Chapter 262 - I feel distant - meters
Guadalupe
"You know you can never be sure if you'll come back."
He was leaving on a complicated mission. My lip trembled, and my impulse was to run into his arms. Arnold held me tightly against his body. It was definitely a farewell; I felt a thousand things with that hug.
"Could you die?" He kissed my forehead and said before leaving.
"I'm already dead."
It was a whisper, but I heard it clearly. I stayed in the hallway staring at the closed door for a long time.
"Virgin of Guadalupe, protect him, I beg you, cover him with your sacred mantle and let nothing harm him."
I didn't sleep at all. I went to the bathroom, prepared breakfast and lunch. I had no idea if I was going to go to the university. Maybe I should do something and didn't want him to know where I lived, but a classmate could take him lunch. I smiled. I prepared as usual, organized the two meals, put them in my backpack, grabbed the car keys, got to the university, and attended my normal classes. At noon, I ran to see if I could find him where he always has lunch. I didn't think he would be there...
I was wrong. Arnold was at the same table as always. As I approached, I saw that he had food. I reached his side and smiled at the sight of the burnt meat and black slices.
"Hi, Blondie." He tensed up. I placed the food I brought him. "Saved by the bell, your slices got burnt." I gave him a kiss, but he cut it very quickly. "Oops! Sorry for making you uncomfortable. Now you confirm that you're acting weird with me. I'll leave, I have class."
"Don't bring me food again, Guadalupe."
"Guadalupe? I never imagined I'd miss the nickname Tadpole so much." His eyes were like ice. "Are you going to the ranch?"
"I have matters to resolve."
I nodded. Once again, I had that bitter taste in my mouth. I left him at the table. As soon as I was out of Arnold's sight, I turned back to watch him and saw him throw away the food I brought and eat mine. I smiled like an idiot. I needed to learn to understand him. The class went by slowly. I returned to the apartment alone and sent him a message before going to sleep.
"Even if you get mad, I want to be myself and not hold back my feelings. Blondie… I love you."
I didn't get a reply, I just saw the blue checks on WhatsApp, which confirmed he read it but didn't bother to respond. With a thousand thoughts swirling in my mind, I fell asleep. Something was happening, and without a doubt, it was that he no longer wanted anything to do with me.
I just arrived at the ranch. Yesterday, I didn't see Arnold or he didn't let himself be seen. I had brought him lunch again, but had to put it back in the fridge. He also hadn't answered my messages or calls, and that was worrying me. Last night, I didn't want to bother the bosses, but that doesn't mean I can't do it now. I got ready quickly. On my way to the main house, I saw Mr. Roland, Simon, and Miguel in the stables.
"Good morning," I said. They looked at me.
"Good morning, Lupe. Is Arnold still asleep?" I frowned and shook my head.
"You have him on a mission."
The three of them exchanged glances, and at that moment, fear took hold of me. Don't think about that, not that.
"Mission?" Mr. Roland looked at me. "Lupe, everyone is independent in carrying out their own investigations."
"Besides, when there's something concrete, it's reported," Mr. Simon continued.
"Arnold is always the most analytical." Lies. They had just covered for him. I smiled at Mr. Miguel's comment.
"Don't worry, sorry for catching you off guard and not being able to cover it up well." I was about to cry. "Excuse me."
If he wasn't on a mission, it was because he was tired of me and pitied telling me. All the signs were there. Idiot!
"Guadalupe." Mr. Roland had called me.
"Yes?" I swallowed my tears.
"Since when?"
"He didn't travel last week. This week, he arrived a day early, picked up his clothes, and left. I didn't see him Thursday or Friday. I write and call him." I shook my head. "He doesn't answer. Although it's not his duty, after all, we were just friends with benefits."
"Lupe, if we distance ourselves, it's to protect."
"Don't justify it, Mr. Roland. Mr. Delgado hasn't missed anything."
I turned and walked away. I reached the stables, where my father was changing some horseshoes. I greeted him.
"Piel Canela is already saddled, honey."
"Thanks, Dad."
I gave him a kiss, and as soon as I started galloping, I began to cry. You have to face things head-on. I took out my phone. He didn't answer my calls, so I sent him a message.
"I already found out that you don't have any mission. I've seen you do harder things, so I don't think of you as a coward. We've never had anything, this was a mutual agreement. Don't be upset, güerejo, we're adults. To the wise, few words are needed, and there's nothing to end, after all, we have nothing."
My hands were shaking. This time I didn't sleep at the bosses' house; I went back to my place, ashamed of myself. My parents didn't say anything, they just looked at me and I smiled and winked at them. No one will see me break down, I don't want them to tell him. If this is over, I'll cry in the bathroom or far from people. On Sunday, Mrs. Veronica sent for me.
"Mrs. Veronica." She looked at me very seriously.
"I don't know what happened with Arnold, but if you end things, that doesn't mean you go back to calling me 'Mrs.'. You used to call me Veronica."
"Thank you, Veronica."
"That's much better. My mother-in-law wants to make sure you don't miss the meeting for anything in the world." The shouts from the living room made us fall silent.
"Don't be stubborn!" Mr. Roland was yelling at Ines, who stood with her hands on her hips.
"Don't schedule any more appointments until after the forty days postpartum for Luisa."
"Old woman, understand..."
"Of course I understand, Roland. You shouldn't spend more money. We already know what they'll say, and it's the same as we already know, there is no cure! Every day is a miracle for me, and I thank God for that."
"Sergio could be born at any moment. In two weeks, your sister is due, or she could go into labor early. No matter what you say, no matter how accurate your words are, you won't make me leave this region! For me, it's more gratifying and I feel it helps me more to take care of my grandchildren."
"You're stubborn, old woman!"
"I'm just a grandmother."
Veronica and I looked at each other. Ines picked up Enrique, and the two nannies were pushing the kids in their strollers.
"I'm handsome, right? The fact that they no longer respect me sometimes drives me crazy."
"Leave her alone, Cielo, she's in the best hands." Veronica gestured upwards, and we understood she meant God was protecting her.
"And the Virgin of Guadalupe," I said.
I went back to the apartment, I had been thinking a lot. If Arnold didn't face me now, on Thursday when I see him at the university, I'll clear everything up with him. We'll put an end to what we never had; I couldn't condemn him.
He tried, and the fact that he was distancing himself only confirmed that he cared for me a lot, but he didn't love me. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried in the shower. I had to cry beforehand so I wouldn't cry in front of him when we said our final goodbye. I looked at my phone, he had read all my messages, but he didn't reply.
These past two days had been awful. God, I was really in love with the güerejo. I called him, and he didn't answer. I stopped sending messages; it was more painful to see that he read them and didn't respond. I wasn't going to torture myself with something I could avoid. My phone rang, it was Shirly.
"Congratulations!" I frowned. "I shouldn't tell you this, but I heard Arnold talking to my husband about proposing to you. He already bought your ring!"
"What?" My heart was racing, and I smiled like an idiot. "I don't think he's going to propose, he's been acting weird these past two weeks."
"Look, Lupe, I used to witness the parade of women Arnold had. Now he doesn't go out with anyone, and look at the women drooling over him. I'm so glad he finally settled down, and I like the woman he chose even more." I couldn't help but get excited about what she said. Is that what was going on with him?
"I..." I was just about to enter the university.
"Look, Lupe, I'm a woman who takes the reins and faces things. Surprise him, go to Colombia, you have just enough time to get there before five in the afternoon. Surprise him."
"Thank you." She was right, was he going to propose?
I didn't go to class, I got in the car, went to the apartment, and packed two changes of clothes in a backpack, one of them a new dress. I didn't have much money in my bank account, but I remembered what he had saved.
All the money he gave me to cover my expenses, he had put in the tin in the kitchen, and when I looked, I saw he hadn't spent a single penny. At least it would cover the one-way ticket. Honestly, I didn't think, I just acted. When I was in the waiting room, I called Shirly.
"I listened to you, I'm leaving in twenty minutes, I'll get there between three and four in the afternoon."
"Oh, how exciting! The kids in the clan are getting married."
"Stop saying nonsense."
"Gladis and I will wait for you here. Then you can celebrate with the rest of the girls at Blanco. I'll make reservations for a luxury hotel. See you soon."
"Thank you."