Chapter 78 - Changes to it - mduno
Nothing helped me fall asleep again. That's why I started thinking about my friend. After our conversation, she still wasn't at ease and asked me the next day.
"And what if he hits you?"
"In that case, there's no turning back on my dignity. I wouldn't give him a second chance. Some women might tolerate that a bit, but Verónica Vásquez's dignity won't allow it."
"There are men who like to hit."
Her gaze drifted away, lost in some memory. I've treated her bruises many times.
"I dare say this in my innocence about life. There are men who hit and men who don't. It depends on how you present yourself to them. Some will do it regardless, those are mentally ill. Others have never even considered laying a hand on a woman."
"And what if you stop loving the man you committed to for life?"
"I'd find a way to fall in love with him again. If that doesn't happen due to the countless situations life can bring, I'd separate respectfully, without infidelities. I must respect our shared children, but above all, Lorena, I must think of my peace of mind. If the time comes when the man by my side disgusts me and I don't want him to touch me, it's because I neglected one of the five aspects I mentioned before. I let monotony drown us, and if after several attempts there's no desire, it's best to separate in the best way possible."
"You're a saint."
"I'm nothing of the sort, the thing is, I love myself. You should try it."
"So in the end, you wouldn't sacrifice yourself for the kids."
"I didn't say that, Lore. I reiterate, I'll sacrifice as far as my dignity allows. I can't offer my children a loveless home; staying a lifetime beside someone who irritates you means nothing."
"Over time, I'll be filled with resentment, there will be fights, my partner will seek sexual availability elsewhere, and infidelity, shouting, and mistreatment will follow. Tell me, is that the best scenario for my children?" Finally, I saw a light of understanding in her eyes.
"I want a home where my husband is my partner, where he treats me well and our love is evident. That's the best example for my children. I'll fill them with values that are not spoken but shown."
"Respect for myself and my partner; with that, they will be strong men and women in the world. I don't want my children to suffer what I experience if my life isn't the most dignified to show. Staying in a marriage if I'm not happy doesn't work for me."
"I insist, sometimes you seem like you're from another planet."
"You know I don't consider divorce until it's the last resort. I prefer it over raising children lacking self-love by example. And believe me, love is perceived, respect is earned with examples. I wish my children find a partner like the one I have. That's why I say that your values will shape people with principles."
Remembering so much had kept me up very late. My dad woke me up as usual. We traveled to Bogotá by car, staying at a hotel near the airport. We had an early flight, and Luz Marina and I had bought new clothes for the trip.
I changed my swimsuit; I didn't want to show the ugly scar on my back. I had spoken little with Raúl, not daring to ask about Roland, though I wanted to. During the day, it was easier to bear his absence. The nights were a real ordeal; I kept crying for him, missing him, and loving him.
My father made three reservations: one for me, one for him, and one for the couple. The rooms were nice. Knowing I was in the same city as him made my heart race. I sat on the couch, playing with my phone, wanting to hear his voice. I dialed and hung up, then called his house phone.
"Good evening."
"Inés?" I hoped it was her.
"Yes, who would you like to speak with?"
"Don't say it's me."
"Miss Verónica!" I was pleased to hear her excitement.
"The one and only. It might seem strange, but..."
"The sir misses you." My heart skipped a beat. "He's at church, miss."
I opened my eyes and my mouth, he couldn't be talking about Roland, not the man I know.
"He behaves very differently."
"I'm glad for him, Beatriz..."
"Don't talk to me about that witch!" I frowned. "He hasn't changed because of her." There was a knock on the door. "He's changing because of you, he wants to be a better man to get closer to you."
"He should change for himself, not for me or anyone else. I have to hang up, I'm glad you're okay."
"Miss..." I closed the phone. When I opened the door, it was Raúl. I threw myself into his arms.
"I thought you wouldn't come," I said, and he kissed my forehead.
"You have no idea how much I miss you, ungrateful girl."
"I'm not ungrateful."
"I came to see you, and right off the bat, I'll tell you, I don't know anything about your torment. Ever since that idiot ruined my matchmaking plans, he doesn't count on me."
"You were the one who told him where we were."
"Yeah, he threw it down the toilet, now he's screwed."
He made a gesture, very typical of him. I threw him onto the bed as I had on other occasions.
"Tell me, how's it going with Cebolla?" He sighed.
"It's... going well, he's a great person."
"And aren't you?" I laughed. My friend looked thoughtful. "Is something wrong?"
"They left the country for a couple of weeks, they didn't tell me where they went. Apparently, your torment is receiving an award, and then they have to visit some partners."
"He travels as both of his personalities."
"That guy is crazy, Verónica. What makes me angrier is that I like him, despite his madness, his exaggeration, and his arrogance, I like him."
"Inés told me he's going to mass." My friend wasn't surprised. "And you know more about it, right?"
"If you want, we can talk about it."
"So it's true? He hates everything related to the word God, religion..."
"He loves what that part represents." He pointed at me. "Oh, my friend, he's restoring a church. Cebolla mentioned it briefly, he came across it by chance one sleepless night. He really liked the priest, and believe me, Father Gabriel is incredible!"
"It's true that not all of them are pedophiles or rapists. In that world, there are priests who follow God out of conviction, out of love for the community, and that's what this priest emanates. And I think Roland has a gift for knowing people. Plus, he has to do several tasks as penance."
"What?" My friend laughed.
"The priest has him doing community service for every commandment he breaks."
"Well... He'll be involved in many social projects."
"I've been to a couple, and believe me."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why is he doing it?
"He has a gift, besides speaking bluntly and telling you the harsh truth in a very unique style, he seems like a great speaker."
"Which church does he go to?"
"Where the devil forgot to look, my friend. In the deep south of Bogotá, and the social projects are in that same neighborhood. You can imagine how much Rata, Cebolla, and all their people have worked to keep him alive. That was the first week, now those street kids respect, admire, and protect him."
"I still can't believe it." My eyes filled with tears, I felt so proud.
"I'll tell you, he's doing it to be worthy of you."
"I wish I could believe you, he's never sought me out."
"And he won't, believe me. Just wait for him, Vero, and..." He wanted to say something else, but he stopped.
"Tell me everything you have to say."
"I won't betray him, he has nothing with anyone, the thing with Beatriz was a misunderstanding." He was about to speak. "Both times." There was a knock on the door. It was my brother.
"Hi, I figured as soon as you knew Verónica was in town, you'd come to visit her. Well, now that we're all together, let's go dancing."
"I'm in. Since the ungrateful girl left, I don't know what it's like to dance properly."
I burst into laughter, I was delighted to hear about Roland's change. I felt proud knowing he was doing it for me. The old woman had said it, she commented on our story. He needed to take time to get on the same page, she said it spiritually speaking, I was up there, and for a relationship to have deep foundations, both need to be on the same level.
That's what he's doing. If Raúl assured me he had nothing with Beatriz, it was true. Besides, Inés spoke in a somewhat disdainful way. What is really going on?