Chapter 139 - Confessing Trauma - Funds
Luisa
"It was obvious, Luisa, you've distanced yourself from Simón out of jealousy. Mr. Roland is dead, but they still act as if he were alive, taking care of the lady because Simón was entrusted with that task. For her, there is no man better than her husband."
I hope my brother, the scoundrel, is listening to this, and that it's enough for him to stop being so intense. Diana walked away.
"I hope you heard that. Stop sending messages. One more, and I swear I'll put away the glasses, Maluco!" I said, needing a bath. "I'm going to take off the glasses for a moment, I need to go to the bathroom."
I took them off, but not before focusing again on Verónica. I saw her sitting, holding the child with Raúl on one side and that Juan on the other. I walked towards the big house, feeling a strong urge to pee. I relieved myself without any problem, washed my hands, and left the room where Verónica and I had been sleeping these past days.
"Are you still mad, Black-haired?"
My heart started racing. I wasn't mad anymore… well, just jealous. I looked at him and smiled.
"I wasn't mad."
"Right, just jealous."
"You have a big ego."
"It's not ego, it's the truth. You were mad because of Mrs. Verónica."
He came closer. My heart was pounding, and he stopped just inches away, standing tall. I had to tilt my head up to keep eye contact. He caressed my cheek.
"Just to be clear, Mrs. Verónica doesn't attract me as a woman. I care for her like a sister. And yes, she is a priority, she holds an important place. I promised your brother on his deathbed that I would take care of her, and I won't break that promise. I understand that in a few years she'll need to move on with her life, but for now, it's too soon. If you can't understand that, I'm sorry, Luisa."
He traced the edge of my lips. I was about to pee myself again from fear, but I liked his touch.
"You interest me as a woman, Luisa. I'm too grown up for nonsense, you know that. And for the first time, I don't know how to treat a woman. I've tried in a thousand ways, but I always hit a wall. I've subtly tried to show you, but you never understood my feelings for you. I'm not the type to beg, you know that too."
"That's why, because of your scent, which tells me one thing, but your actions and words say another. So, I have no choice but to ask directly. Luisa, do I have any chance with you?"
I couldn't say anything, I was speechless. I wanted to shout that he had every chance, he just needed to be patient with me, but in those seconds, I couldn't say anything.
"Calm down, Black-haired, you don't have to tremble. Do I disgust you?"
Another wave of nerves, NO! God no, did he think my trembling was because I was disgusted?
"I get it. I won't bother you again."
The sadness in Simón's eyes did something inside me, and I was able to react. He had already started to walk away.
"Simón!"
He stopped, and when he turned around, a strong feeling took over me. Verónica's words, two options. I ran to him and threw myself into his arms. Thanks to his physical state, we didn't fall to the ground, and before fear could invade my mind, I spoke.
"You'll have to be very patient with me. I have a trauma from childhood."
"I know, Black-haired."
His arms lifted me, my legs wrapped around his waist, my arms around his neck. He walked with me to the dining table.
"Look at me." I started trembling. "It's me, Luisa." His large hands cradled my face. "Can I kiss you?"
I nodded, and not only did I want that, I had a thousand sensations I was experiencing for the first time. My desire was not just for him to kiss me, I was still trembling.
"Calm down, it's me, beautiful."
He whispered, his breath mixing with mine. My skin tingled, my heart was racing, and it only calmed a little when his lips took over mine. I closed my eyes, repeating to myself over and over that it was Simón, not my father. I wasn't the only one who had gone through this; I was very surprised to learn Verónica's story, something similar had happened to her.
The kiss started very slowly. I could feel his desire to devour me, but he held back, which made me love him more. It was no longer just a game of lips; he bit them gently, and I was surprised to realize how my skin was tingling.
"Are you still aware that it's me?" he whispered, and I nodded, feeling my face heat up. "Blushing makes your freckles look even more beautiful."
"I hate them."
"Too bad, since I've known you, I've adored them. Get used to me, it'll be hard to go at a snail's pace with you, but I won't leave. Don't tremble, Luisa, I'm not going to hurt you. A hug and some kisses are as far as I'll go until you're ready to move forward. I've been many things, but never an abuser."
"Why did you stop the kiss?"
"Your smell." I frowned. "You're scared. Do you want to tell me something?" I needed to be honest.
"My father... That time was because of me, because I was sick. He left Roland at the house where they looked after us until Mom picked us up. I remember my brother begging to come with us, but no matter how much he pleaded, Dad didn't accept. He wanted me. Mom would take three hours to pick us up. He had never crossed the line, never touched me inappropriately. To me, he was my dad. Maybe that's why it was more traumatic."
Simón didn't move away. He stayed between my legs, wrapping his arms around my waist. He was the first man, aside from my brother and my crazy cousin, that I allowed so close. I couldn't lie; I was still on edge. I knew what he was doing. He was smart. He wanted me to get used to his closeness.
"When he closed the house door, he kissed me, started taking off my clothes. He seemed like a madman. I was seven years old. I felt his mouth all over my body and..."
I started shaking again. I hadn't told anyone this before. Simón's phone started buzzing. He hugged me tighter, kissed my forehead, and stroked my hair. Strangely, I began to calm down in his arms.
"If you don't want to keep talking, I understand."
The security his arms provided gave me a calm I didn't know I needed. It was like under his protection, nothing bad would happen, and that warmth broke down my barriers.
"Verónica said, if I wanted to be with a man, it was obviously you." I heard his laugh and, looking at him, I was captivated by him. "If I wanted to give myself a chance, I had to be honest, tell you what my problem is so you can help and understand my reactions."
"So I owe Mrs. Verónica the pleasure of having you in my arms right now?" I blushed. He kissed my forehead again, then my cheeks.
"She was right. A moment ago, my block made you think something different. You don't repulse me," I confirmed. "Simón, you're the first man I've kissed." His arms held me tighter.
"Spare me the explicit details, but everything you can imagine about what an experienced man's mouth like my father's could do, he did to my body. I remember screaming so loud when he undressed and I saw his member."
I started shaking again. I had no more words to make him understand. I didn't know what else he could do to me. Only my instincts alerted me to something bad. My mother arrived at the exact moment when David was about to... He hugged me tightly again, kissing my forehead and hair.
"You don't need to continue. I won't rape you."
"Simón..."
"How would you feel safer or more comfortable with me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Special friends, boyfriend, fiancé." I opened my eyes wide. "Get to know me, Luisa. I'm not one for beating around the bush. I'll move at your comfort level, even though to me, it's all the same. You're mine. Have you stopped trembling?" I nodded.
"Let's start in the order you mentioned."
"To be clear, we'll be exclusive. No one else will come between us."
"Just to clarify, I'm twenty-nine years old and this is my first kiss. I don't know how long it will take me to move to another level."
"Dark-haired girl, I'm a one-woman man when I decide to have her. I don't mind waiting a bit. The reward is worth it." I felt the warmth in my neck again. "Can I kiss you again?" I nodded. "This time, open your mouth wider. If I can only kiss you, I want to devour you." Hadn't we just done that a moment ago? A tingling sensation in my belly emerged at those words.
"Look at me, I'm the one who's going to kiss you."
After saying that, his lips took over mine. When I opened my mouth fully, his tongue invaded. My skin shivered. I followed his kiss. It was the most pleasurable sensation. His hands squeezed my waist, and thousands of new currents traveled from my nipples to my groin. When we ran out of air, we separated. My lips felt swollen. I touched them, smiling. He put his hand on my chin to look at him.
"You're mine."