Chapter 28: The Struggle of Plans

Arriving at her room, she put down the book she had borrowed and looked at the clock on the screen of the laptop she had just turned on.

Three o'clock in the afternoon.

Outside the window, the weather still looked quite clear. The sky stretched blue, faint with thin clouds between the tops of the trees surrounding the house. From the window frame, somehow the warm feeling reminded her of Leonard's words.

"What has been bothering you all this time, is not preventing you from your love for writing. But what's been bothering you is support. Is that enough, Fi?"

It's never enough, Fiona told herself.

She opened her e-mail and checked for a new message from her editor.

Sky G:

Fiona, how are you? Things are a little cooler in Paris this time around. Well, even though the news about you is fading, Luna has gotten a lot of support and new sponsors for her publishing house. One of them is going to be a movie, and you know... a lot of your readers really want to interact with you directly. They care so much about you and wish you well. I and the publishers can only say that your break this time is to find a new turning point to return to the literary world in a better way. In fact, they never asked for that, Fi. They just want you to be okay.

Sky G's e-mail message made Fiona's chest feel heavy. She wanted to cry so badly that she had forgotten all about her readers because of this problem.

Would it all come full circle in the end? Would Fiona be able to break free from this circle that was surrounding her?

Fiona didn't know. She was so depressed that it seemed impossible to get out anywhere. Especially when Leonard's problems came up. The wedding, the Marionette, and being tagged.

Why was all this happening when she had her own problems? More than she ever imagined, Fiona had never even devised a drama for her life story other than in a novel.

Fiona turned to the internet. She went to the website where her publisher had been selling her books. In the tab bar, she typed in her pen name; Scarlet Rose, and found the top ten books that were still occasionally reprinted. The top recommendation and always printed as a best seller. Back then, when she looked at those words, Fiona's heart seemed to burst with pride. But now, guilt spread like a creeping root and choked her chest.

Was erotica really such a disgusting work that all literary writers should be ashamed of themselves?

The words of Luna, the literary writer who had argued with her on the day of Paris Literatur 2023, came back to me.

"You're just writing erotic! You're selling lust, not art! You're a disgrace!"

Fiona never grew up with both parents; she was raised by monks from a young age. She never relied on anyone's warm words and always fought for herself. What she remembers most is that once, when one of the nurses at the orphanage encouraged her, her words were simply this; "get up, if life is hard. The world is very hard. While if you are textured like the wind, you can only push it, not destroy it. Live like a rock that is also hard. Undoubtedly, you will be able to survive the upheaval of this world."

With those words, Fiona armed herself with a million determination and intentions. She was desperate to sell her own erotic writing and who knew? Talent and luck surrounded her. Her work was noticed by a small publisher who turned out to make more money than a major publisher in Paris. All writers envied her, all people envied money.

Once or twice, Fiona got used to the insults.

But for years?

Then all she remembered were Nia's words.

"Fi, do what makes you happy. Don't lose yourself to what other people say. They don't know you. Why should you listen to their judgment? The only one who knows you is you. Don't be influenced by what they say that isn't true."

Fiona immediately got up from her laptop and reached for the table where the corded phone was. She could call Nia now. But disappointment again rebuked her. She squatted down and while suppressing her irritation, she pulled her hair and screamed behind her knees.

The door to the room opened instantly. Fiona didn't want to see who it was. She hugged her knees and sat down on the carpet with her breath catching.

The person stepped closer and came up behind her. A light, soothing scent touched Fiona's nostrils. There was no need to guess, she knew who it was.

Without saying anything, Leonard stroked the top of Fiona's head. The gentle touch made Fiona's body instantly tremble and she cried.

"If it's too heavy, you're free to take it out, Fi," Leonard said, suddenly not the person she hated most in the entire world. Leonard's words woke Fiona up from her knees and turned her face around to face Leonard behind her.

"I hate you, but why are you always the one in these moments?"

Leonard's hand reached out, brushing a tear from Fiona's cheek with his thumb. "What do you want?"

Fiona's gaze shifted to the man's lips. But for a second, she looked away. Leonard could see it. A small smile rebuked the man, and a green light seemed to burn inside him. He took off his coat and threw it on the bed. They sat beside the bed, the door to the room closed and the cold air surrounding them. However, they both knew that there was nothing else that could keep them close other than the desire to be together.

"For you, I can give anything," Leonard said softly. He straightened Fiona's legs that hid her face. Leonard moved closer to the side, rubbed Fiona's cheek, and pushed her long hair back behind her shoulders. The girl wore only a white satin dress that hung with shoulder straps. Fiona's white skin was exposed. Leonard gave her shoulder a small kiss. Then, he inhaled her scent until his lips moved slowly to Fiona's neck.

Fiona closed her eyes. Feeling the flow of warmth that greeted her body. Feeling Leonard who slowly touched her in a gentle pressure. The pressure is so indulgent.

"I love you just the way you are, babe."

As soon as he said it, Fiona unconsciously turned her head and Leonard hunted her lips in such deep pressure. He pushed Fiona down onto the carpet and Leonard's body pressed Fiona underneath him.

Fiona closed her eyes. Feeling the warm sensation creeping up her body. Leonard's kiss was so hot and passionate. It stirred up such deep flavors that Fiona believed in finally opening her mouth and allowing Leonard full access. Leonard's hands rubbed the two mounds in front of her. He descends, pulverizing the chunks deliciously as Fiona craves them.

Even through the fabric, Leonard could feel how much he wanted to leave a mark of ownership there. Fiona let out a short sigh that Leonard couldn't resist. He wanted to devour Fiona who had lost consciousness like this. But the memories of the past that Fiona had told him earlier made him stop that.

Instead of mastering it, Leonard pulled Fiona up and carried her to the bed. Fiona opened her eyes slowly and looked at Leonard who was now on top of her. Under her head, a pillow held them together. Their faces were in close proximity.

"I promise, after the wedding, we can work through this together. Okay?"

"I barely even know you, Leonard."

"Do we have to get acquainted before we get married? At this stage, what is it about me that you can't trust? You've always been 'almost' mine, Fiona." Leonard leaned forward and gently kissed her lips. "As I've always maintained. Even though Marionette has marked you, I don't care. I'm already so in love with you that I'm blind."

Leonard's gaze held Fiona's.

There was nothing Fiona could feel but desire. She didn't ask. But Leonard knew it. So without saying anything, they rolled over, making out again in a deep, hot embrace.

***