We have three days before the Covenant manifests. Three days to save everyone."
"By killing you."
"We're already dead. We just didn't know it yet."
I pull away from all of them. "How are you so calm about this?"
"We're not," Alaric says. His crimson eyes are wet. First time I've seen him close to tears. "We're terrified. But we're also..." He struggles for words. "We're tired. Two hundred years searching for something I didn't understand. Now I know. I was searching for you. For home. For the place I came from."
"Cassian?" I look at him desperately.
He shrugs, trying for casual and failing. "One hundred twenty eight deaths. What's one more? Especially if it saves you."
"Zev?"
"I've walked a thousand dreams Thalira. Yours were always the most beautiful. Because they weren't dreams. They were memories of being whole." He smiles sadly. "Going back to that doesn't seem so bad."
I turn to Kieran. "And you? You're going to lose the wolf. The strength. Everything."
"I know."
"You'll just be human. Mortal. Normal."
"Good. Maybe normal is what I need." He crosses to me, takes my hands. "The fragment has been with me since birth. I don't remember life without it. But that doesn't mean I can't learn."
"You could die without it. You'll be vulnerable."
"Then I'll be vulnerable. But I'll be alive. And so will you. And billions of others." He pulls me against his chest. "That's worth losing some supernatural strength."
I'm sobbing into his shirt now. Completely breaking down.
The others gather close. All five of us in a knot of grief and acceptance and love.
"We have three days," Cassian says finally. "Three days before we have to do this. Let's not spend them crying."
"What should we spend them doing?" I ask.
"Living. Really living. One last time."
"That sounds morbid."
"Everything about this is morbid firefly. Might as well make the most of it."
Alaric kisses the top of my head. "He's right. Three days to say everything. Do everything. Be together completely."
"I don't know how to let you go," I whisper.
"You don't have to let go. We'll always be part of you. Just differently." Zev's voice is soft. "Less separation. More integration."
"That's not comforting."
"It's not meant to be. It's just true."
We stay like that for hours. Holding each other. Not talking. Just existing together while we still can.
Eventually someone knocks. Sofia's voice through the door. "Council wants you. All of you."
"Tell them to wait," Kieran calls back.
"They said it's urgent. The seals are cracking faster."
We pull apart reluctantly.
"How much faster?" I ask when we open the door.
Sofia's face is pale. "Not three days. Maybe two. The Covenant is forcing their way through."
My stomach drops. "We have less time?"
"Much less. Scholars think by tomorrow night the first one breaks through. After that it's a cascade. All seven within hours."
Forty eight hours.
Two days.
I look at the boys. They look back at me.
"Then we better make them count," Cassian says.
We follow Sofia to the Council chambers.
The remaining members are there. Commander Frost, Elder Sage, Oracle Mira. All looking grim.
"The situation has deteriorated," Frost says without preamble. "We need the Complete Phoenix. Now."
"We have two days," I say.
"You have less. The reunification ritual takes time. Preparation. You should start tonight."
"No."
Everyone goes quiet.
"Excuse me?" Frost's voice is dangerous.
"I said no. We have two days. We're taking them."
"The world is ending."
"Then it ends. I'm not sacrificing them without at least saying goodbye properly."
"That's selfish."
"I don't care." I stand taller. "Two days. Then I'll do whatever you want. But not before."
Frost looks ready to argue but Oracle Mira raises a hand.
"Give them two days. The Covenant won't fully manifest before then." Her white eyes find mine. "But after that there's no more waiting. No more delays. You become whole or we all die."
"Understood."
We leave before anyone can protest further.
Back in the hallway Alaric starts laughing. Actual laughing.
"What?" I demand.
"You just told the Council to wait because you want time to say goodbye to fragments of yourself. The absurdity is beautiful."
"It's not absurd. You're real to me."
"We know." He takes my hand. "That's why we love you."
Cassian grabs my other hand. "So what's the plan? How do we spend two days before we stop existing?"
"Together," I say simply. "All of us. No separating. No regrets."
"Together," they echo.
Zev links his arm through mine. "Then let's make them the best two days we've ever had."
We walk down the corridor. Five people who are really one person who refuses to accept that.
Two days.
Forty eight hours.
Then I lose them forever.
But right now, in this moment, they're still here.
Still mine.
Still real.
And that has to be enough.