Chapter 154 - Confessions Begin - Fedds
Veronica fell to her knees, overwhelmed with tears, and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. I approached to help her up.
"Love, don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you like this, come here."
It was already dark, and she couldn't walk, trembling. I carried her into the cabin and set her down on one of the chairs. She said nothing, just looked at me with anger. I sat on the other chair, waiting for her to process the situation.
"Veronica, please, talk to me."
"You're a damn manipulator! A lying bastard! An insensitive jerk!"
She started yelling, and although it was unfair, I let her vent. I kind of liked hearing her swear; she was always so proper when she spoke.
"You only think about yourself! Selfish!"
Like a hurricane, she came at me, hitting me over and over. Today was the day to become everyone's punching bag. I grabbed her hands to stop her.
"Listen to me!" She pulled away, distancing herself a bit.
"I don't want to hear you! You're a liar; you messed with my sanity, idiot! I almost..."
"Almost what, Veronica? And for your information, you're the only one to blame!"
I raised my voice, and two loud slaps landed on each of my cheeks. I was getting tired of being available to be hit. And I had always said Roland Sandoval wasn't born with patience.
"I won't let you hit me again without a justifiable reason," I said through clenched teeth.
"Oh, now I owe you?"
Deep down, that bravery of hers was what made me like her so much. She had never been afraid of me. She knew who I was and what I was capable of, yet she stood firm like a proud rooster before me.
"Just what I needed! You break my heart, my life, my existence, and what do we have..." She moved from side to side, swaying her body. "Mr. Sandoval is alive and kicking, enjoying his life as I imagine!" She looked furious.
"And how do you imagine it?" Her eyes sparkled with anger. "What part of the sacrifice I made to give you a life without danger did you not understand?"
"You lied to me! You didn't care about my pain." She turned red with rage.
"That's a lie! And I'm not going to argue with you when I have proof that the only reckless, careless, and disobedient one is you, my dear wife."
"Now I'm your wife?"
"You are, and you always will be, until death do us part."
I approached, took out the chain that indeed had the memory given as a wedding gift and my ring. With a yank, I broke the chain in front of her scrutinizing eyes, pointing at the pendant.
"That..."
"This is mine," I pointed at my ring, putting it on while her eyes widened in astonishment. "Thanks for keeping it until now, and this." I waved the memory while walking to the music player. "Do you remember what I told you when I gave you this gift?" Her expression changed. "Do you remember? Can you repeat the words?" She began to speak in a whisper.
"To never take it off and listen to it no matter what, or something like that."
"Why do you never listen to me?" She started playing with her hands. "Listen to what I told you before the operation for my supposed death. My freedom was my wedding gift!" Veronica stifled a sob. "All this time, you've carried the truth and suffered simply because you're stubborn." I pressed play on the player.
"Hello, Beautiful, I promised never to leave you out of my plans again, although in this case, it had to be this way. I just hope you don't take too long to listen to my words. I dedicate many songs to you, in addition to this declaration. Love, this is my wedding gift to you. I give you my freedom; I can't allow you to enter a rotten world. You are the only light in my life, and I couldn't bear to see you submerged in a filthy life.
Since you came into my life, I started looking for my mother and your famous words, 'put yourself in others' shoes to understand their reasons.' That phrase pushed me to seek answers about why she abandoned me. You know what? She never did; it was just unfortunate situations that separated us.
Thank you, Veronica. Now I've thought about so many things, and in a few days, you'll be my wife. I understand that my life had to be this way; otherwise, you wouldn't have crossed my path. I would still be lost. I love you.
Now listen carefully, to give you this gift, I must die, so I can offer you what you deserve. I'm going to fake my death. When we meet again, I'll tell you many things, but I want you to know that while the storm passes, I'll be living with my mother and sister. A few months ago, I bought a lot of land to start a new life, where I built our estate, the one you saw in the plans when we were preparing our wedding. I called it The Rebirth."
I made a deal with the United States government, and in exchange for information, they will let me live by your side. My sister will be in charge of carrying out the plan. I'll tell you the details when we meet. Knowing you, you'll force Rata to bring you to Blanco, Texas, before reading the will. If you decide to do that crazy thing, obey Simón in everything, Verónica, for the love you have for me, please listen to him!
For now, forgive me for the pain I must have caused you with my supposed death, to you, Simón, Miguel, Inés, and the boys. Tell them that in three months we will be reunited if you follow my plan. For now, it was essential to show the drug trafficking organization's bosses your genuine reactions of grief.
Give the audio to Rata so he can listen to it. Soon, I'll send him the cell phone, and he can follow the breadcrumbs, as he usually says. If you delay listening to the story, I apologize for the days of pain, my love, but think about a future together without fearing for me at night. I don't want to give you the agony of not coming home one night; I just want your peace.
I have always been tired of that world, but I didn't have the incentive to leave it until you came into my life like an angel. When I saw you lying in that bed, hours away from being disconnected, I swore never to give you such agony. You come first. Always, Verónica, it will be you.
Forgive me for the tears shed, but now that you have heard these words, I hope your heart fills with happiness. Remember, after the will, I will be waiting for you at our ranch. I love you more than my life, Vida. The songs recorded in the memory are for you, I love you.
Verónica fell to her knees, her hands trembling, she was a sea of tears, and with a stutter, she managed to speak.
"Roland... I... I..." She covered her face with her hands. "Honey, I tried to kill myself."
When I thought Verónica had reached a point where she couldn't surprise me anymore, she would say a blatant lie. That woman always, always threw darts at me that I couldn't dodge. I never imagined a woman so full of life and love for God would attempt suicide.
I don't know when I got to her side, I don't remember moving, but here I was, kneeling in front of a trembling body, crumbling with guilt and regret. That's what her beautiful eyes were telling me. Somehow, I felt guilty for being the cause of all this.
"Repeat what you said because I didn't hear you well."
She was trembling, her honey-colored eyes filled with tears, covering her mouth and looking away in shame.
"I went crazy, I couldn't stay conscious after your death, I was doped day and night, my soul hurt while I was awake. I didn't want a life without you, I didn't understand or want to exist if I didn't have you by my side."
When her gaze met mine, a shiver ran down my spine, and I knew her next words wouldn't please me at all. I remembered Rata's words telling me in the afternoon that my actions had consequences.
"Continue, tell the truth, even if what comes out of your mouth isn't pleasant." She covered her face again.
"The first attempt."
"The first attempt?" Oh God... now I was the one trembling.
"I pretended to be asleep so Miguel would think I was still under the effects of the sedative. They were changing shifts. Since your death, I hadn't left the clinic, so they took turns; they were the only ones who could calm me during a hysterical attack. Neither my father, nor my brother, nor Raúl could provide the tranquility that a hug or a handhold from Simón or Miguel did." I felt a pang of jealousy again.
"Why?"
"It was the only thing that brought me closer to you." My heart ached. "I had no notion of the days; for a month and a half, I lived in limbo. When Miguel left, I did too. What I was going to do scared me, and that alerted them. I hadn't realized I had the rings on. Anyway, I managed to reach the clinic's rooftop, my intention was to jump." I closed my eyes, imagining my wife in that situation, Verónica dead... no, no.
"I did it, but arms grabbed me by the waist, they were Simón's, who would have fallen too if it weren't for Miguel holding his feet. After that, they admitted me to a psychiatric rest center." So that was their fear when they mentioned not wanting her to go crazy again.
"I'm sorry, I've already asked God for forgiveness for my stupidity. They reinforced my care, there were always two people with me, but Simón or Miguel were always there, sleeping in a chair at the foot of the bed, sometimes both in chairs with their heads on the bed, waking up clinging to my hand after a hysterical crisis.
"They somehow prevented me from falling into the abyss that threatened to devour me in your absence, Roland." I kissed her forehead. I owe those two more than my life.
"What other attempt did you have?"
At that moment, I noticed her wrists, she had leather bracelets around them. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, removed the bracelets, and saw two more scars adorning her beautiful body.
"More scars?"