Drowning in regret
(Dean)
I look at them, and I can't help but smile even though Bella's words still had me forlorn.
There's a warm glint in their eyes that tugs at my heart, so innocent, so pure. It just manages to push the sadness away, leaving me unexpectedly warm inside.
It's fascinating in a way that's hard to explain.
Quickly they come running up to me with a big smile even before Bella could utter a word.
I know she isn't taking this so well, I understand but I honestly didn't mean for any of this to happen.
My little princess stares at me with little wonder, while Javier clings to my hand. "Did mommy tell you?" She blurted out, looking between Bella and I.
I don't miss the excitement in her voice, and Javier nods, pinning his eyes on me.
Confused, I take a quick glance at Bella, and she rolls her eyes, instinctively folding her fingers into her palm.
She only does that when she's nervous, maybe it's not something she'd want me to know.
Mirroring my hesitation, Javier asked. "You'll be our friend, right?" Javier chimes in, his eyes darting at me.
I'm clueless about what this is, but being their friends? Of course I want to!
"Jav, Jas?" Bella's voice cuts through the moment, causing them to turn to face her. "It's past your bed time sweety, you have school tomorrow," she says in a low tone, trying to coax them.
I look up at Bella and she doesn't spare me a glance, her eyes are on the twins, hoping to shift their minds.
But it isn't working.
Jasmine crosses her arms, and turns to me. "Don't you want to be our friend?" She asks, her eyes slightly watery.
"Or are you busy like mommy said?" Javier asks, his ocean blue eyes pinned painfully on me.
Caught in the spotlight and not knowing what to say, I don't want to rile Bella up but then looking at their expectant faces, they look like they're really hoping I'd say yes to them.
I just can't bring myself to dash their hopes, or perhaps it's just my fatherly instincts that's starting to kick in.
Deciding to follow my heart and what's best, I paste a smile, squatting to their level. "Of, course I'd be your friend," I watch their face break into a contagious smile and it warms my heart.
Jasmine wraps her hand around my neck and Javier follows suit. "Thank you handsome mister," they squealed.
I chuckle at that, rubbing their backs gently I reply. "Dean's the name, you can call me Dean," I retorted, raising my eyes to meet Bella's.
She's watching on, unable to react but I know she's not okay with this, not in the slightest…
But she didn't get in the way either.
And when I try to hold her gaze a little longer, she looks away, folding her arms.
Javier breaks free from the embrace and moves to Bella, his eyes gleaming. "Mommy mister Dean is our new friend now," he breaks the news like she wasn't standing there just now.
Standing up, I stifle a chuckle, kids and their heartwarming sense of humor.
But regardless of how this played out, I'm definitely going to ask Bella if she's willing to let me be what they want.
I don't want her thinking I'm using our kids to my advantage.
Bella slowly nods, managing a small smile, one that mask how she truly feels. "That's— that's good, baby,"
Jasmine flashes me a smile, tilting her head playfully, like she's got something else to say. And then she places her hands on her mouth, as if covering them, attempting to whisper.
"Come inside, mommy made lasagna, it's so sweet!" she divulges, practically bouncing, her voice comes out in a not so whisper tone.
I giggle, deciding to play along, I lower my head to her ear and then l bring my hand to my mouth, the exact way she did it. "I'm sure everyone heard that,"
"Oops!" She clamps her hand to her mouth dramatically, eliciting a chuckle from me.
Javier's voice cuts through the moment, his eyes gleams as he nods in approval.
He shifts his gaze to me, seconding his sister. "There's more left, mommy's a good cook, you'll love it!" His smile widens.
Bella eyes me carefully. "No, baby. He was just about leaving, it's late, he needs to go home," she interrupts, she has her eyes on me when she says this. "Maybe next time," the emphasis on 'next time' is loud and clear.
"Oh," Javier gasp, running a hand through his hair.
I nod. "Yes, it's late, I have to leave. Maybe next time," I say, agreeing to Bella because that's the right thing to do.
I don't want to stress her out anymore than she already is.
She smiles at them. "Go back up sweety, I'll be with you shortly," she coax them, ruffling their hair gently. "I need to speak with him," she throws a sharp look my way.
They nod and off they go.
As soon as they're out of earshot, Bella fixes me with a hard look, she takes a step forward, causing me to step outside the door.
Her eyes are fierce with anger as she seethes at me. "Do not think for a second that you're welcomed here because you're not!" She spat, her voice laced with venom, intended to wound.
"Bella please….,"
She cuts me off sharply. "Stay away from me and my family!" She fumes, slamming the door to my face.