No one has to know
(Ashley)
"I said I'd order when my date arrives, get lost." I snapped at the waiter, my anger bursting forth as I waved him off angrily.
"Such a moron," I mutter under my breath as he scurries away.
I take a quick glance at my wrist watch and it's been two hours since I walked into this restaurant.
Anger, fury is nothing compared to what is brewing inside me.
Again, Dean's standing me up!
I dressed my best, all for him but yet he never shows up.
First up when he decided to give dating a shot after so much pressure from his mom and Aunt. He was cool, at least he didn't try to make me feel inferior to her, that slutty bitch.
Even though I'd known, he's only doing this to prove a point, that he has moved on.
But as months turned into years, he'd drifted apart, doesn't show up for our dates, doesn't pick my calls and takes forever to return them.
It's just obvious that this relationship isn't working out. I've tried everything within the past few years to be just like that bitch but nothing changed.
All I wanted was for him to love me the way he loved her, look at me the way he looks at her.
Their love was so deep, so enviable, like all the books and movies. He'd sacrifice anything to be with her.
I was angry, so envious that a stripper had what I couldn't, what should've been mine.
I'd met Dean first at a family function, when his mom introduced him to mine. And ever since then I knew I wanted more, I wanted him, whatever it takes. Even if it means going out of my way to get it done.
But Dean isn't just like every other men out there, he seems unapproachable, he has this aura that exudes power and affluence.
Even though I'm from a wealthy family as well, I just couldn't match up, just couldn't break down those walls around him, upon our second meeting which was well orchestrated by me, he couldn't even spare me a second glance.
But then, an ordinary girl catches his interest, even worse, a stripper.
Judy found out I was head over heels for Dean. And just like me, she'd do anything to make sure Bella's out of Dean's life, she's not her kind of ideal daughter in-law, I am. So, she encouraged me to do anything and everything to see that she's out of his life and I can be by his side, where I ought to be, not that slut.
I knew this was my only chance to get the only man I've desperately wanted and take her out of the picture forever.
I befriended Bella, slipping my way into her life, a deliberate act, just to be close enough.
When I first met her, I'd have seen what Dean saw in her. She was so kind to me, so sweet, had the perfect body, that kind of figure that'd pass and leave people stunned, and that made me even more envious.
Dean proposed shortly after Bella assumed we were best friends and they got married. Like a patient dog, I waited for the perfect timing to strike.
And even when they threw their love for each other at my face, I endured it all. Because I knew my time would come and it did, in the most fascinating way ever.
Dean was shattered when the divorce happened and so was she.
But Judy made everything easier with the divorce and then it was my turn to switch things up, to get Dean to love me, to show him I could love him more than anyone could.
Judy wanted us to take things to the next level, get engaged at least and me pregnant as soon as possible but Dean was no pushover.
He said he wasn't ready and those words always feels like a punch to the guts, a constant reminder of my place in his life.
Getting pregnant is seemingly impossible. We have no sex life, he's either tired or never in the mood because of the long hours he'd been putting in.
And most times, I can't help but feel like maybe he just doesn't want me.
But it's okay, Dean is all l ever needed to love. It doesn't matter if we'd been intimate or not. As long as I have him and him me, we'd be okay, and I can always have a good time with that gigolo if need be, no one has to know.
I just won't let Dean leave me, never!
I don't care if this relationship has turned sour. He'd learn to accept my love, he just needs more time, that's it.
My phone beeps in my purse, cutting through my train of thoughts.
It could be Dean, maybe he's here, my eyes lightens up at the thought of that.
Quickly I pull my phone out. My face falls in a split second as I see a text message, it's from Dean, and as usual it comes off cold, too cold.
"I can't make it in time. Send the bills over to my assistant,"
My grip tightens on the phone as I read the message over and over again, trying so hard to suppress the anger that once again rises to the surface, like furious volcano beneath my chest.
Coldness, neglect, that's all I get from him!
Why can't he treat me just like her?
There's this anger brewing inside me, it's so intense that it almost knocks me out.
Frustrated, I dialed the only number that'd get me out of this nerve-wracking anger. I need to blow off some steam, a good fuck would do the magic.
"Hi, meet me at our usual spot," I say, hanging up before he says a word.
A gigolo, that's what I call him. He'd give me a good time when need be, while I play the doting girlfriend to Dean.
No one has to know.