16-Tell Me Everything

**TW: Abuse, rape**

**Ezra**

Isabella has been quieter and more distant since Kain's visit. We did not have a single issue with her for the rest of the evening, but she appears to be upset. After a long, hot shower, we got ready for bed, and I held her close.

"Is something upsetting you? What are you thinking about?" I want to make sure she is in a positive mood when she falls asleep.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting recently. I didn't use to be like this. I'm always so angry, and every little thing gets under my skin. I don't even process things before I speak anymore. I've been thinking a lot tonight, especially while being punished. I've decided to sell my business." Isabella's words come as a shock to me. I think it is a good decision for her considering the amount of stress she has. This will help her recover and take time to focus on herself.

"I know how hard you worked to build your business, but I think that is the best choice. You do not have to apologize, Isabella. We knew you had a lot on your shoulders; it made us want you even more. You are a resilient woman. I believe you will go much further after you care for yourself." I run my fingers through her hair as we talk. I can tell it relaxes her.

"I can't thank you and Capo enough for being patient and taking care of me. The least I can do is be respectful," I have to remember to thank Kain for putting Isabella in timeout. She has not been distant; she has just had a lot to think about.

"Thank you, love. We only want you to be healthy and happy." I enjoy this sweet mood she is in, "I need to ask you something."

"Okay, ask away." She seems like a completely different woman compared to the one in the dining hall. Not in a bad way, but she is being much more mature.

"Kain said someone conditioned you to enjoy pain. Did something happen to you while you were younger?" I hope whoever made her this way is already dead because Marcello will go after them if not. Isabella takes a deep breath before she begins.

"My mom used to have men in and out of my life until I was about thirteen. She used to have a gambling problem, and we ended up broke. We lost everything. One of the guys she messed with welcomed us into his home when I was almost fourteen. At first, he was kind and generous. Then one day, he wasn't. So many of the men who came into her life felt like they had the right to physically discipline me just because they were hooking up with her. Most of them would take things from me, which is harmless, but it wasn't their place. Others would give a normal spanking. It was the last man who really affected me. He never did punishments with mom around because he said I wouldn't learn my lesson if she was getting in his way. I would have to turn off my brain somehow until he was finished with me. It eventually got to the point where I was no longer crying. By the time I was sixteen, I would purposely disobey him because I started craving the feeling. Instead of pain, it felt good. Then, it felt too good. And he knew it.

I had no sexual desires for him, and I didn't find him attractive at all, but I became hooked on the feeling he gave me. My mom walked into my room once when she came home from work early. He was using a belt on me with my skirt pulled up. My thong was all I had on under it. It wasn't enough to do it over my clothes like he did when I was fourteen and fifteen. I didn't notice her walk into the room, even though I was facing the door. I didn't hear her screaming at him until I was covered with a blanket. I guess it took seeing me bent over with my bare ass showing as a physically matured young woman to realize how wrong it was. I can't help but feel like she was less mad about the abuse and madder that he had another woman in that position. She still didn't leave him until after I turned seventeen. Shortly after my senior year, I moved across the country to attend college here in Florida. I haven't seen or heard from Vincent since my Freshman year of college. He made a trip all the way here from New Jersey to give me a surprise high school graduation 'gift.' It was the only time he did something different, but it was the last time he gave me that feeling." She used air quotes when she said gift.

I am at a loss for words. I know Kain said someone made her this way, but I never expected it to be this bad. My chest is tight, and it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. She does not realize this disgusting man had her in her subspace. Vincent is a dead man.

"Please say something." She sounds like she is about to panic.

"What did he do differently?" I silently pray it is not what I think it is.

"As I said before, it wasn't enough to whip me over my clothes, so my pants were down. I reached that point where I just felt so good. I wasn't paying attention to anything else going on around me. That's when Vincent must have pulled down his pants and took my virginity." Took her virginity? He raped her! Groomed her from a young age and planned this.

"Isabella, that monster put you in your subspace and raped you. He did not just take your virginity." She stays quiet for longer than I like, but I give her time.

"That was a subspace? I never knew there was a name for it. And I didn't know a subspace could be reached with lashes. I don't think I can call that rape, though. I never told him to stop." She has no idea.

"You could not give consent while you were in your subspace. You probably have no idea how long he was raping you until you started coming down from your high. That is why we use simple safe words, and if you do not give us the word 'green' when we ask, we will not continue. We will make sure you are in your bed as you come down." It is so important for her to know these things. If she ends up leaving us, I want her to know so that she can be safe.

"But when I realized what he was doing, I stayed quiet." I do not know if she doesn't want to feel like a victim or if she just does not understand.

"You were quiet because you could have been in shock or fear. Would you have agreed to sex before you reached your subspace?" She exhales heavily.

"No, I wouldn't have agreed to that. I really wanted to wait until I was married." If my heart was not shattered before, it is now.

"There is your answer, love." We stayed quiet for a few minutes as we gather our thoughts.

"Are you close with your mother? I know you moved back to Jersey for a while." It is nearly painful to think about her mother and how she allowed this.

"We aren't close. I was rarely around her because I buried myself in my work." I have handled some gruesome things in my life, but imagining Isabella getting harmed is torture for me.

"Who else knows about this?" I feel like Alice would have warned me about this.

"My mom and Vincent. I guess it's been our dirty little secret." Isabella has never told another person. I am thankful she feels safe enough to talk to me.

"You never told Daveed or Alice? Did Daveed ever give you hard enough lashes?" She gives me a short chuckle.

"No, not like how you're imagining anyway. I think that could be another reason why I didn't get to my subspace with him. He was dominant, in a way, but like you and Capo, he would never leave any marks on me. At least not on purpose. I would tell him to do it harder. He would try, but he couldn't get himself to do it as hard as I preferred. I was so desperate for that feeling, I settled for as much as he was willing to give, and I knew I was safe with him." It relieves me to know Daveed could not hit her too hard.

"You never tried to self-harm, have you?" Isabella shakes her head.

"I could never do that to myself. I can understand why others like me do harm themselves, though. The craving for it is worse than any other craving I have ever had. Everyone is so worried about cocaine, but this? This is my true addiction." It is sad, but I know it is true.

"Thank you for telling me everything. I know it is not easy to be vulnerable." I kiss her head and tighten my hold on her.

"You made it easy." Isabella yawns.

"Get some sleep. Goodnight, love." She closes her eyes and falls into a deep slumber.

I quietly sneak out of her bed and go to Marcello's office because I know he's staying up late to go over paperwork.

"Isabella told me what happened. It is terrible, Marcello." He is ready to kill, as I knew he would be.

"Tell me everything."