Dante cut me a sharp glance and focused on me. It was the tension in his stare that brought me out of my daze.
I straightened up in my chair and tucked my hair behind my ear.
We were in my office downtown, at our weekly meeting. These meetings were important and definitely not the kind I should be zoning out in.
Sometimes I forgot that I had an image to uphold around my men. They knew the handle I had on things, and I didn’t show weakness in front of them. That would be a mistake and outside the character of the leader I was.
Not even for reasons like that shit that hit me days ago.
I swore the fucking universe was out to get me. Every damn time I thought I was doing the right thing, something would happen.
What I needed to do was wrap this meeting up as quickly as possible and think about how I was going to deal with my latest debacle.
Until then, I owed my guys the focus they deserved because I knew how hard they worked.
Besides, billions of dollars, assets, and services were the subject of our discussion. It wasn’t like we’d met up to play poker or sit around like fucking schmucks.
“I’m going to agree to the lease and return on the school and deny any involvement with the church,” Alex declared. He’d been talking about the proposals that had been sent to us from the city council for a complex in the old district.
“Why not the church?” I asked. “The church runs the school; it’ll be odd to deny a lease on the church.” I was surprised my brain could process that.
“Because those fuckers think they’re clever.”
Dante and Gio laughed. Jude, however, brought his hands together and started cracking his knuckles. Jude and Alex were brothers and nothing alike. I couldn’t even tell they were brothers because there was no resemblance whatsoever apart from the dark hair on their head. That was it. All of us here were full blood Italians, but Alex looked more like he’d come from eastern Europe.
Their temperament was completely different too.
“Why do those fuckers thing they’re clever, Alex?” I was real interested to hear it and couldn’t help but chuckle too at the comment.
“It’s a political move. Jason Wainwright wants to run for governor of Illinois. If he gets control of the school and the church, he gets more power. More power means more votes. The church was the goal, and the school a fucking pawn to make us think they want to preserve things as they are.” Alex smirked, and his brown eyes twinkled with pride.
Jesus Christ, I didn’t even want to contemplate how it was he knew that. But it was things like this that made me glad for the setup I had.
The original set up had already been altered when it came down to choosing who would take over from Raphael.
It was between Luc and me. I became boss and as the Morientz family consisted of Pa, myself, and Luc, things would be altered even more.
Altered to the way I wanted things.
These four guys were my crew. The Four, my four horsemen.
Dante, Gio, Alex, and Jude.
They were the crew you brought in when serious shit needed to be done.
Sitting together like this they looked like a bunch of ex-military guys with the height and muscle to do extensive damage. They even wore their dark hair military short. I was the only one with long hair.
My four were all Capo’s, while Pa retained his title of consigliere and gained the title of underboss. Second in command to me.
On a more business level I gave the guys more specific duties.
Jude and Alex took care of business development and new business ideas. If people wanted to speak to me, they had to go through them first.
Dante and Jude on the other hand had a handle on the money in whatever capacity that was required. Whether it was investments, or otherwise. Otherwise, meaning keeping things legit. Clean and off the radar from cops, and even worse feds.
All serious stuff but our love for motorcycles had brought us together.
Pa was in Italy at the moment so when we met up like this it reminded me of way back when, when we used to meet and talk about motorcycles. We still did that. I still fixed bikes up and did all kind of crazy shit to modify them. I even made a small fortune selling them on. It was a good distraction, but times were serious now. Three years ago the time came for me to man up and be leader.
When we’d teamed up years ago, I doubted that they would have thought they’d be the next hierarchy to the don of the Chicago Mafia.
A.K.A me.
Sometimes I had a hard time believing it myself. Not that I’d never dreamt of it. When I’d dreamt of the position, I kind of saw myself as the merciless bastard I used to be.
I wasn’t like that anymore.
Many things had changed me.
The loss of my wife was a significant event in my life, and the shit that happened after, but then there was the way that my own brother whipped himself into shape and lived the good life. I had kind of seen him at my side in all this, but he’d given it all up for a girl.
Lucian had turned his life around for Amelia, and I guess for himself too.
I was happy for them.
It made me reflect though. On things I shouldn’t.
Things like Ava.
“What’d you think boss?” Alex asked with a cocky smile. The bastard knew what I thought but wanted to hear my approval. He was the youngest of us and sometimes that youthful need to be rewarded came out in him.
“I think that’s fucking awesome thinking, and I’m glad it’s your job and not mine. I doubt they’ll be happy with that decision,” I smiled.
“Love it or leave it, boss.” Alex chuckled and bumped fists with Jude, who nodded.
“Boss, these fuckers really don’t know who they’re messing with,” Jude added.
I grinned at their bravado.
“Great,” I answered and leaned back against my chair. “Anything else we need to discuss?” Anxiety was starting to get to me.
“One last thing,” Alex added.
“God, it’s like you save up all the shit on a weekly basis.” Gio frowned.
“Relax, bro, I’m sure she’ll wait for you,” Dante jumped in, shaking his head. “Did you see her last night at the restaurant?” he asked me, but I didn’t know who the hell he was talking about.
“Who?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
Dante raised his brows. “The Swedish chick with the big tits. Looked like she just jumped out of an erotic fantasy.”
Nah, I still didn’t have a clue. Of course, I wouldn’t because while I’d been at the restaurant, my mind was still fixed on seeing Ava last week at the cemetery. Today marked a full week, and I still hadn’t gotten out of that damn funk that took me.
“She’s the new waitress at the restaurant.” Gio leaned in and looked me over with curiosity. “I totally have to give Dante credit for his good sense and taste. Bring in better-looking women, and the customers will come too.”
“That’s right, man.” Dante nodded.
He ran the restaurant/ bar that we all loved to hang out in. It was a gift. I’d given my men a gift each when I took over the business. That was one of them. It was for their loyalty. I’d learned that trust was hard to come by.
The thing, too, was while I showed my trust for them, there was always that niggling voice in the back of my mind that told me one of them had betrayed me.
The safe house Marissa had been in was top secret.
Goliath was a man who could have found her, but I knew he must have had help to get to her as quickly as he had.
This was the case of me keeping my friends close but my enemies closer.
“Okay, I don’t remember anything much from last night,” I confessed. “But I have things to sort out, so let’s hear it, Alex. Last item of discussion.”
Alex smiled wider. “Two words. David Shipel.”
While Dante smirked and Gio widened his eyes, I steepled my fingers and straightened.
David Shipel. “As in cigar and tobacco company David Shipel?” I asked.
Alex smiled. “The one and only.”
“What does he want with us?”
In addition to Alex’s role as business development manager, he was my liaison for new business ideas. Jude supported him in this role, so I knew the brothers must have talked about it before the meeting. I could tell from Jude’s cocky manner.
“He wants to hire the shipping company. He’s starting a new brand of cigars and wants to use us as we can provide the perfect facilities and service for him,” Alex explained and looked quite proud of himself, as he should. Like the others, he knew the direction I wanted to take the business.
Sure, we were mobsters, but we were the kind that had benefitted from years of cleaning up and were on the tail end of success where we were all stinking rich and didn’t need to be running around like criminals.
Still the most ruthless bastards anyone could ever come across, and we owned our own in defending what was ours, but we didn’t need to do shit that would land us in the slammers.
This… David Shipel’s proposal was exactly the kind of business I wanted to attract. It kept us legit and continued to keep anything else we may have going on in the back under the radar.
“Good work.” I nodded. “When does he want to meet?”
“On your word, boss.”
I sighed. When would be a good time to do this? I needed a clear mind. Maybe a few days. “Friday at noon. Let’s meet back here Thursday briefly to discuss the accounts and stock take for the companies.” I’d actually wanted to talk about that today, but accounts and shit like that bored me. I could get someone else to do it, but this was our money. I needed to know where it was going and what it was doing.
“Friday.” Alex winked.
Friday would give me the rest of the week to clear my mind. By Thursday, I should hopefully resemble something like myself.
“Meeting adjourned,” I declared.
Jude and Alex were the first to go. Dante and Gio remained sitting, just like I’d predicted.
I stood up and looked from one to the other, who were both giving me that tentative glare.
“What? What’s with you two?” I raised my brows.
Now they looked at each other.
“I can’t believe you would ask us that.” Gio tilted his head to the side.
Dante pulled in a breath and ran a hand over the sharp black spikes of his faux hawk and rested on the edge of his beard near the tattoo of his cross.
We each had a cross. For our fallen ones. It was to remember them. He wore his for his sister. Gio his best friend. Jude and Alex wore theirs for their older brother.
Me… for Marissa.
If anyone ever knew the rocky marriage we’d had, people would question me. They’d wonder why I’d stayed with her for so long. Why I didn’t fight harder to be with the woman I should have been with.
It didn’t matter now though. I knew why I wore the cross. I wore it because of the deep guilt that would haunt me forever, and my sorrow for losing her.
Wallowing in sorrow wasn’t me. Not one bit. But there were exceptions to every rule.
This time of year always brought out the fucking worst in me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I held up my hands and grabbed my biker jacket to shrug into.
“Well, you’re going to have to.” Dante straightened. Only he could get away with making such a demand of me.
The only person I actually put my whole trust in in this world was my brother. Not even my father, who was a man who could be trusted with your life.
Dante and Gio, I guess, were close to me, and if I had to bet, I would bet that I could out rule either of them as the ones who’d betrayed me.
But out ruling could be my downfall. Sometimes, though, the shred of humanity left in me lowered my guard so that I could see genuine concern from guys I could call friends.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I shook my head slowly. It was best not to talk about it at all.
“She’s going to think it’s weird when she sees your name on the paperwork, and she’ll wonder why you didn’t see her or even talk to her about it,” Dante launched in. Gio nodded.
I let out a slow ragged breath and sat back down. They said what I was thinking. What I’d damn well knew.
“Look, it shouldn’t matter. A name’s a name,” I spoke more to myself than to them.
“Really, Claudius? And, God, are you going to allow her to throw down half a mill and take out a loan?” Dante frowned.
I looked down at the marble floor and got lost in the soft gray and beige hues.
This was so messed up. Owning the business was great. Owning over seventy percent of the businesses in Chicago was a dream. I’d inherited everything like some damn king.
It was just things like this that sucked.
Last Thursday, as in four days after I saw Ava, Alex got in a business proposal from the bank for the east side buildings near the river. The proposal was from Ava.
Thank you, universe.
It felt like a slap in the face.
Her family owned Delizioso, a successful Michelin-starred Italian restaurant, which they’d handed down to her, and now she wanted to set up a chain to include another branch in Chicago.
She’d written the whole damn proposal, which looked fantastic, but I really doubted she knew the proposal would get to me.
That property was listed as being leased by Eidlewoods Commercial Estate. It looked like the standard commercial realter. It was one of ours though.
One of mine.
It was only last week that I’d vowed to stay away from her. Last week was goodbye forever. It really was. I’d made up my mind and was going to do it.
I knew it was wrong to keep doing the same old shit to myself every year, and I didn’t want to entertain it. I didn’t want to tempt myself and end up doing what I’d done four years ago.
The damn universe, however, had other things in mind for me.
“No. Short answer.” I returned my gaze to them.
They only knew part of the story between Ava and me. From what they knew I was sure they’d guessed that my relationship with my ex-sister-in-law was less than conventional and heaps more than what I showed to the world.
I’d never said as much, but my silence said everything.
“It’s been seven years since Marissa’s death, Claudius,” Dante pointed out. His expression softened.
“And to our knowledge at least four years since you actually saw Ava,” Gio added, giving me a knowing look. I didn’t miss the emphasis he put on the word saw, nor the higher pitch in his tone. These two knew I’d more than just seen Ava.
“Time can do a lot.” Dante sounded hopeful.
“Time does fuck all,” I replied, because it did nothing for me. I still remembered everything, and still felt the same.
The guilt over Marissa was still there, and the reminder that I couldn’t be with Ava. I closed my eyes at the thought and the memory of the last time I was with her.
“Time does fuck all if you allow it to do just that. Take it from me. We all share the same kind of pain. Remember.” Gio’s face hardened.
I pressed my lips together and ran my hand over my beard. “She’s better off not knowing me, Gio. I fucked up her life enough.”
It all started out with a guy who liked a girl. She looked like an angel to him.
I was the guy, Ava the angel. I’d been so wrapped up in her that I didn’t see the trap Marissa set for me. I got caught in a game I didn’t want to play, and somehow, the life I’d thought I was going to have turned upside down. It turned into this world where I got married to Marissa and Ava hated me.
Of course, things between us had been awkward while I was married to Marissa, but they became a colossal mess after she died. Yet the damn universe kept throwing us together at times when I least expected it. Like now.
Gio stood, then Dante.
“Think first, okay? Things may not be as they seem.” Dante tipped his head into a curt nod.
He could be right, but fact was fact, and I actually thought things were exactly as they seemed. Because of me Marissa was dead, and Ava could have died too.
Time served as a reminder that that motherfucking psycho Goliath still walked free somewhere in this world. As did the damn Manellos. Joe Manello and his crew.
That fucking asshole Joe had set me up to work with Goliath, and since that day so long ago, all had been ghosts. Off grid like they didn’t exist. Like they never existed, like it was all a figment of a horrific nightmare.
Goliath… I still searched for him.
To me it wasn’t just seven years since Marissa’s death. It was seven years that had passed, and I still hadn’t found him.
Contrary to many beliefs, I didn’t kill mindlessly. No one dared mess with me and mine, and they were right to have that kind of fear. Mindless killing wasn’t me though.
Kill or be killed. That was the rule I lived by.
My last kill, Victor Pertrinkov, was an example of that. That man had been an animal who had to be stopped.
Goliath was the same.
Whenever I saw him again, I would kill him. That was one sure thing. One damn sure thing.
“Hey.” Dante leaned forward and tapped my hand, interrupting my thoughts. “Think of the now.”
“The now?”
“The now. Trust me. I don’t think it’ll be a good look for you if you keep going on like this. At least make contact. It’s for business.”
Business.
Dante got up, and Gio followed. Both looked back at me before they left. Leaving me to my thoughts.
I pulled in a deep breath. Ava enquiring about the lease on the property was indeed business. I knew that. It was simple, and I could treat her like any other business deal. I could pretend until it killed me if I wanted to.
It was just that I feared what I’d do if I did more than just watch from the shadows.
I feared that I’d want more.
The guys were right though. Was I seriously going to allow her to pay out all that money, and to me?
That wouldn’t be right.
Not when I already owed her so much.