Chapter 66 CHAPTER 66
My mouth went dry.
The water lapped at his chest, steam rising around him in the cool cave air. His hair was slicked back now, he'd pushed it to the back with those sleek fingers that turned pages when he'd read for me. And then the droplets trailing down his neck, disappearing beneath the surface gave the visual that any magazine would kill to have on their front pages.
His golden eyes tracked every breath I took, every shift of my weight.
Predatory. Patient. Hungry.
"I..." My voice came out rough. "I don't have my swimming clothes."
What the fuck am I saying?
"Neither do I."
Oh.
Of course he had a rebuff for that, it was too weak.
"Zade…"
"You're the one who invited me up here, Little Sunshine." His voice was different now. Deeper. Raw. "Except you've changed your mind?"
I should leave.
Walk away. Give him space to cool down whatever this fever was that had turned his eyes to gold and his body to living flame.
But my feet moved forward instead.
"Just to cool off," I said, more to convince myself than him.
His lips curved into something that wasn't quite a smile.
"Of course. Just to cool off."
But we both knew that was a lie, he was a forbidden meal that had my mouth watering and with the way he looked at me, it was clear he wanted to devour me.
What's worse?
I wanted it, so badly it scared me.
Where's that terror and fear of men when you need it?
I kept my underwear on; that small barrier felt important, necessary and stepped into the water.
It was perfect.
Warm but not hot, although that word was beginning to dwindle in my vocabulary, soothing against my tired muscles, washing away the day's fear and exhaustion.
And Zade was right there.
Closer than I'd realized. Close enough that I could see water droplets clinging to his lashes, could count the rapid pulse at his throat, could feel the heat still radiating from him despite the water.
I didn't realise the pool was this small.
"Your eyes are still gold," I whispered.
"I know." He didn't look away. "Does it scare you?"
"No,” I replied, as honest as I could be.
His eyes, in both shades were always drawing me in.
“You should be,” he said, his voice hoarse. "You should be scared of me right now, Alira. I'm barely holding on."
I frowned.
"To what?"
His hand lifted from the water, hovering near my face but not quite touching. His claws were still extended, black and dangerous and trembling with restraint.
"I… I made a promise to myself,” he cleared his throat. “That I'd go slow with you. That I'd give you time. That I'd be patient." His voice dropped even lower. "But you climbed this stupid mountain in a dress that's been torturing me all evening. You smiled at me with that mouth I can't stop thinking about. And then you almost fell, and I—"
He cut himself off, jaw clenching.
"You what?" I breathed, my body literally on fire, I was hanging on to every word he said, the pained expression on his face touching me intimately.
"I realized I'd burn this entire kingdom down if it meant catching you."
The words hung between us, heavy and honest and completely terrifying. I've never had anyone be so passionate about me.
"Zade…"
"Tell me to leave, Alira,” His eyes blazed brighter. "Tell me you don't want this. Tell me anything that will make me walk away, because I can't do it on my own. I can't control myself, I can't stop wanting you in a way that I shouldn't. I want to do more than dream about you, I want to rip off this underwear and… stars above," he groaned, stopping himself and covering his face with his hand.
Panting as though he'd run a marathon on high speed.
I should tell him to leave. Should remember Draco, should remember Florian, should remember that I'd sworn off men entirely after Jake destroyed me.
Should remember a thousand reasons why this was a terrible idea.
But all I could remember was the way he'd looked at me across the library for weeks, read books to me, spoke to me with so much kindness I melted every time. The way he'd climbed this mountain in seconds because he thought I was in danger. The way he'd called me Little Sunshine like it was a prayer.
Fucking hell, who the fuck do I think I am?
That sort of control isn't something I have.
He shouldn't put that responsibility on me because I wanted this just as much as he did.
“I'm sorry,” I croaked, “I can't.”
I crossed the bridge between us again, pulled his hands away from his eyes and forced him to look at me.
“You're touching me,” he breathed, “Sunshine you shouldn't –”
“I want it Zade, I want you.”
“I'm not safe for you Alira, I'm dangerous, I have a darkness inside of me, it's volatile, I lose my mind sometimes and I can't figure out what happened when I was out of it. You need to get your stuff and run away from me right now.”
“I know it sounds silly,” I breathed, foolishly walking into his space, “but if you wanted to hurt me, if the darkness inside of you had wanted to hurt me, it would have already happened. I can't explain it but I feel safer with you than I have ever felt.”
“Alira…”
“You won't hurt me,” I promised him, pulling his hand to my chest.
He whispered those two words one says before doing something they definitely shouldn't be doing.
“Fuck it,” his voice burdened with need.
And he kissed me.
Tenderly at first, like he was massaging my soul through my lips but I knew he was holding back.
Trying to cling to control.
But I moved in deeper.
I felt his dick imprint on my leg and I realized I should have listened to that warning before my brain got befuddled.
The danger wasn't in his head but in his shorts.
A growl escaped his throat and his hands dug deeper into my hair, the messy bun I put in scattering in one tug.
When my body moved against his again, he finally lost the control he'd been clinging so hard to since he complimented my eyes.
And I was ready.
To be ruined.