Chapter 100 CHAPTER 100
My life in his hands?
Hmph!
Let's see how long that lasts.
My chest burned with rage as I headed back to the hostel, my mind filled with all the ways the man confused me.
I thought he liked me, I thought I meant something to him.
Gosh, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I should be happy to discover hoe doesn't, it'll mean that I will never hurt my Zade the way my body keeps pushing me to.
It'll mean I'll leave this planet and not have more than one regret.
But no matter how much my brain explained the truth, my heart and body kept feeling like the plug was being pulled right before I wake up from a long coma.
Withholding the tears of frustration my eyes were trying so hard to push out, I went back to the hostel as instructed.
Everyone was back and I smiled sparsely.
Thankfully they saw my mood was soured and left me alone.
I took the drugs the doctor was making such a fuss about and brought it to my nose first.
“What the actual heck is that?” Erin wrinkled her nose, just as I did, pulling it away from my nose.
“The doctor says it'll help them figure out my origin.”
I didn't want them to, not after knowing the little I did and how much pain it has constantly brought me.
And Zade won't tell me all he knows but from the way he acted, it was as though finding out would hurt me.
I already knew it was the Zhar family but I don't know who to ask without getting in trouble.
So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to find out through this weird doctor, if anything bad happens, it won't matter, I'm leaving soon anyway.
So I took a cupful and threw it down my throat and took a large gulp of water to push the horrible taste down.
“I hate that you're going through so much just because your parents thought it a good idea to throw you to another planet. Couldn't they have found some homeless shelter to deposit you or something?”
I shrugged, folding my knees under my chin and wrapping my arms around myself.
Erin went back to her bed for a bit before looking at me again.
"Do you miss it?" Erin asked as she folded her laundered clothes.
"Miss what?" I looked up, untangling myself and picked up a book.
Weapon choosing.
"Your former planet. I mean, I doubt it's anything like here."
She was done now, and was putting them away in her closet, the small wardrobe door making creaky noises.
But her question wrestled something out of my soul.
Did I miss Earth?
I mean I was hustling to go back because here was way more unsafe than there but what was there to miss?
The food was quite versatile, but I didn't enjoy that because I wasn't that rich.
There was so much places to see but I never got to see them.
There was a lot to do, feel, experience, enjoy.
And I was hurdled up in one part of it.
Participating in as little as possible.
Out of fear.
And Momma didn't have that large amount of wealth to keep taking me on vacations like other kids.
"No," I shook my head, "there's nothing to miss."
"Come on, it can't be all that bad?"
Akua’s voice made me look at her and I remembered I had to keep my true intentions under wraps, I will find another way to say goodbye, not words and hugs.
"The rich enjoy the earth, the poor struggle. It's the way things are. I mean, there are a few who break the cycle and they find happiness in different ways and places but it is largely dependent on how much you earn and how often you earn it. I didn't fall too high up the scale. I mean, it's still the same for me here so maybe I'm the problem."
"Naa, you're actually stronger than most of us care to admit,” Erin said. “Just wait till second year when we all struggle at the same pace. Then you'll know how far up the ladder you're in."
"If I make it to second year."
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that.
"You will, you pessimist. So long as I'm here, you must. You saved my family from complete annihilation, there's no way I'm letting you die, even if it means jumping off my own dragon to come get you."
"Then we'll both die!"
She shrugged but her smile was infectious and got to me.
Erin is a good friend, at least that I can add to my blessings in this world that has sucked me in and refused to let go but won't treat me nicely.
Too bad I can't take her with me.
The weekend whizzed by, I didn't go to see Zade because for some reason, I just kept feeling weak and my thoughts were in disarray.
So I slept.
A lot.
Swim training day rolled in and I felt worse than I did earlier but I pushed myself to go to class.
To my annoyance and slight fear, Kovar was back.
In one, hostile piece.
Goodness, was he going to try to drown me again?
Thankfully, he didn't.
In fact, Kovar didn't look at me once during the entire session. Not a glance, not a sneer, not even that mocking smile he usually wore like a crown.
He kept his distance, trained with his group and when our paths accidentally crossed near the pool edge, he moved away first.
Zade's message had been well received and I couldn't help but smile even though I feared he was definitely plotting an indirect way to take me out.
But the relief I felt didn't last because everything else was falling apart.
My body wasn't cooperating. The swim drills that I could barely manage before were now impossible. My arms felt like they were filled with sand, my lungs burned after half a lap and my chi, the thing that was supposed to be recharged and healing me, felt muted.
Like someone had turned the volume down on my entire system.
Master Torrin didn't care about my internal crisis.
"Ferguson, my dead great grandmother swims faster than you and she's been in the ground for sixty years!"
Laughter erupted from the class. Nothing new, the usual.
I pushed through the rest of the session on pure stubbornness alone, finishing last in every drill, pulling myself out of the pool at the end with arms that shook so badly Erin had to help me up.
It was like at the beginning all over again, only I felt like I was dying. Why was I constantly going back to square zero?
"You okay?" Erin whispered as she observed me again.
"Just tired," I lied.
But I wasn't tired, not in the usual way. Something was wrong and I couldn't figure out what.
Sparring was next and Master Varak was glowing with excitement when he saw me walk in. He could see the texture of my skin and instead of sending me to the healer, he paired me up to fight.
Can I hate this man any more than I did already?
I won't bore you with the details. I got paired, I got hit, I went down. Faster than last time. My claws wouldn't come out at all now and my new discovered powers seemed to only work for leeches or Zade.
I sat on the ground after my third loss, not even bothering to get up, just staring at my hands and wondering why the scales on my arms looked duller than yesterday.
That's when I felt eyes on me.
I looked up immediately and my heart lurched at the sight of him.
Florian was leaning against a fence with his arms crossed, watching me with an expression I couldn't read.
I'd missed him and something about his outlook made me scared he was about to take the same route as the Principal, shunning me for some unknown reason.
I know that should make me feel relieved but it only deepend the sorrow I felt.
Everything was falling apart and me with it.