Chapter 73 - I Always Hurt Him - mduno
I couldn't leave her alone, never. All I could do was wait for her friend to arrive.
"Well... Thanks." She sat next to me again. "The floor feels like it's moving." I laughed, and seeing me laugh, she smiled with me. "I'm already drunk, it's my second time being drunk. I don't know if I told you, the first time was after my mom died, when I realized she would never come back... It's ironic, today I realized you won't come back either."
She laughed again, with tears included, and I clenched my fists to avoid wiping her tears. It doesn't feel good to make her cry.
"And what's the reason for drinking today?" I played dumb. She wiped her tears.
"Today, I'm burying you." She smiled bitterly, my heart started beating faster. "I know..." She shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"Tell me."
It was an order; the anxiety was killing me. She took another drink and stood up. I tried to help her, but her hand stopped me.
"No, let me." She burst into laughter. "Well, you already left me, I don't know why, but you did." Her eyes welled up again. "Maybe I'll look like an idiot to you... tomorrow I won't remember half of what we talked about, I'm very drunk."
"Tell Raul to take you."
I don't know how to describe her look, the sadness in her eyes, the tears finally falling.
"Every time you talk like that, it hurts more than the last."
"It wasn't my intention, Veronica."
"It never is, right?" I raised my eyebrows, this jerk is taking forever.
"I think it's better if I leave."
"No! Stay a little longer, just a little longer." I clung to the furniture. "I'm almost done with the bottle, I won't bother you again, I swear, I swear. Just answer me something."
"What do you want to know?"
Her eyes welled up, and with them, my soul shattered if there was any piece left.
"Did you leave me because my body disgusts you?"
"What?"
And that crap, what does it mean? I remembered what Raul told me, I needed to talk to her because she was imagining things and it was affecting her.
"I have a horrible scar on my back and one under my breast, and you're used to different kinds of bodies."
"Look, Veronica."
She was right in front of me, my hands cradling her face, the tears streaming down uncontrollably.
"Don't say stupid things, don't think."
She didn't let me speak, she leaned in and planted a kiss on me. For a second, I didn't respond.
"I'm degrading myself too much."
She said as she pulled away. What the hell, I pulled Veronica and kissed her. She responded to the kiss, and for a while, we were only aware of the feeling. It had been a month since I kissed her, since I knew that her lips were what I needed every day.
My tongue explored her again, I pulled her by her braids and didn't let her move away from my mouth. I needed to get that silly idea out of her... it was my deepest desire, where did she get that she disgusted me?
"And this kiss?" She still had her eyes closed.
"To erase the madness you just said."
"You don't want me by your side." I got a text message.
"I'm so glad to see you two made up. I'm leaving, please take care of her. See you tomorrow."
What did this idiot just do?
"We need to go, Veronica, where are you staying?" She looked down.
"Can I kiss you again?" How could I say no?
"I need to take you to Raul's house."
"You're an expert, you know." I smiled.
"And what are you talking about now?" We looked at each other.
"You always know how to slap me in the worst way."
"I haven't touched you." I called the waiter.
"And you never do, words hit harder, don't forget that. Be happy..."
She whispered something, lowered her head, I asked for the check, paid, took her hand, and we left. I thought she would give me trouble, but no, she let me guide her. She didn't take her eyes off our hands, and I felt her fingers lightly caress mine. Before she got in the car, I looked at her; she seemed ashamed of something.
"Forgive me for what I've done to you."
"Call me tomorrow and tell me, because today I feel really bad." She hiccuped. "I'm sorry."
"You need to eat something."
"I've already degraded myself, what's one more humiliation." What is she thinking?
"What are you talking about?"
"Please, kiss me." Her eyes pleaded. "I won't ask again, without drinks I wouldn't ask."
Her eyes welled up, and I pressed her against the car, my lips claimed hers, my hand clung to her waist and didn't move. With the kiss, I shouted how much I loved her, she was the best part of my life, I wished her happiness on her path. In a breath between our heavy breathing, the situation changed.
"Thanks, and I don't feel well." She barely said it before she pushed me away and bent over to vomit. "I'm sorry."
Her body collapsed, and I managed to catch her before she fell and got dirty. I put her in the car, and as I drove to her apartment, I couldn’t stop laughing. She was with me, and she loves me. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
I suppose I should act like a jerk, but that will be tomorrow. I looked at her and caressed her face. She was mine again; my oasis had returned. I carried her from the car to her apartment, laid her on her bed, and called Rat.
“I know where you’ll be spending the night. Don’t think I’m not watching you.”
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“Say hi to Miss Veronica for me.”
“Yes, just don’t get your hopes up. Nothing has changed.”
“Roland…”
“See you tomorrow.”
I lay down beside her and slept like I used to. At five in the morning, I woke up with Veronica holding onto me. I buried my nose in her hair. Dear God, I needed her scent. She stirred, so I got out of bed. My oasis was over. I had to leave. I took out my phone and filmed her. I locked myself in the other room and called her. After a while, I called her again. I left two messages.
“You’re here with me, thank you. And I forgot… well, you gave me another night of excellent sleep. Last night, you looked so beautiful drunk, and kissing you… I’ll never get tired of saying it, you took me to heaven, Vida, with those braids. If I told you what I thought, I know you’d blush. Besides…”
“Roland!” I hung up. Veronica had woken up, and I had to push her away again. “Roland?” I didn’t answer, pretending to be asleep. She came closer and caressed my face.
“Don’t touch me again, and I don’t want to offend you.” I opened my eyes, and hers were wet with tears. I sat up on the bed. “Look, Veronica, last night you behaved…”
“I don’t remember much, but I have the feeling I lowered myself a bit.”
“A bit?” As I pulled away, her chin started to tremble. “Look, at least it was with me. I didn’t touch you. Go take a shower, you still smell like vomit, and tell me where to drop you off.”
She stayed still while I left the room, feeling the pain in my chest from what I had just said. I went downstairs. After a while, I heard her leave the room and lock herself in another. I ran to her bedroom to see what she was doing and heard her crying in the bathroom.
“I’m sorry, Beautiful,” I whispered.
I prepared breakfast. She came out wearing a yellow dress with white flowers, her hair damp, dark sunglasses, sandals, and a white jacket. Everything she wore looked beautiful on her.
“I took clothes from the closet.”
“I haven’t been in the apartment since you left. Everything is the same.”
“Of course.” She lowered her head.
“Where should I take you?” I still had a couple of hours with her.
“Don’t worry, someone’s coming for me.” I served breakfast. “Sorry for bothering you, and thanks again for taking care of me.”
I felt my chest tighten. If only you knew how much I love you. I sat down to eat, ignoring her as she left the apartment. I called Raul to see where he was.
“Tell me, how are things going?” Why is he asking that?
“What time are you picking her up?”
“Who?” I stood up from the chair.
“Veronica!” I left the apartment. She doesn’t have money, how is she going to leave? I hung up and found her wiping away tears in the lobby. “Veronica, don’t be stubborn. Tell me where to take you.”
“Calm down, someone’s coming for me.” She spoke without looking at me.
“Raul isn’t coming for you.”
Without needing to see her eyes, I knew she was glaring at me, even with the sunglasses on.
“I have other friends.”
Juan’s car arrived in front of the building, and I felt my blood boil. Now she’s going to another man’s arms, right in front of me?!
“Wow, you change quickly.”
“Yes, I learn fast. Don’t forget who’s been my teacher.”
I clenched my fists. Rat and Onion were coming up the stairs. They greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.
“Veronica.” What the hell did he mean by that? She didn’t look back and kept going down the stairs. “If you get in that car!”
She stopped, sighed, and continued. She’s going with that idiot, the one just waiting for a chance to get under her pants. I took out my phone and called Beatriz as the doorbell rang. I saw her get in and disappear with Juan.
“Roland?” she answered.
“It’s still on.”
“You know it is.”
“I want you to think about it first. There will be no feelings, just sex, and you’ll submit to my whims. Do you accept?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll be there in an hour.”
Rat and Onion were staring at the car just like me. When I arrived, I wasn’t the same. I was so angry, so damn jealous, and the voice of conscience she had awakened in me, I buried it once more in the chest of oblivion. To hell with being good.
“What did you do, Roland?” Simon’s voice was an accusation.
“We just buried each other mutually.”
“What?”