The evil I've done

The evil I've done
(Ashley)

I pace the floor of my hotel suite in Italy, gripping my phone tighter as anger blurs my vision.

This isn't how it was supposed to play out but yet again Dean's making it all about that bitch.

Judy had clearly cut me off, her avoidance, her silence tells me all I need to know, maybe she's having cold feet now, she is.

Dean cutting her out of his life and banning her from coming close had hit her hard, I bet she never expected any of that to happen, it was a big blow.

She can be easily disarmed but not me. I've got nothing to lose.

Dean could ban me for all I care, it changes nothing, he'd always be in my heart, always.

Just a little longer and he'd see I'm all he needs, not her.

So, I planned to hit Bella where it hurts the most, I knew how she enjoyed her private life and space and disrupting it was just a perfect move.

And what better way to do it if not with those photos, it's super convincing, wouldn't even have to break a leg getting the media to believe it, even Dean believed it then, so why not?

I knew who to meet with it as well. Eric Scott, he's Dean's biggest rival, he's hungry for power and he'd do anything to get to the top.

I met with him and it went better than I expected. So, I booked my flight out of the country while the pictures spread like wildfire.

I read all comments and I couldn't have been happier, seeing Bella being bashed and ridiculed like the slut she is makes me excited, seeing her hurt, in pains and ridiculed is all I live for, bitch.

Well first, it'd leave Dean second-guessing if the person behind it was his mother or me but soon enough he'd figure it out, he's smart.

He'd come for us both but guess who's out of the country?

I clench my phone tighter. I thought I had the perfect plan but not until everything gets wiped out of the media like it never happened, I called Eric and he declined all my calls.

Fucking bastard!

And even worse, Dean's out there in a press conference, publicly defending that slut, claiming her, and showing off her stupid brats.

I balled my fist, clenching it till I almost saw red. My whole body trembles with rage.

This isn't how it was supposed to go, Dean's supposed to see she's the problem, not me.

Why do I keep losing to that fucking bitch?

How does she manage to get through it all.

I slam my phone against the couch, my blood boiling in intense anger.

I have risked everything to be by Dean's side, done so much to make him see me.

Dean should be mine, he was supposed to be mine but that slut ruined everything for me, she's taken him from me.

This is all her fault, I hate her, with every fiber of my being.

A hollow laugh tore through my throat, and my eyes darkens. I've come too far to back down.

I won't let her win, never. I'll fight her till the very last.

I'm done with the games, done cutting corners, I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

There's only one way to end this once and for all.

I walk back to the couch and poured myself a drink, imagining how incredibly amazing it'd feel to burst her brains out, watch her blood splash and see her take her last breath.

A wicked and satisfied smile crosses my face as I take another sip.

I wanted Dean and I to be together, but if he doesn't want me, he wouldn't get her either.



(Judy)

"That's enough," Elena says softly, placing her hand on my shoulders for comfort. "You can break down and I will be here to pick your pieces," she says, giving me a gentle nod.

But she's Elena, my sister who'd always support me no matter what, her words doesn't soothe me enough to look past what I've done.

It'll never make up for hurting Dean.

I could feel my chest tighten with guilt as I watch Dean address the press. I've always known he loved her, he'd give up anything to be with her and that was the problem.

She was never the ideal daughter-in-law I had dreamed off, she has a past that isn't good for Brennan, one I couldn't look past, she was a nobody but that didn't waver Dean's love.

At first I thought keeping her out of his life would do him the world good but now even as I listen to Dean talk about her with so much warmth and love, it leaves me thinking, perhaps I've been wrong.

I wanted to hurt Bella but ended up hurting my own son, and now I've lost him.

I look at Elena and let out a strangled sob. "I've been a terrible mother, Elena. I hurt Dean, I realize that now." The word barely escapes my mouth, my voice strained and I could feel my tears gathering.

Her eyes meets mine and I see her face crumple, her lips pressing into a thin line and then she lets out a shaky breath. "We've both been," she admits.

I let out a hollow laugh. "I thought I was protecting him, I thought he was better off without her, I didn't like Bella but it's that even reason enough to break her to this point? To hurt my own son?" I say through sobs and Elena hands me a tissue. 

I clean my eyes and take a deep breath to steady my voice. "I've lost my son, I pushed him away because of my selfishness, I can't even see my grandkids, he won't let me, he wants nothing to do with me, how do I live with this? It'll surely kill me, Elena." Tears runs down my cheeks before I could stop them.

Elena stifles a sob and runs a hand in soothing circles at my back. "I feel just as guilty, I've been too hard on him too, on Rihanna. We lost ourselves trying to control everything, including their lives but not anymore. We'll try to be better, show them how sorry we are, you haven't lost him, don't say things like that, everything will be okay,"

Will it though?

How do I redeem myself in Dean's eyes?

Will Bella ever forgive me for all I've done to her?

And how do I stop Ashley knowing that I lured her into this, fueled her obsession?