Chapter 53 CHAPTER 53
ZADE'S POV
The tremors returned again.
Right as she finally settled down in the reading corner I'd built for her.
Why do I always manage to ruin everything?
I watched as it shook, my hand unable to stay still no matter how much I tried to control it.
“Are you okay?”
I couldn't respond, how could I? I'd lost control of everything but I still understood that I was losing my mind and that for however long it takes, I will be gone and then come back to deal with the consequences.
“Zade?”
The darkness was at the edge of my mind now, and it should have happened already but the way she called my name, the concern in her voice, I…
“What do you need love?”
“Love?” She breathed a chuckle, “You're so sweet. Can I have the book of the beginning? I really need it for a project.”
Her eyes…
I shook my head, remembering why it must stay right where it is, away from her.
“If any instructor needs you to reference that book, they'll give you a written note, signed by the Principal.”
The darkness was still there, no longer interested in me but her.
I should run away, take it away from her. I always awoke in some state of destruction with no one remembering or understanding how I got there but it's been the state of my life ever since…
No, I'm not going to think about it or this library will go up in flames.
Again.
“Fine, you got me there,” she smiled guiltily, “No instructor gave me any assignment. This is specifically for me, I need it to find out why I'm unable to trace my parents' location. I don't even know who I truly am or if they're even alive. What if I'm from a great family or they've been searching for me?”
"All of that can't happen yet until you mount your own dragon on trial day. Hopefully, you don't jump to your death."
The thought terrified me, her on a dragon that might get rammed into and she'll free-fall to her death.
“Shut it down Zade,” the darkness snapped at me, “not everyone is going to walk the same path as you. She's destined for great things, give her the book!”
“Is that why you want to shove me to oblivion again?!” I snapped, but I remembered how much power it held over me and I calmed down.
I desperately wanted to be here, to know more about this woman whose presence lightened up this dreary place.
“Did that happen to you?”
I jerked in shock, nearly hurting her in the process but I caught her. I didn't know she'd stood up and was close to me but her hand was on mine and the contact made me feel… things.
That hasn't happened in fifty decades.
“I'm not dead as you can see,” I smiled at her, guiding her back to the couch, “although I don't know how but my dragon died trying to save my life and for that, I'll never forgive myself.”
“But you –”
“Let's not focus on my sob story, Sunshine,” I stopped her from diving too deep, “what else do you want to do today?”
“I have assignments from school, and I have some research to do. Apparently, I'm weirder than I thought, no magical DNA machine works on me.”
“DNA?”
“It's a process back on earth that is used to trace one's parentage.”
“Oh, I know what you mean now. Do you want me to find you books on how the stone works?”
“No, I need the original book where it all came from.”
The darkness rolled around and turned its back, angry at me as I shook my head.
“You will find them one day, I promise.”
“I'm not particularly bothered about all of that emotional crap,” she bit out, moving a painful inch away from me, “I just need all of this madness to end. I already have a lot to deal with.”
“Is anyone disturbing you?”
“You all have to stop asking me that question knowing fully well that if I report anybody to you, after you hurt them, I'll get my life destroyed!”
My heart broke, she was getting the weak link treatment or something worse than that, as though it was her fault she didn't grow up here.
I knew what to do, I just hated that I'd have to leave my sanctuary to fish out those responsible for hurting her.
It makes no sense for anyone to see her delicate nature and immediately try to hurt her instead of protecting her from our cruel world.
The first time I saw her, that was the first time I left this place. I needed to know who she was, what made her so brave to walk past the demarcated line and deep into my territory.
My sister couldn't believe her eyes or the reason why but Draco told me everything and since then, I've sat in here, gloomy and sad until she walked in again, wet clothes and all.
She was my sunshine and I don't know how that happened so quickly or why I'm scared to tell her what she meant to me.
But Amara, my younger sister said if I can keep making her happy, one day she might do that for me.
That pissed off the darkness and I didn't like the idea either but it was the only way.
If she rejects us…
Stars… I'm already accepting this madness as a part of me.
But then, why won't I?
It controls my body, speaks like my dragon, gives me abilities that should have died along with my Tharagaun, and now, he is obsessed with her even more than I am.
He wants me to give her the book and if I hadn't hidden it where I'd have to get several permissions before releasing it, he would have shut me out a long time ago and given it to her.
It gave me a sickening pleasure that he could do that, break the rules for her and no one would blame me, it wasn't my fault after all.
I'm the crazy beast who lives in the library.
But when I allowed the darkness to yell at everyone to leave, I saw she didn't even flinch.
She didn't move.
She wanted to stay with me.
“Do you want anything else?” I asked, desperate to hear her voice again, or maybe I was jealous of that book that took her attention from me.
“Can I lie on your shoulder? I'm feeling a bit tired.”
I looked at my clock and realised that while I'd been staring at her, an hour had passed.
Her request lit a strange fire in my heart, one that I didn't want to ever quench.
“Let me carry you instead?”
She giggled, the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my existence. Even my dragon's roar the first time he caught me came second to her laugh.
“You wish,” the darkness chuckled, reminding me of my Tharagaun’s pride.
“I don't want people to think strange things if they see us.”
“No one in their right senses will come in here. Except they're begging for a quick –”
“Zade? Come on out of hiding, we have to talk!”