Still in limbo
(Dean)
With Mom subtly bringing up Ashley at every slightest opportunity she gets, and Aunt Elena gushing about how perfect we'd have been together. Honestly, I'm at loss at what to do with her and her overbearing attitude, both of them.
Fed up, I excused myself to take a call.
Outside the house, I walk over to where I'd parked my car, a quiet spot for a bit of peace.
The cool night breeze brushes against my skin as I lean on my car, pulling my phone out.
I look at it and I see a text from Humphrey, informing me that a meeting with Clein's has been scheduled.
I stare at the message a little longer, all the while my mind racing with different ways to approach Bella and get her to talk to me.
Meeting her at Clein's seems to be the best way and I can't afford to blow that up.
"Doesn't look like you wanted to take a call, more like you wanted out of that..?" Rih observes as she approaches, giving me a knowing look.
I drag in a sharp breath, pocketing my phone I nod. "They're…. a little too much,"
Rihanna shakes her head, a light chuckle slipping out of her mouth. "Tell me about it," she replies, settling beside me and almost immediately she turns. "And who's she?" She asks, holding my gaze, her voice is calm and subtly inquisitive.
"Ashley?" I ask to reconfirm.
She nods slowly.
I manage a hollow laugh. "The daughter in-law mom would rather have, used to be Bella's bestfriend, you met her at the wedding, remember?" I reply, but my tone doesn't miss the hint of sarcasm in it.
Rih arch a brow, she tilts her head thoughtfully. "It's been a long time, I don't quite remember her, but___," she trails off, her eyes pinned on me. "This sounds a bit weird," Rihanna points out, she looks at me like she doesn't get it.
I adjust slightly. "How so?"
"I'm confused, Dean. Why'd she matchmake you and your ex-wife's best friend?" She prompts, giving me a quizzical look, throwing a hand in the air.
I shrug.
Well, I thought same too at first but Ashley is her friend's daughter, makes sense if she prefers her to Bella, right?
"Uhmm, Ashley's her friend's daughter. And it turns out she was Bella's best friend too," I let out.
Even though sometimes I find it weird that Ashley would easily cut all ties with Bella, her supposed bestfriend? I wouldn't do that to Ethan.
I understand her being unsupportive of Bella's supposed actions but cutting her off?
Well, I don't let that thought linger.
Rihanna nods slowly, still in limbo, her expression shows that she has her doubts but she doesn't say.
Rather she looks at me, holding my gaze a little longer, as if thinking her next words through. "And Bella?" Her voice is low and guarded when she asks this.
I let out a sigh, unsure about having this conversation with Rih. I want to keep this between Ethan and I. But Rihanna, she's family and we're quite close, I know she'd understand me. She always do.
"I think—-," I trail off, gathering my thoughts. "I think I've messed things up, Rih. I'm confused, scared of the outcome, I —- I just don't know," my words stumbles out in a stutter.
Rih's gaze softens, she reaches out for my hand, giving it a comforting gentle squeeze, my eyes lands on our interlocked hands and I inhaled deeply, steeling my mind, I continued.
"I was harsh, I hauled the most despicable words at her, I shouldn't have but I did, I was angry, I felt betrayed and now I regret it," I let the words out, all at once, struggling to keep my emotions in check. "Ethan tried to warn me. And now everything I believed this past years isn't adding up anymore,"
Rihanna doesn't let go of my hand, she listened intently, without interruption, her eyes pinned on me.
"You know, I just…," I pause, a bittersweet smile creeping up my face, my emotions are fraught. "I just found out she had our kids," I divulged, watching Rih's reaction.
Her jaw drops. "Wait, what?" Rihanna gasp, wide-eyed, and quickly her face breaks into a warm, proud smile. "You're a dad?" She asks, her eyes transfixed on me.
I nod, my smile widening. "Two adorable cuties," I reaffirm, my voice steady. "They look so much like me, Rih." I go on and on to gush about them to Rihanna while she listens, smiling from ear to ear.
But as quickly as the smile came, it died on my lips, my reality hitting me hard once again.
Rihanna studies my face, watching me closely. "You fear she won't let you in?" She gives me a quizzical look.
My shoulders slumps. "I've been a jerk, Rih. I've been so hard on her, and now the kids, our kids they're proof that I might've been wrong the entire time," I let out and pause, gathering my emotions. "She can't even stand me, and then there's Calvin… he he's–,"
"Dean, Dean?" Rihanna calls, stepping in immediately, she pause, dragging in a sharp breath. "I get it, Dean, I really do. Look, I'm a woman and no woman wants to be treated as such. But you need to get it together, do what you should've done, clear up the uncertainties, scour for the truth!"
There, my coolest cousin sister is back.
I nod at Rihanna's comment, appreciative of her concern and kind words.
But as we stand there, my mind slowly drifts back to Bella, our kids, not to mention Calvin.
The nagging feeling that Bella's making a new life where I don't fit in anymore scares me to the pit of my stomach.
I get that I was very mad at her, too angry even. But I can't keep lying to myself.
No matter what, I still love Bella, I've always loved her, no one can feel the void she left.