Chapter Nine - Guilty Pleasures

The next morning, I woke up in my room, not really sure how I made it back from the maze in the dungeon. The stench of the dungeon was stuck in my nose, as I could still smell everyone rotting down there as soon as I woke up. After my encounter with Ruth and the royal family, I spent the remainder of the night in a fog. I couldn’t believe what Ruth said to me. I knew her words were right, but I believed I wasn’t only thinking of myself… Was I? I have been carefully forming a plan without the help of Rory or Asher. I didn’t want them in on any of it. As far as I am concerned, the less they know the better.

I decided I would go take a bath, maybe it would alleviate the stench stuck in my nose. If nothing else, the hot water would make my aching bones feel better and maybe even lift my spirits a little.

As I walk out of my bathroom, a woman I haven’t seen before walks into the room with a tray of food. “Your breakfast, my lady. Is there anything else I can help you with this morning?”

I stare at her perplexed. “Where is Eleanor?”

“Oh, forgive me, my lady. My name is Lily and I have relieved Eleanor of all her duties from this point on.” She replied while smiling. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I shook my head with confusion displayed across my face.

“Very well,” Lily responded and walked out the door.

Relieved Eleanor of all her duties? I thought to myself. Of course, I knew what the statement meant, but where could she have gone? What happened to her? What could have caused her to leave? Would I ever see her again?

I wasn’t exactly close to Eleanor, but I still cared and worried for her. I would like to think that I somewhat made a friend with her.

I looked down at the plate of food, pushing it away. I couldn’t eat. I could not shake the bad feeling that I had about Eleanor’s sudden absence.

I bet Silas will know what happened to her. I have a feeling all of this was his doing… I thought, deciding it was time to go searching for him for a talk.

As our wedding date is quickly approaching, it’s time to address some of my concerns about Eleanor, but more specifically Ruth. With the amount of time and trust I have tried to instill in him, he should be calm and rational about my concerns…. Hopefully…

I was still in a bath towel; I know I won’t receive answers from him only wearing this… I blushed before finding a dress that wasn’t too difficult and intricate to put on without the assistance of another person. When I was fully clothed, I opened the door, looking at the guard determined, “I wish to see my fiancé.”

“Yes, my lady.” The guard replies. “I will alert another guard to your desire while we go to the garden or library.”

I was slightly disappointed since I could not be led directly to Silas and would have to wait longer. My courage may deteriorate by the time he shows his face! “The garden will be fine,” I replied as I turned around to grab a book to keep me busy during my wait.

While in the garden, I started reading a book about the history of Shanaledge while sitting on one of the wooden benches next to the pond.

“The king or queen of Shanaledge is of royal blood that has the power to remove others’ abilities if said king or queen feels a person is abusing others in ways that profits themselves or causes harm to others. If said person is more of a criminal, a murderer, or concocts sinister plans, the king or queen will take their power away from them to try and protect his townspeople.

“Many of the king and queens have been recorded saying this ability is one they dislike the most. They leave this ability as a last resort.”

I wonder if there is a book about how Silas took control of this realm. I contemplated for a moment. There must be a book about that somewhere.

I was getting ready to continue reading when Silas came walking up with a skip in his step and a grin on his face. “Hello, my darling.” He greeted happily. “You wished to see me?”

I had never seen Silas so happy before. I knew that his happiness would turn into a fit of rage, but I really needed to know what happened to Eleanor and what to do about Ruth. I smiled back at him as he took a seat next to me.

“So what did you want to see me about?” Silas asked excitedly.

The palms of my hands started to sweat as I grew nervous. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important.” I began as I tried to work up some courage.

“Of course not my darling,” Silas stated while giving her a seductive smile. “Nothing is more important than you.”

I blushed and couldn’t help but smile. Dammit, how does he do that? I asked myself as I tried to clear my mind. “Well, it’s nothing too important. I was just wondering where Eleanor, my servant, went. A new girl named Lily turned up this morning and I was a bit shocked. Eleanor didn’t tell me she would be leaving.” I stated with a bit of hesitation in my voice.

Annoyance flashed through his eyes. “Oh…” Silas started as he became a little less attentive to me while falling back into a slouch next to me. “I had to let Eleanor go. She just wasn’t performing her duties adequately.”

I became confused by Silas’s statement. “Did she do something wrong while tending to me?” I questioned innocently. “I thought she was doing a lovely job, especially after I broke her of being so formal towards me.”

Silas sat back upright, drawing closer to me. He smiled and caressed my cheek. “Even though you told her to not address you as such, she still should have.”

I was perplexed by his explanation. “Is that why she was replaced?”

“No.” He replied, looking me up and down.

I could feel my face growing hot under his wandering eyes again. Clearing my throat I begin sheepishly, “Can I ask you something without you becoming too angry with me?”

Silas’s eyes caught mine with curiosity and apprehension. “What is it my darling?”

I took a deep breath before I continued, “I was just wondering if Ruth was still around?” I questioned as I grabbed his hand.

“Yes.” He responded uninterested.

My hands were clasped into his. I looked down at our entwined fingers, his looked nothing like Rory’s. Rory’s hands were quite bigger than Silas’s. They were also a little rough and callused. Rory had the hands of a working man. Silas’s hands were barely bigger than mine and were almost just as soft. I played with his fingers for a moment, studying them, comparing them, before continuing. “I only bring it up because what is the point in keeping her here now? She serves no purpose in keeping me here.” I scoot a little closer to Silas, trying to focus on seeing into his mind. “You are my fiancé. You are my soulmate. I am going to stay here with you whether she is here or not.” I continue as my face draws closer to his, distracting him. “I’m yours,” I state before kissing him.

The electricity burns through me from every touch we place on one another, from every kiss that is exchanged. This electric jolt makes me crave him more and more. Before I knew what was happening, Silas had me laying down on the bench with him hovering over me. I could feel his hardened bulge pressing against me as he kissed my neck.

I let out a quiet moan, losing my concentration to dig into his mind. His kisses traveled down my neck to my cleavage. My fingers were playing in his hair as my heart started racing.

He looked up at me with lust-filled eyes. “Come with me.” He says, helping me up and grabbing my hand as we walk quickly into the castle.

We maneuvered through various corridors while a smile remained on his face. He took me to a different floor of the castle. At the end of the hall, I entered a room, Silas’s personal room.

A huge bed rested in the center of his bedroom which was on top of a red circular rug with royal symbols embroidered on it. The coverings on the bed were also red and looked like satin material, with gold trim. Paintings were covering opposite walls and a portrait of her resting on the wooden nightstand next to his bed. The other walls contained floor-to-ceiling bookcases that wrapped around the room and housed as many books. Two tall, narrow and very detailed sash windows were on either side of Silas’s enormous bed with matching curtains that complimented the bedding. A wooden dresser with a mirror was next to the entrance.

I studied the room in awe. “Is this your room?” I glance at myself in the mirror, the ridiculous dress I was wearing did make me look stunning… If only…

“Yes,” Silas replied smiling. His smile grew brighter as he stepped closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist in a tight embrace. “I thought we could use a little privacy.” He remarked pulling me even closer into a kiss.

My heart began racing. I knew I shouldn’t but, God I wanted to. He guided me slowly to the bed while still kissing me. I lay down on my back not sure if I was really prepared for this. Could I force myself to do what needed to be done? Could I ignore the sensations burning through me? Silas climbed on top of me, kissing me hungrily.

He pulled himself up onto his knees, looking at me for a moment as if he were studying me; trying to capture every detail of me at this moment. I sat up, feeling his body as I kissed him, helping him pull off his shirt. Silas unzips the back of my dress, pulling the top down to free my chest. He kisses me more as his heart raced and the bulge in his pants grew bigger. He looks down at my half-naked body, “You are so sexy.”

I blushed as I studied his half-naked body. His body is more defined than I initially thought. Silas normally looks lanky and undefined, but his clothes seem to hide his figure very well.

He started to pull my dress down further, to free the rest of my body of clothing. I tried to focus, taking a deep breath. Focus to see what secrets he kept hidden. A scary, grotesque monstrous face, screeching appeared to me, terrifying me. I suddenly began to panic and grabbed his hand. “Wait,” I said as tears started filling my eyes.

Silas stopped and looked at me questioningly.

I sat up, knowing I might have just lost all progress I may have made with Silas. What if he felt me poking around? Any trust he had in me, I just lost. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this to Rory. I couldn’t do this to myself. I couldn’t do this even if it meant I could save everyone by simply having sex with Silas. I leaned myself against the headboard, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Silas slowly sat beside me, letting out an aggravated sigh. “Let me guess, you lied about everything.” He stated with anger growing in his voice as pain showed on his face, his mind preoccupied with thousands of thoughts. “Everything you said you felt for me was nothing.” Disappointment rang in his voice.

I looked at him. “No. I do have feelings for you, I truly do.” I responded honestly, as I tried to figure out how to salvage the situation and our supposed ‘relationship.’ “It’s just everything is moving too fast and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Every fiber of my being wanted to continue, Silas. It’s just with everything that has happened between when I first got here and now, it’s a lot to take in. I’m just not sure if right now, right at this moment is the appropriate time to be this intimate.”

Silas wore an expression of disbelief. I could tell he didn’t believe a word I had just said. “If right now, when we are all alone with no distractions isn’t the right time to make love, then when is? You showed you were more than willing just a few minutes ago and a few times before now. What exactly changed?”

I grew irritated. “We have a lot to do Silas! You may be used to all the pressure, which why wouldn’t you? You are a king after all. But that doesn’t mean a romance that just started a couple of weeks ago and then marriage is going to happen in less than two weeks while also taking time to learn my role and about my amulet doesn’t exactly frighten and overwhelm all of my emotions.”

Silas gave her an understanding stare. “All right, my darling.” He responded as he kissed me on the forehead while wiping away some stray tears. “I forget that everything is still new to you.” Silas embraces me. I could tell Silas was enjoying the skins of our topless bodies touching. He had firm muscles and his skin was so warm. We remained to lie in bed together, embraced for about an hour without saying a word.

I was overcome with the face that came to me at that moment before he pulled my dress down. Silas was holding me, but I didn’t feel safe in his arms. Not like with Rory…

Silas let out an aggravated sigh. “I need to return to my duties, my darling.” He said as he kissed my shoulder. “I wish I could just stay here with you instead.”

“Me too,” I replied with a sad smile.

Later that evening, I was back in my bedroom, but not without an interesting find in Silas’s room. After Silas left me alone in his bedroom, for a few minutes, I was able to look around his room. While the décor of paintings fascinated me, as I did wonder who each portrait depicted, I was more interested in the plethora of books that were housed on the bookshelves. Many of them weren’t of any importance. As I studied the titles of each book, I started to believe maybe Silas really did destroy every book that pertained to me and the true history of this realm, until I finally noticed one that seemed to have been about the royal bloodline. I grabbed it before hurrying up to get ready and hightailing it back to my room.

Opening the door to my room, I found Asher standing in the center of the room.

“What did you do?” He questioned appalled.

“What are you talking about?” I responded with a bite. I walked past him to set the book on my bed.

“Your hair is disheveled, your dress isn’t on right, and you have been in Silas’s room for over two hours!” Asher responded accusingly as he sized me up.

“Nothing happened!” I replied. “Even if it did it’s none of your business, Asher.”

He looked me up and down skeptically, rage burning in his eyes.

“Why are you acting like a big brother? Nothing happened!”

Asher shook his head. “What is that?”

“One of the many reasons I am glad I was able to get into Silas’s room. It’s a book on the royal bloodline. I thought Silas wouldn’t mind me ‘borrowing’ it.”

“Sarai, we have more pressing matters to discuss.” Asher morosely started. “Ruth isn’t doing too well.”

“I’m aware,” I replied distractedly. “I tried talking Silas into letting her go because she holds no leverage over my head anymore. I’m not sure if it made any difference though.”

Asher stared at me questioningly. “How are you aware of her condition?”

“I was able to find my way to the dungeon last night since no one was guarding my door. Did you do that?” I asked, expecting he was the one behind everything last night.

“No… It wasn’t me…”

“Then who was it?” I questioned in surprise.

Asher shrugged his shoulders, as baffled as I was.

After a few minutes of trying to consider what happened, Asher began, “Did you happen to notice Eleanor was down there now as well?”

“What?” I responded shocked.

“Someone accused her of befriending you and gossiping with you as if you were equals. She has also been charged with treason.”

“Treason?” I continued horrified.

“Sarai, you know she was planning on killing Silas. She wanted him dead and gone as much as the rest of us.”

“So, let me get this straight, she was initially locked away for befriending me?” I responded dumbfoundedly. “Who accused her? Is that even really a crime? Who ordered her to the dungeons?”

Asher’s face contorted with a complex stare. “It’s not necessarily a crime as much as it is just considered downright disrespectful. I don’t know who exactly accused her, but Silas was the one who sent her to the dungeons.” He paused for a moment as he studied my reactions. “Eleanor is lucky Silas just locked her away. He could’ve just killed her.”

“Why didn’t he though?” I was puzzled. “He did it to everyone else. Why not her?”

“I don’t know. But we seriously need to work faster at getting her, Ruth, and the royals out of those dungeons. Sarai, Ruth doesn’t have much time left. She is going to die if we do not get her out of here soon.” He continued pleadingly.

“I know Asher,” I replied aggravated as I sat on my bed, burying my face in my hands. “Everything has happened so quickly, yet not fast enough.”

Asher threw his hands up defeated.

“I’ve been so busy making sure that I gain Silas’s trust and remain on his good side while trying to sort through my feelings, learning about my abilities, and worrying about everything else I haven’t been able to properly think about what to do next. Nor have I had time for myself to just breathe.”

“You still seriously believe you have feelings for Silas?” Asher responded astonished. “After everything you have witnessed in the dungeons and after what I told you he did to Eleanor, you believe he could be your soulmate? Unbelievable.”

I stared at Asher with so much anger my body was shaking. “Why is it so hard to believe? Yes, I, unfortunately, have to do this. While he is torturing poor people and I know he is the worst man in this realm, for some reason I seem to have feelings for him! I don’t know why and I don’t know how okay? Apparently, I am an alien to everyone including myself! No one can tell me anything about my past lives and soulmates definitively!” My rant began to turn into a tearful confession. “I know Ruth wants nothing to do with me. Hell, she would rather die than be freed. I just…” I started sobbing. “I just… I just can’t do this anymore.”

Asher started feeling remorseful. He hugged me to make me feel better. His actions surprised me and still didn’t help as I continued to cry.

“My best friend hates me and Rory will never want anything to do with me ever again. I even tried to get inside Silas’s head and nothing went right.” I sobbed, remembering what I had seen.

“It will all be all right, Sarai,” Asher replied, rubbing her back to comfort her. “Ruth will come around eventually and Rory… He understands what is really important. He knows everything you have done will be to stop Silas. He will in time forgive and forget.”

“Not with everything I’ve had to do. I almost…” I hesitated, not wanting to speak the words out loud.