Chapter 72 MEASURES
CHAPTER 072: MEASURES
We walk back to Duskmoor carrying our dead. Those who are dying.
Lunas unconscious. Her breathing is weak. Morgana can barely walk. Shadows are flickering around her like dying flames. Cassians ashes are silent and still in their container.
The gates of Duskmoor open before we reach them. Corvus is already there. He looks pale when he sees us.
"What happened?" he asks.
"We lost " I say. My voice sounds empty. "Three seals are broken. Cassian is dead. Luna was. Almost killed. We lost."
He doesn't waste time on comforting us. He starts organizing. Medical teams rush out to take care of Luna and Morgana. Scholars come to collect Cassian's ashes.
The emergency Council meeting starts within an hour.
There aren't many of us left. Thorne is dead. Two other members were killed during Malachus's attack. Now we have Commander Frost, Elder Sage and Oracle Mira.
"All remaining seals are under attack at the time " Commander Frost says. "Multiple Covenant servants are hitting locations worldwide."
"How forces do we have?" Alaric asks.
"Not enough " Commander Frost replies. "We can maybe defend two locations. Maybe."
"Four seals left " Elder Sage says quietly. "Even if we save three losing one means five total broken. After that it's two more to complete freedom."
"We're losing " Frost says. "We need to accept that and prepare for invasion. Focus on defense of offense."
I clench my fists. "So what? We just give up?"
"We adapt to reality " Frost says. "The Covenant is coming. We fortify, gather forces prepare for war."
"There has to be another way " I say.
"There isn't " Frost replies.
"There is " Oracle Mira says. Her white eyes find me. ". You won't like it."
Everyone goes quiet.
"Tell me " I say.
She stands up. Moves to the center of the council chamber. "We re-seal the Covenant. Same method the first Phoenix used a time ago."
"She used her life force to create the seals " Corvus says slowly.
"Yes. Bound them with her essence. It required a lot of power."
"Thaliras a Phoenix " Elder Sage says. "She could do it again."
My stomach drops. "What's the cost?"
Nobody wants to say it.
"Tell me " I repeat.
Oracle Mira meets my eyes. "It would kill you. Permanently. No resurrection. Your essence would become the seals. You'd cease to exist."
The room erupts.
" not " Kieran says.
"We'll find another way " Alaric says.
"There has to be another option " Zev adds.
I'm looking at Oracle Miras face. I see the finality in her expression.
"There isn't another way is there?" I ask quietly.
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry."
The boys won't let me speak. They're already shouting down the Council, demanding alternatives.
I see the truth in Miras white eyes.
My life for the world.
That's the equation.
That night I don't tell them what I'm planning. They'd stop me. Lock me up. Do anything to prevent it.
So I spend time with each of them. Say things that sound normal but aren't. Make memories I'll carry into whatever comes after death.
I find Kieran in the gardens. Hes walking the paths like hes trying to pace his fear.
"Thank you " I say, falling into step beside him.
"For what?" he asks.
"For coming for me. Every time. Across lifetimes."
"I'll always come back for you " he says.
"Promise me something " I say. "If I'm not there you'll take care of the others. Keep them together."
"Why are you talking like this?" he asks.
"Just promise " I say.
He searches my face. "I promise.. You're not going anywhere."
I don't correct him.
Alarics in the library. Hes surrounded by books hes not reading.
"Will you remember me?" I ask. "After I'm gone?"
"You're not going anywhere " he says.
". If I did. Would you remember?"
He stands up and crosses to me. "For eternity. Every moment. Every word. Everything."
I kiss him desperately. I'm trying to memorize the taste of his lips the feel of his hands on my face.
When we break apart his dark eyes are suspicious. "Thalira—"
"I love you " I interrupt. "I need you to know that. Always."
Zevs on the astronomy tower. It's his spot when hes thinking too much.
"If I wasn't here " I say, sitting beside him "would you be okay?"
"No.. I'd survive. We all would " he says.
"Promise you won't let them give up. On life. On love. On anything."
He turns to look at me. "Whats going on?"
" promise," I say.
He studies me for a moment. "I promise.. I don't like whatever you're planning."
"I'm not planning anything " I say.
"Terrible liar " he says.
I lean against him. He holds me while we watch stars that couldn't care less about the end of the world.
"I love you " I whisper.
"Love you too " he says. "Which is why I'm not letting you do whatever thing you're thinking about."
"Not your choice " I say.
"Yes it is " he says.
He doesn't try to stop me when I leave.
That makes it easier.
I spend the rest of the night writing. Letters for each of them. Explanations they won't understand until its too late.
The hardest part is Luna. She's still unconscious in the wing. I sit beside her bed hold her hand talk to the sister I barely got to know.
"I'm sorry " I whisper. "Sorry we didn't get time. Sorry I have to do this.. You'll be okay. They'll take care of you."
Her hand twitches in mine. Just once. Like shes trying to hold on.
I kiss her forehead. Leave before I lose my nerve.
Oracle Mira is waiting by the gates at dawn. She knew I'd come.
"Are you certain?" she asks.
"No. But I'm doing it anyway " I say.
"The others will be devastated " she says.
"The others will be alive. That's what matters " I reply.
We leave through a side gate. Wards part for Oracles authority. Behind us Duskmoor sleeps, unaware I'm walking away forever.
The sun rises as we travel. It's beautiful and indifferent.
I count heartbeats out of habit. One, two three, four.
I wonder how many I have left.
The boys will wake soon. Find my note. Come after me.
I just need to reach the seal location first. Complete the ritual before they can stop me.
Trade my existence for theirs.
That's a trade in my book.
Oracle Mira leads me through forests and fields. We move faster than her age should allow. We don't talk. Nothing left to say.
By afternoon we reach it. An ancient temple, older than Duskmoor than the supernatural nations. Where the first Phoenix made her choice a time ago.
"This is where it happens " Mira says. "Where you become the seal."
"How long does it take?" I ask.
"Hours. Maybe less for a Phoenix. You'll feel it draining your essence your life force, your soul. It will hurt " Mira replies.
" things worth doing hurt " I say.
She nods. "You're brave."
"I'm terrified " I say.
"That's what means " Mira says.
We enter the temple. Stone walls covered in symbols I don't recognize. My soul does. This place knows what I am. What I'm about to do.
"Are you ready?" Mira asks.
I think about Kierans loyalty Alarics devotion Cassians warmth Zevs understanding. Lunas laughter. Everyone I'm saving by doing this.
"Yes " I lie.
She begins the ritual.
Power floods, through me immediately. It's ancient and hungry. It pulls at my essence drinking from the well of what makes me me.
It hurts. Gods it hurts.
I bite my lip to keep from screaming.
That's when I feel it. Four presences racing toward us through the bond that shouldn't exist anymore but apparently does.
The boys. They found me.
"How long until its complete?" I ask, out of breath.
"At another hour " she replies.
They will reach me any minute now.
"Then we need to hurry this up " I say and I give in to the force pulling me.
Let everything take over faster burning through my energy like a wildfire, in grass.
The temple door bursts open.
Kieran, Alaric and Zev rush in. Cassian is still ashes so there are three of them but thats enough to try and stop this.
"No!" Kieran yells.
They run towards me. Oracle Mira puts up a barrier. "Its already started. Stopping it now would kill her. Not help."
"Thalira what are you doing?" Alaric demands.
I look at them. Try to remember their faces one time.
"I'm saving you " I say simply.
Then the ritual finishes.
My spirit tears free, spreading out to fix the seals to bind the Covenant again.
I feel myself fading. Becoming something. Something thats not alive but not quite dead.
The last thing I see is their faces. They look devastated, furious and heartbroken.
The last thing I feel is love.
Then nothing.
Darkness, until but wait.
Something feels off.
The ritual should have worked. I should be gone. I should not exist anymore.
I'm still here. I'm still aware. I'm still something.
I opened my eyes and I thought I lost.
I'm standing in a space. It stretches out in all directions.
Standing in front of me smiling is my mother.
"Hello baby " she says. "We need to talk about whats next.”