Chapter 61 - Waking Up — World
When I woke up, the room was different; there weren't as many machines as there had been in the morning. I remembered Roland's crying, how he had cried and begged for me to wake up. My father and brother were sitting in the large armchair to the right of the room, reading. Santi had a book in his hand, and Dad had a newspaper. Roland, on the other hand, was engrossed in his laptop, absorbed in who knows what.
I watched them for a while. I don't remember anything until the early hours of today when I heard him crying. I never thought he would come out from behind his iron mask. A man like him, so confident in himself, so relentless in his decisions, showing a bit of weakness was the best welcome. I don't know what I did to him, but he had carved a place in my soul in a sick, inexplicable way. I moved a little, and they all reacted at once.
"Daughter!" said Dad, and at the same time…
"Vero!"
Santiago took my hand. His face was distraught, his eyes sunken, and his nose bandaged. The blow had been hard.
"Veronica!"
I looked at my boyfriend. He was back to his old self. These ten days had shown the toll his worry had taken on him.
"You're all thinner."
The three most important men in my life smiled, though I was missing one. And just as I thought of him, he appeared. El Flaco arrived with a giant bouquet of flowers. I noticed the slight discomfort in my boyfriend, though he had no reason to be.
"If you weren't…" Roland trailed off. "Her best friend, I wouldn't let you near her with that bouquet." Santiago, Raúl, and I laughed, but Dad ignored him. Wow, their relationship was going to be complicated now.
"Well, I'm surprised, given how eccentric you are and how over-the-top you are with gifts, that the clinic isn't a botanical garden."
I smiled, but a sharp pain reminded me to be careful with my battered left side.
"What's wrong, Veronica?" Roland's worried eyes moved me.
"I'm fine, it just hurts a little," I said. Raúl kissed my forehead.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," he said, pressing his forehead to mine. "I couldn't bear it, not another friend."
It was a switch for me. My friend… My brother lowered his gaze, and Dad looked at Roland with anger, who then looked up at the ceiling in realization of his blunder.
"Did you have to tell her today, just as she woke up?"
I was breathless, and before they confirmed it, I already knew. I remembered the explosion and then the shot that hit Roland. I choked back a scream.
"If I didn't tell her now, she'd hate me for the rest of my life," Raúl said. "Don't you know her?"
I didn't speak. I started to cry, and the more I cried, the more it hurt. Lorena died at that estate. The woman who never brought me into her world, who never let her friends touch me, who would face a battalion to keep me safe. I would never see her again, and I couldn't say goodbye. I couldn't bend over from the pain I felt. A scream escaped me. In the distance, I heard them call for the doctor.
Not only did my father scold Raúl, but Roland also didn't say anything to him, though his look could have killed, and Santi began to lecture him. Soon, two nurses arrived and injected me. Within seconds, I sank back into a deep sleep, spared from feeling the pain of losing my best friend.
I woke up, and the room was dark. A slight whimper woke Roland, who was sleeping next to me. The bed was so big that four people could lie in it without a problem.
"Beautiful?" His voice was fearful.
"Tell me they buried her."
"Veronica, we'll talk later," he said, kissing my forehead.
"Tell me!"
"There was no recognizable body of the people inside the estate. It was symbolic." Tears began to silently fall.
"I don't want the doctor to inject you again. You've spent most of your time asleep since you came back."
"It hurts a lot, Roland." He hugged me as best he could.
"I know, love." He kissed my cheek, then my forehead, and finally his lips met mine. "I love you," he whispered.
"It sounds so nice," he said, passing a cloth to wipe my nose.
"Forgive me for not getting her out sooner. I sent Negro."
"I know, I remember. You know…"
"Don't worry about that. Just get better. I need to see you out of this place in good health."
"I'll have a horrible scar."
Roland's demeanor changed. I regretted the comment. It must be torment enough what happened to me, and here I was, rubbing salt in the wound.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He carefully lay on his side, making sure not to hurt me, and stroked my hair. "Forgive me for what my life has been, and now I'm paying for it with you."
"Don't say nonsense." I tried to move, but it hurt.
"Stay still, or I'll call the nurse to put you to sleep."
I stuck my tongue out at him. That small childish act brought a special sparkle to his eyes.
"What did you do to me, Veronica Vázquez?"
"Love you, Roland Sandoval, just love you."
We didn't talk anymore. He got lost in his thoughts, and the rhythm of his hand in my hair lulled me to sleep.
Fifteen days had already passed, and my boyfriend had moved his work station to the clinic room. My father left yesterday after a big argument over his suggestion that I leave him. He was right; my boyfriend wasn’t right for me because of what he was... A drug dealer. He yelled at me, asking how I could have ignored the principles he instilled in me. Roland behaved admirably, not for me, but because deep down he blamed himself for what happened to me. Before my father left, I spoke with him.
"Dad, I know my principles, I haven't violated any of them. I ask you to respect my relationship," I said. Don Fausto looked at me, and I didn’t look away. "I will never go against what I believe in. I fear God, but I love Roland, and love changes many things."
"I just want you to be happy, daughter."
"And I am. You have no idea about the man who hides behind that shell."
"God, your mother... Well, you’ve always had the ability to see the soul in people," he sighed. "Anyway, I still don’t like him."
"You liked him when I first introduced him to you."
"Yes. I didn't know who he was. I don't accept a man with two faces. One should have only one personality."
"I liked the man who has different worlds, Dad." I could already sit and walk a bit. My old man sat on the couch, letting out a big sigh. "Trust me. The world will know who that great man is who waits behind the door. And you will see your daughter become the happiest woman."
"Daughter, one of his worlds will kill him. You know no one leaves the drug trade."
I didn’t argue with him about that; I have thought the same for a long time. I know God will move his pieces to make things turn out well.
"And I fear for you."
"I love you, grumpy old man."
"I have to go now. I can't leave the animals for too long; the farm needs me. Visit me," he said as I walked over to him and kissed his forehead, nodding. "I'll leave your brother here for a few more days. He’s quite taken with Roland’s house."
"Get used to it. Besides, Raul’s house is very uncomfortable."
"Daughter, he is..."
I held back a laugh when I saw my father slightly tilt his hand.
"Yes, Dad, my best friend is gay, and Lorena was a call girl." My father shook his head.
"Do you like surrounding yourself with those kinds of people?"
"They are human beings just like us. Jesus did not judge us, and we all have sins. They have two eyes, two ears, two hands, hair, eyebrows. I see no difference."
"I won’t argue with you about that because I’ll lose."
"I care about Raul a lot."
"I like that young man. He cares about you a lot, Vero, and would give his life for you," he thought for a moment. "Well, it doesn’t bother me that he’s different after all."
"We are all different."
"Take care, I’m leaving today."
"Call me when you get to the farm."
"You have Santiago and Raul to look after you."
"And Roland."
He made a face, kissed my forehead, and left the room. Cebolla walked in, smiling.
"Good morning, miss."
"Hello, Cebolla."
I smiled at him, looking down. No one would guess he was gay; he was muscular and his features were masculine. He wasn’t attractive, but his tough-guy expression made him interesting. I would never have thought he liked men, or maybe he was bisexual.
"The boss sent me to inform you that you’ve been discharged. He’s waiting for you at home."
He put his hands in his pockets, and my Skinny walked in. Their relationship was distant; I hadn’t seen them hold hands or share a touch. They had something, according to my friend.
"You need to get ready. They’re waiting for us downstairs." I raised an eyebrow. I sighed and took the change of clothes Raul handed me. "Do you need help?"
The truth was yes. Cebolla left the room; it hurt to bend down. The doctor had given the recommendations in front of Roland, and if he was strict with the medications during the attempted assault, I couldn’t imagine how he would behave this time.
"Thank you."
He had that expression so typical of him. It showed how special I was in his life. He had shown more than once that he was just as fierce as Lorena in defending me. Remembering her brought a lump to my throat.
"What’s wrong? Are you feeling bad? Because I can tell your little pain ball to send a doctor."
"No, I just remembered the times the three of us used to get ready together."
I lost my voice. He hugged me tightly. There wasn’t a day I didn’t cry at her memory. I knew the pain had to be overcome, and while we waited for acceptance, all we could do was cry.
"Besides... you know, I don’t accept death easily."
"They’re waiting for us downstairs, Vero." He wiped my tears. "We need to make you beautiful. Your beloved torment will be even more smitten."
"Do you also resent him?"
He finished helping me. I couldn’t exert myself. The denim dress was very pretty.
"Is this mine?" I asked, gesturing.
"Of course it is!" He shrugged. "Your boyfriend bought it for you." He put my hair in a ponytail and handed me the jacket. "And no, I don’t resent him. He did what he had to do to get you out of there. My anger is with you, for being stubborn and inflexible. There’s a reason he didn’t take you to that place! You need to understand that you can’t go to many meetings, and if you do, you’ll be a hindrance and could cause a total loss. He’s saved you twice now; for me, that’s more than enough. I’ll be eternally grateful to him."