Chapter 23

By morning, I was ready before Elliot arrived and my mom was home to help me prepare for the day as she tried to make me breakfast, but I told her my plans with Elliot so she packed me a small snack for lunch and the doctor's note to turn in at the main office before going to class. I looked over everything I have in my backpack and made my way outside once Elliot arrived to pick me up.

“Morning,” Elliot said when I sat inside his car.

“Good morning,” I replied and sighed heavily.

“Tired?” He asked as he started driving.

“Yes and no. Just trying to prepare myself for the day.” I said as I sat back in my seat and leaned my head back on the headrest.

“Everything will be fine. You’ll just tell them straight forward of what is going on, if you want them to know, and see if they understand.” He tells me.

I turned my head to him. “You know what? I’m going to wait until Saturday and I’m just going to say that I was sick; that’s not lying. I think I can only handle Luis and not deal with everyone all at once.”

Elliot pulled up to Luis’s house and he finally was able to face me, “That sounds like a good plan. Just take one step at a time and don’t worry about everyone. Right now, you need to focus on yourself.”

I nodded as Luis walked up to the car and I suddenly began to feel a little uneasy because I’m recalling everything that we talked about and the things I said. Luis sat in the back seat and after closing the door behind him he reached out to hug me, taking me by surprise because I wasn’t expecting it. He held onto to me for a while and I patted his arm finally as if to show that everything was fine and Elliot started driving off once Luis sat back. They began to debate where to have breakfast while I was also trying to find the words that I wanted to say to Luis.

“So… I’m sorry about all that I said that day. I didn’t mean to worry you afterward and not come to school.” I started off as we pulled up to a drive-thru and I looked down at my hands. “You were right and I shouldn’t have dropped something so heavy at you. I know you said all that because you care.”

“But I shouldn’t have approached you like that without considering the words I said. Elliot told me that my words were far more offensive then they meant to be and seeing your reaction made me realize that I did fucked up. I’m sorry.” Luis replied as he leaned a little forward in his seat to see me.

“All I can say is that I took what you said into consideration plus the things that I said and I went to see a psychiatrist. I went back under medications to help me.” I said as I showed him the small tablets that I brought with me so I can take them after I was done eating.

“I didn’t mean for you-”

“No, it’s fine. At some point, I had to go see a doctor and go back to being on pills again because I need them. I've just been avoiding it all and I’ve just been unstable for a long time.” I told him as I rested my head back and looked up at the car ceiling. “It's good that I exploded like that because I realized that I needed help… So, thank you.”

Luis shook his head, “But I didn’t mean for you to get so upset and hearing you say all that made me realize that I don’t know enough about your condition…” Luis continued. “I promise that I’ll continue to learn more and hope that I can still be your friend while you are going through his.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Elliot grabbed the food that we ordered then headed straight to school finding a place to park in the school lot and it was a bit awkward during the drive after the conversation, but it felt a little better after saying all that. We were able to eat comfortably after some time as I got myself a breakfast sandwich while Elliot and Luis got a large breakfast platter that had far too much food that I probably couldn’t finish eating. I took my pills after I was done and had a sip of my orange juice when I saw Elliot handing me his hashbrown.

“I’m full,” I said as I took it.

“Just eat half of it.” He tells me.

I looked down at it before picking at it, “I’m gonna hate having to take these pills everyday…”

“What exactly are they?” Luis asked.

“Um, antidepressant, and the other one helps for my anxiety,” I answered as I put the hash brown down and sighed as I reached for my drink. “I guess I just didn’t want to go back on pills. It makes me feel like I’m sicker than I already am.”

“But it's to help you,” Elliot responded.

“I know, but still, being on pills just screams mentally sick,” I said as I took a sip from my juice and turned to Luis. “I didn’t have a good reaction to my last antidepressants because of the side effects which was why I stopped taking them.”

“Well, it’s nothing that the doctors can’t help with, right?” Luis asked.

“Yeah… that’s what my doctor told me when I told them about my history.” I answered and I can feel myself beginning to feel anxious that we’re going to have to get off to go to school. “I need to stop by the front office to turn in my absent note.”

“We can go with you,” Elliot said and Luis nod in agreement. “It shouldn’t take long.”

“Alright.” I answered.

Once we were done, Elliot and Luis collected all the trash then took it out of the car to throw it away in the trash bin before making our way to the main office. We waited in line until it was my turn and I handed the slip over to the lady at the front desk as she inputs my notice on the computer before handing me a note back. We stepped outside after we were done and since there was still time before the bell rang we looked for an empty table to sit at. Elliot and Luis were distracted talking about their game so I pulled out my notebook as I decided to start working on the writing-exercise when I suddenly felt someone hugging me from behind.

“Michael!” Jennifer cried.

“Geez, you scared me,” I said as she moved to sit beside me.

“Where have you been?” she asked as Karen and Alex came over to sit with us.

“I was sick,” I answered feeling shy as I closed my notebook. “I’m better now.”

“That’s good. We were curious about what happened since you just disappeared.” Alex said as she gave me a small smile.

I glanced at everyone feeling their attention on me and I wasn’t sure how to respond, “I know…”

“So are we still hanging out on Saturday?” Luis asked, cutting in to grab their attention.

“I am. I just need to know what time we’re planning to meet,” Karen answered.

“I say we go at four or is that too early? How long does a game last?” Alex replied back.

I was thankful for the change of topic and I glanced over at Luis who gave me a soft smile.

“Well, are we going to do anything else afterward?” Jennifer asked.

“What do you want to do?” Luis asked her.

“Well, I don’t know, are we going out to eat? Or are we going to have food there?”

The girls giggled, “Are you only thinking about food?”

“We can always grab food if you are hungry,” Luis tells her, and I can see Jennifer blush.

“That would be nice,” she replied back.

I couldn’t help smile as I watched them and turned to Elliot whispering, “Are you going to do the same thing and feed me?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been trying to give me more food than you usually do,” I said as I stood up after hearing the first bell ring.

“I’m just making sure that you're being well fed. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Elliot said as if offended by my response.

“Yes, please feed him. I keep thinking he’s getting skinnier and skinnier.” Jennifer said, cutting in.

I looked down at myself, “I’m not that skinny.”

“Michael, please, I wish I was that thin,” Karen said as she followed us since we’re all in the same class.

“But you are.” I retorted as I still don’t see anything wrong with my weight before I turned to Elliot. “Is that why you’ve been feeding me? Because the doctor said that I’m underweight.”

Elliot raised his hands defensively. “No.”

I looked at him in disbelief then turned to the rest of them.

“I’m really not that skinny” I said and they all just shrugged their shoulders at me. “Wow…”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Luis said, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. “It only means that with that shape you can pull off any sort of style.”

I rolled my eyes, “Does it look like I care about my clothing style.”

“Oh, don’t get him started on shoes,” Elliot said.

I broke into a smile and I hit his arm, “You, shut up.”

Luis let go of me, “Alright. I have to go that way. I’ll see you guys later.” he said as he continued walking down the hall once we reached our classroom.

I walked over to Ms. Land after entering the classroom to show her the note that the front office gave me to inform the teachers about my absence. “Ms. Lang, is it okay if I do my presentation on Monday?” I asked her. “I decided to do it alone and I haven’t had the chance to finish it…”

“You’ll be fine being in front of the whole class on your own?” she asks me as she hands me back the note.

I looked around at the classroom before turning back to her, “Not really, but I have to at some point.” I answered her.

“Alright. If you want to do that then we can, but you’ll be the first one to go up on Monday and I won’t take any excuses if you can’t. This is a big part of your grade that can reflect on your finales so make sure you're ready for it.” She tells me.

“Okay,” I said before turning to walk to my seat.

During the rest of the class period, the teacher had everyone group together to work on the project so I just sat with Jennifer and Karen while they worked together while I was on my own trying to catch up the two-day missing work assignments. Elliot only stopped by when Jennifer had a question since he’s the student-aid and stuck around for a bit longer until he was called to another table. I watched him for a second before going back to my work and once class was over it felt like I was caught up with my assignments before turning in the work. Elliot had to stay behind so I went ahead to my next class and the rest of that period was a lot quieter because we were doing a lot of reading questionnaires as we prepared for a quiz on Friday. By lunch, I waited for Elliot at the usual spot by the library and we walked together to get in line; where we also ran into Brian. We all made our way to the table and I looked over at my meal as I still wasn’t so hungry after our breakfast, but I still picked at my food taking a few bites.

“Are you going to have practice today?” I asked Elliot.

“Yeah, so does Luis,” he answered. “Are you going to walk home?”

I shook my head, “Mind if I wait for you?”

“That’s fine.”

“Hey, Michael, I heard you were sick. Got a bad cold?” Fernando asked as he came over to sit with us.

“Something like that,” I answered as I looked over at them wondering how they would react to the truth, but turning away shyly.

“Not hungry?” Elliot asked seeing me push my plate away. “Is it because of what they said in the morning?”

“No, no, I’m just not hungry. I meant it when I said I was full.” I tell him. “I have snacks in my bag that my mom packed for me so I’ll eat that if I get hungry while waiting for you.”

“Okay,” he replied back.

Everyone was all talking to each other the rest of the lunch time while I just listened in quietly; talking about the weekend, another talking about their classes, and sports. I sat there watching everyone feeling like I was dozing off as if they were just background nice to me when I felt someone grab my hand and I turned to see Elliot reach out to hold my hand. I gave him a smile as I wish I can just lean over towards him; moments like this is when I wished we could come out to everyone about our relationship, but at the same time it was also nice just having our moments together more private. I didn’t always have to share them with everyone. I reached for my phone to send a message to my mom informing her that I’ll be home a little late and when the bell rang I got my tray to throw it away.

“I’ll see you later on,” Elliot said before he walked away.

I walked to my next class with Alex and it was a bit quiet between us only because we just never had a lot of private conversation between us, but she’s always helpful when we work together in class. It was nice having to go to class with friends because they always make it so lively and being able to calmly walk the same path without the need to engage in a conversation. I barely noticed when the bell rang, we were off to the gymnasium when I began to wonder if the medicine is working or that everything has been going well because I was just feeling calm and the day has just been going well. When I stood there at the basketball court when it was time for P.E., I waited to see what we were going to do for the day and Jennifer was standing beside me.

“Jennifer, do you still have a crush on Elliot? Or is it only Luis now?” I asked her when we were alone.

She blushed and shrugged, “I have to say, Luis. Only because we’ve been talking a lot more now and it seems like he might like me too… And Elliot seemed like he’s more private. I mean, he hands out with us now, but he’s not always too involved in the group. Not really. It’s like he’s just there to hang out with you.”

I thought about this before kicking the dirt on the ground as I thought about how to respond, “I like Elliot.”

“I knew it!” She said clapping her hand together looking like she’s jumping. “See, I was telling them that you guys might be together which is fine and normal, but Elliot just looks so protective around you and then you guys come to school together all the time.”

I rubbed my forehead, trying to hide my blush. “Oh god, is it that obvious?”

“I think so-Wait, are you saying that you guys are official?” Jennifer asked, gasping. “But I thought he was straight.”

“No, no! I meant that I like him.” I said as I tried to calm her excitement.

“Kind of. I mean, the fact that you're always around him is cute and it shows that you're interested in him,” she replied as she shrugged her shoulders. “If you like him then say something to him while you still can.”

I smiled as I listened and glanced around the field. “Luis is a good guy too. Stupid, but he’s nice.”

“So now you're interested in Luis because I am?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No! I’m just telling you that.” I said, laughing. “I don’t like him that way. He can be cool and all…”

“But?”

I shook my head, “No, but.”

“It sounds like there is.”

“Nope.”

“You can say that you have a crush on him. It won’t be a competition since I called dib’s.”

I laughed, “No, I don’t have a crush on him. I swear.”

“Elliot!” Jennifer yelled as he was about to pass by while running the track field. “You won’t believe what Michael said.”

Elliot paused from his run and walked over, confused. “What?”

“Michael has a crush on Luis.” She said as I tried to pull her away from him and I couldn’t help my face going red. “You should tell him that Luis is no good.”

“Jennifer,” I said, before turning to Elliot. “She’s just joking. You should go back or we’ll get you in trouble.”

Elliot looked between the two of us before shaking his head, “That better be a joke. He’s banned from getting car rides for the next two weeks.” he tells me as he slowly walks away. “And tell him to stop hugging you!”

I shook my head as I could hear Jennifer giggling, “That was not funny.”

“Oh, come on. You saw his face?” she asked as she locked arms with me and nudged my shoulders. “Completely jealous.”

I tried not to laugh, and I pulled her along the court. “You’re just getting Luis in more trouble than you think.”

“What does that mean?”

I laughed, “Nothing.”

The bell rang after some time and we made our way back to the locker room to change, but Elliot stopped by before going to meet with his teammates.

“So, Luis?” he asked.

I smiled, “It was a joke. You know I don’t like him.”

“He’s still banned.”

“Elliot, come on, you know that I only like you,” I whispered when we were almost alone.

“You better,” he replied as he looked at me, smiling. “We’re going to be in the field if you want to wait at the bleachers or would you rather go to the library? If you go to the library, I can always text you when we’re done and I can meet you there.”

I thought about this before I nod, “Actually, you just remind me about the project. I might go to the library to do some research.”

“Okay. Then I’ll just meet you there afterward.” He told me and I watched him leave.

I made my way to the library going through the aisle to grab a few books that I needed for the project and went to an empty table near the back where it was more quiet. I put on my headphones, hoping some music can help me focus, and began to go through the books taking notes hoping to take advantage of this free time as I can. After some time, while I was distracted studying, I noticed Elliot walking up to the table and I had him wait a bit longer until I was done taking my notes. He helped me out for the presentation by telling me what was important to present and it was great getting his input because I wanted to get a good grade from this project since I’m presenting it by myself.

“Hey, did you take what Jennifer said seriously?” I asked him.

“No, but Luis is still banned from being in the car.” He said as he sat back in his chair.

“I was only kidding,” I told him. “Besides, Jennifer was only saying that to see if you’ll be jealous and you showed it to her.”

“So, that was a test?”

“Kind of. It was cute seeing you taking it seriously.” I commented. “But be careful because Jennifer is hoping that you’ll be interested in me now since I confess to her that I like you.”

He smiled, “You like me?”

I smiled back, “I do.”

“You know that I’m already taken, right?”

I saw him leaning closer to me and I shook my head, “No.”

“Yeah, I’m very much into him,” he tells me as he starts to kiss me.

“Damn. And I thought I had a chance.” I mumbled.

Elliot grinned as he was about to kiss me again when suddenly the lights were being turned off and we looked up confused. “I guess the library is closing…” he said as he pulled away.

“Come on, we should go before they lock us in here.” I said as I started putting my notebook back in my bag and left the books on the table.

Elliot grabbed his backpack before we started making our way outside and accidentally surprised the librarian as she was about to enter her office by the front desk when she spotted us. We left the empty parking lot, seeing that we left the school a lot later than planned, and I walked into my house after he dropped me off. My mom was already home cooking dinner,I guess she was serious when she said that she was going to change her work hours, and while she was busy I finished the rest of my homework for my other classes. We sat together once dinner was ready, spending the rest of the night talking about school and how everything was going before leaving to my room to prepare myself to go to bed.

I was using the notebook to mark every time I took my medicine, and I continued the same routine the next day, but I was by myself waiting for my mom to pick me up since Elliot’s game is at another school today. Saturday arrived, I was sitting in the living room writing on the notebook that Dr. Brown suggested and I was taking my time eating a bagel since I wasn’t too hungry for anything else. My dad surprisingly sent me money, maybe to make up for my decision on not visiting this weekend after our discussion, and I was wondering if I wanted to buy something while I was out today because I never went shopping for myself, but I have nothing that I want or could need.

“Mom, I think I might take an extra pill for my anxiety just in case…” I told her as she passed by to walk to the kitchen. “It honestly helped me while I’m at school, but I’m a little worried about feeling like something could go wrong and I can take it if it’s overwhelming.”

She walked back to me as she thought about it. “Well, if you believe you’ll be needing it then just take one and make sure you take the other pill after coming home before going to bed.” she tells me.

“Okay,” I said as I put the notebook to the side. “I just want to be careful and not have anything happened…”

“I don’t want to stop you from doing what you want and I’m still happy that you want to go out with your friends, but I’m nervous as well... I just want you to be safe.” She tells me as she moves to sit beside me.

I leaned my head to rest on her shoulder, “I’m just overthinking as if something terrible could happen and I know I shouldn’t, but I’ll do better. I’m sorry that I worried you after what happened on Monday and with everything that has been going on with me.” I tell her.

“It’s fine now, Michael. You’re going to start therapy, taking better care of your health, and continuing on what you want to do in your life,” she said. “As long as you keep trying then I won’t stop you.”

“Mom, if it becomes too much again I promise that I will call you.”

“I know, honey,” she said as she pats my head. “You were able to do it on Monday so I’m sure you can do that again if it ever happens.”

“Did Dad ever talk to you about what we discussed?” I asked her.

“He did and he was asking so many questions that I tried to explain to him, but it just didn’t go too well,” she said. “He was questioning everything even when I explained in detail.”

“Sorry.” I mumbled.

“It’s not your fault. Your dad and I just never had good communications and we would always end up arguing. This has nothing to do with you.” she tells me.

“But you were talking about me…”

“Oh no, it wasn’t like that, Michael. Don’t even think that,” she said, turning to look at me. “Yes, we were talking about you, but the argument was not about you. Okay?”

“Okay,” I answered.

She kissed the top of my head, “Now finish eating and get ready. You’re leaving a little early right?”

“Yeah, Elliot and I want some time alone before meeting up with everyone,” I said grabbing my plate to take with me to my room so I can finish eating there while I go through my clothes.

I ate first before picking out an outfit from my closet because I honestly don’t know what I have that'll look good to wear for a social gathering and I thought about maybe I might need some new clothes. I put on casual jeans and a long striped shirt that I was comfortable with and started cleaning up my mess as I’m texting Elliot informing him that I was ready. It only took Elliot ten minutes to come by my house and we were in the living room for some time as he was talking to my mom until it was time to leave. Since we’re meeting at the mall, Elliot and I went to go early so we’ll have a chance to walk around at the stores and we stopped by the bookstore first before seeing the rest of the stores.

“We haven’t come here for a while,” I said, walking down the aisle having my fingers brush along the books on the shelves.

“I know. It’s been a while for me as well,” he said as he was already pulling out books from the shelves.

“Have you finished the books you bought last time?” I asked him.

“Yeah, I just finished them a couple of days ago so I wanted a new one,” he said as he looked at the other books before putting them back.

“You don’t want those?” I asked.

“No, I just wanted to grab one since we’re going to be spending money for bowling and dinner,” he said as he looked at the one in hand and we started walking down the rest of the aisle.

“I can buy that for you,” I said, remembering that I have extra money on me.

“No, you don’t have to do that,” he tells me as he wraps his arms around my shoulders to pull me close. “I’m fine with just this. We can always come back next weekend.”

“Okay.”

“Is there something you want to read?” he asks me.

“Not right now,” I answered. “I don’t read a lot since I never found any that caught my interest.”

“Alright. There’s still time so how about we look around the other stores then text the group to see if anyone is on their way.” Elliot said and made our way to pay.

After the book store, we made our way to any of the closest shops going in to look over the new arrival sections of a clothing store and I looked curiously at the jackets because I don't have many to pick from at home. It would have been a waste of money if I were to buy one since summer is coming up so I walked over to where Elliot stood by at the shoe section and we made our way through to three other stores. I was kind of getting bored at the repeated outfits when I came across two leather bracelets that’s a matching pair: red and blue with floral designs engraved into the leather. I glanced over at Elliot wondering if he'll wear something like this as a couple, but I grabbed them then made my way to pay for it while he was still distracted. I was putting it away in my pocket once it was paid when I felt my phone vibrate and I saw that Luis was calling me.

“Elliot,” I called him as I had to step outside to be able to hear when I answered the call. “Hey, Luis, are you here?”

“Yeah, I'm about to walk inside. What about you and Elliot?” he asked.

“We’re already here. We were checking out the stores.” I told Luis and Elliot began to lead me back to the food court. “We can meet you upstairs.”

“Alright,” he replied before hanging up.

I reached out to grab Elliot's hand trying to stay beside him noticing the food court was packed as we made our way to the escalator that leads to the arcade area and I took a breath just trying to calm myself from feeling anxious. Elliot glanced over at me making sure that I was fine while I gave him a reassuring smile then I saw Luis already with everyone else and we walked over towards them. I glanced around the area seeing the crowd with people talking loudly and everyone was squeezing by each other trying to cross the room; just looking around was making me anxious. I quietly followed as we made our way in line to pay for the bowling rental and while waiting I reached out to grab Elliot’s hand without anyone noticing .

“You’re okay?” He asked as he leaned closer for me to hear over the crowd.

I nod, “It’s just a lot of people and I didn’t expect it to be loud.”

“We just need to pay for the shoe rental and game then we can move from here.” He tells me as he let’s go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders to pull me to him. “Just don’t go anymore.”

I tried to not overwhelm myself as I just focused on staying close to Elliot and waited patiently as I could while hearing everyone debating how to split the pay; as well as the rental shoes. When it was finally our turn to pay we all agreed to pay for two aisles, side-by-side, since we’re a large group and all pitched in each share for the bill. It took us over five minutes to get all our shoes and began to make our way near the end of the bowling aisle where there were fewer people. I felt weird wearing the rental shoes as I looked down at them before seeing everyone else changing their shoes as well.

“How do you even play?” I asked Elliot.

“Never played before?” Brian asked as he walked by me.

“No…” I mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed.

“It’s easy. Grab a bowling ball and try to roll it to those pins in the middle.” Luis said as he went to sit beside me pointed it out to me. “Your main goal is to get the highest score. If you don’t knock all the pins in one roll then you have a second chance. If you roll it that it ends up too far on the left or right side and not be able to knock out a pin, that’s called a gutter.”

I didn’t say anything as I tried to understand then nodded my head as I glanced at the other group beside us on the other aisle and watched to see how they were playing.

“It’ll be fun,” Elliot said, grabbing my attention. “Just don’t pay attention to the score since it’s your first time playing. Knowing them, they’re going to try and make it into a competition.”

“Of course it’s a competition! It’ll be boys against girls.” Fernando said as he brought over some bowling balls of different colors.

“That’s not fair. There are more boys than girls.” Karen said as she was putting her hair in a bun.

“That means one of the guys has to join us,” Jennifer said as she moved to sit down across from me.

“Fine, take Michael,” Fernando said before turning to me. “You're fine with that right?”

“What? Dude, don’t be stupid.” Luis said as he stood up to grab one of the balls. “I'll join them and we leave it at that.”

“Fine,” Brian said as he went to the scoreboard and started typing in our names to show on the screen.

I sighed as I watched while trying not to feel anxious and sat back in my seat, “Who’s going up first?”

“I will!” Alex said as she went over to grab a ball.

Both Brian and Alex played first and I watched curiously. As time passed by each person started taking turns until it was now Karen and I; She helped me grab a bowl since the different colors meant the weight of the balls. I rolled the bowling ball and watched nervously as it knocked down a few pins. I smiled, shyly, and continued playing the rest of the game until the scoreboard slowly filled up showing that the game was almost ending. The first round, we won by more than fifteen points and we played another match, but this time Alex switched places with Brian so I’m assuming no one cares about which team is winning now. I sat by Elliot the whole time and just focusing on the game was a great distraction to help ease me from that anxious feeling I had earlier.

“Michael, your up!” Luis said as it was his turn too.

I got up, reaching for the purple ball that I’ve been using, took a breath before rolling the ball watching it go down and shockingly it knocked down all the pins. I can hear them cheering behind me and I turn around to see Fernando and Luis pats my back congratulating me. I walked back over to Elliot and proudly sat back beside him.

“I did it!” I told Elliot.

“Michael, you got us ahead by ten points!” Alex said as she looked over at the scoreboard.

By the end of the game, we lost by two points only because Jennifer was able to get a strike as well and that jumped their score. We began to return the shoes while debating where to eat one we were done and I checked my pockets just to make sure I still had the bracelets. I glanced over at Elliot wondering when I should give it to him as we left the mall when someone remembered that there was a restaurant across the street and we made our way to meet there. Luis got a ride with us and I laughed when Elliot gave Luis a side glare when he followed me to take the seat behind me at the passenger side.

“Hey, you did good today, Michael,” Luis told me as Elliot started driving out of the parking lot.

“Thanks. Honestly, I still suck at bowling compared to you guys, but that was fun.” I said as I lowered my window feeling hot.

“It’s already past seven. What time are you going to take your medicine?” Elliot asked as he drove across the street to get to the restaurant that we agreed to.

“Well, we’re going to eat so either afterward or when I get home. It’s still a little early.” I answered as I turned to him.

“Alright.” He said as he pulled into the parking lot at the restaurant we agreed to.

The restaurant was a bit crowded when we arrived so we had to wait to be called once a table was available and we did have a large group, but it took almost fifteen minutes for us to sit at a long table. The menu had a variety of platters to choose from and we each took turns ordering after some time as we looked over the menu. I slowly reached a hand to grab Elliot’s from under the table seeing everyone was distracted and slightly moved my chair a little closer to him as he gave me a small smile.

“Okay, you guys, I say we have a bonfire next time we hand out,” Fernando said, calling everyone's attention.

“That would be awesome! We can all go swimming, toast some marshmallows, and sit by the ocean.” Jennifer said, smiling at the idea.

I’ve never gone to a bonfire, I wanted to say, but there were still many things that I’ve never done before like today for example.

“We have to go early to make sure we have a pit,” Alex added in. “Also before the water gets cold because I want to go for a swim too.”

“Should we do it next week?” Brian asked.

“I can’t next week,” I said, remembering that my dad is going to come to visit since I’m not going to his house for now.

“Then the week after?” Brian suggested.

Everyone started agreeing when the waitress came back with our meals handing them out to us as the conversation slowly died down and we all started eating. Each of us started having our own discussion and it was nice over hearing the many discussions that were going on. I mostly ate quietly while Brian was talking loudly to Luis about a movie trailer he saw and I couldn’t help overhearing since it was a film I haven’t heard about yet the storyline was catching my interest.

“When does that movie come out?” I couldn’t help asking.

“In two month. Have you heard of it? I think it’ll be a top box for the summer.” he tells me. “My brother and I might even get midnight release tickets to see it.”

“You want to see it?” Elliot asked, joining in. “Michael really loves sci-fi films.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, “It sounds interesting.”

“Dude, try to see it in the movie theater when you can. I’m sure it will look awesome on the big screen.” Brian tells me.

I turned to Elliot and he was already chuckling, “Alright. You don’t even have to ask.” he tells me.

“Oh, is that a movie date?” Jennifer asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Of course. It’s not the first time we’ve gone on a movie date.” Elliot answered as he reached for his cup to drink.

Everyone stopped to turn to us then Jennifer turned to Karen saying, “I told you!”

“Man, that’s what I thought too,” Fernando said as he turned to me. “See, I knew you were gay, but Elliot?”

“No, stupid, why else would they always be together at school,” Brian added in.

I could feel my face growing red as the waitress came over asking us to quiet down and I glanced over at him. “You could have warned me,” I mumbled.

“We were going to say something at some point,” Elliot sighed as he looked over at me. “I kind of got tired of hiding it all day.”

“I knew it.” Jennifer cut in.

“You didn’t. We were already together way before you noticed us.” I said turning to her.

“What? For how long?” both Alex and Karen said at once.

“Come on, you guys. Let’s quiet down or they’ll kick us out.” Luis said.

I sighed sitting back in my seat and I turned to look at Elliot, “Honestly it’s been a short time. Three months, I believe.” I answered them.

“It’s because you guys are always together.”

“Everyday.”

“Okay, okay. This conversation is done.” I tell them as I try to continue eating. "We're dating and now you guys know."

“Wait, no, we have questions,” Jennifer said.

“Nope. I’m not answering them.” I said, trying to ignore their excitement.

We continued eating after the conversation slowly changed to a new topic and we stayed for a while longer after we paid the bill. Elliot led me outside as we all decided to go home and we offered Luis and Jennifer a ride home; Jennifer was distracted talking with Luis and during the drive. I looked out the window just enjoying the cool breeze as I lowered the window to see the night sky over us and I was just taking everything in on what happened today. After everyone was dropped off at their homes, I reached out to hold Elliots hand staying silent as we arrived at my house and we sat together in his car.

“How was it today?” Elliot asked.

“Good. I had a lot of fun.” I said, smiling. “It was awesome when I knocked all those pins down and I thought I was going to suck at bowling since I never played. It was a lot of fun going with everyone and I think it’ll be fun when we go to that bonfire too.”

He smiled, “It wasn’t so bad hanging out with them after going to Fernando’s house and they all get along well.”

I thought about this before turning to him, “So, why did you tell everyone about our relationship?”

“Sorry, I just went for it. I thought about it when we were bowling and how tiring it was to hide our relationship from them.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “I hope you're not upset by it.”

“I’m just surprised. I mean, if you're completely comfortable to say it then I’m happy that you are comfortable to say it.”

“Well, I’ve held it in long enough that I’m comfortable to share it with other people now.” He tells me.

I chuckled, “I thought you were already comfortable since you hug me or hold my hand in public sometimes.”

“Well, it's mostly when we’re together, but I didn’t think I was that expressive in public.” He said.

I was quiet for a second as I thought about this before turning back to him. “Don’t forget to tell me how it goes with your parents tomorrow and I hope it’ll go well for you.”

“It’ll all be fine. I’ll call you afterward.” he said as he ruffles the top of my head.

I got out of the car after we finished our conversation and went inside making my way to the kitchen getting a cup of water to take my pills after seeing my mom in the living where she was waiting for me. I went over to sit beside her as she lowered the volume on the television while I told her about my evening out and the plans for the beach that everyone wants to do. It felt like a nice talking about my day and I was glad that I went well that my anxiety didn’t overcome my mood while I was with my friends. By morning, I spent the rest of the day with my mom helping out by cleaning the house, going to the market, and figuring out what to cook for dinner.

I barely checked my phone since Elliot was going to be spending his time with his brother before talking with his parents and I received a few messages from Luis just checking in on me. He’s been messaging me more frequently since Monday, but I’m sure that the talk with him might have caused more concern over me and I could only hope that I won’t have to sink so low like that day. Maybe I should find more time to hang out with him alone and just show Luis that this won’t affect our friendship. Maybe I can do that if my dad’s visit isn’t long next week or we can hang out again after school.

“So what should we have for dinner?” She asked as we just entered the market.

“Spaghetti?” I asked as I looked away from my phone.

“With some salad?” She asked.

“I guess so… Can we also buy some ice cream?” I asked as she was grabbing vegetables.

“We can grab it once we are done.” She said as she was putting things in the cart. “How do you feel about meatloaf?”

I scrunch up my nose and turn back to her, “When do you ever make that?”

“You don’t know if it tastes good.” She tells me.

“Okay, but do you?” I ask her.

She was quiet for a second then smiled, “I don’t know either. I’m not even sure how to make one.”

"We're not going to eat that then," I said, laughing at her response and pushed the cart as we started going through the aisle. “So when is my next appointment with Dr. Brown?”

“I believe Thursday. I’m still waiting for the insurance to process, but the appointment we agreed to was Thursday after school.” She tells me as she starts grabbing a few things off the shelf.

“Are you sure that we can afford it?” I asked her as I looked at the cart curiously to see what she was getting.

“Don’t worry about that. Insurance can cover it and if not I will pay for it no matter what.” She tells me.

I gave her a small smile, “Okay.”

We continued on through the market until we arrived at the frozen food aisle, grabbing a tub of chocolate chip flavored ice cream, and after paying we started heading out of the market. We didn’t get home for another thirty minutes and as we finished unloading the bags mom started to cook dinner while I went over to my room to lay down for a while. I felt tired, maybe because I’ve just been more active than I usually am, and the rest of the evening went by fast. I fell asleep for a few minutes then after dinner we spent the rest of the evening watching a movie when I finally got a call from Elliot.

“Hey,” I answered, getting up to walk to my room. “How did it go?”

“Not so bad. There was a bit of a discussion with my mom and she was confused when I told her that I’m bisexual so I had to explain it to her.” He sighed heavily. “Luckily, Jason was able to help out and it seems like my parents want to meet you when you're comfortable to visit.”

I moved to sit on my bed, “Do they?”

“Don’t worry. They’re just curious about you and I guess because I've never been in a relationship they just want to know who you are.” He said.

“Alright. Just let me know when will be a good time to meet them.” I said as I picked at my blanket.

“I will see, but it doesn’t have to be right away.” He reassures me. “I'm just going to give them time to process it and then we can set a date.”

“Okay,” I mumbled.

“So, how was your day?” He asks, changing the subject.

“It was fine. I went out with my mom to the market and just to be home.” I said, laying down.

“Sounds relaxing.”

“It kind of was. My mom said that my next appointment for therapy is on Thursday which is good because you have a home game on Friday right?” I asked.

“Yeah, are you planning to come to watch?”

“I want to,” I answered.

“Okay. I think Jason might come to visit again so maybe we can go out with him.”

“I don’t mind. Your brother is really nice.” I tell him.

“Hey, if you are ever curious about college because I know you were worried about that. We can always go to my brother’s campus for a tour in the summer. See what they have there and see the campus ground.” Elliot said as I remembered that I had expressed my concern about finishing high school.

“I don’t know if I want to go to a university… I think I might just go to a local community college since I don’t know what I want to study.” I said as I pulled the covers over myself.

“You don’t have to worry about what college you'll be attending if you focus on your associate's degree first before doing your major.” He informs me.

“It’s not about that…” I said and slowly moved to sit up as I tried to find the words to tell him. “I just can’t do all of that. As much as going to a university would be nice, I don’t think I can handle moving away from home, taking advanced courses that they do in a university and I don't even think I have good grades to even get accepted. It's just overwhelming thinking about it all right now.”

“You might change your mind next year.” He commented.

“Maybe, but that’s how I feel now.”

We didn’t say anything for a second and I can hear him yawn over the phone. “Fernando texted me earlier, surprisingly.” Elliot said.

“Really? What for?”

“He asked if I can help him fix his car, but I’m not a car mechanic so I told him that I wasn’t much help.” He tells me. “I didn’t think he would ask me for help or be that we’re close enough.”

“Isn’t that good? I mean, he trusts you enough to message and ask.”

“That’s true. I guess I wasn’t expecting it and I don’t talk to people aside from the volleyball team or from my classes.” He said and yawned again. “I think I’m going to bed. I woke up too early since I was a little nervous about talking to my parents and I went out for a run.”

“I thought you weren’t nervous?”

“I thought so too, but then I got a bit nervous before going to bed last night because I got curious about what they would say and maybe understand why I’ve been going out more than I usually do.” He said and sighed. “It kind of felt like maybe I overreacted after seeing how it went, but I think they still need some time getting used to it.”

I smiled as I listened, “It's not always as easy as it seems.”

“No, it’s not.” He agreed.

“Alright. I’ll let you go so you can sleep.” I said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay. Good night.” He said before hanging up.