Chapter 130 - Clarifying from the Past - Feddos
Luisa
My mom sat up and hugged Ronald. Sometimes there was no need to speak. Moments like these, when life marks you with events that tear people's hearts apart, silence was best. I couldn't hold back and joined their embrace. He was falling apart, crying.
My mother kissed him on the forehead, on the cheek, running her hands, worn from years of hard work, over him—she was fifty, though she looked older due to all the suffering.
"Never, son, I never abandoned you because I wanted to, my love. I went early the next day to get you, but I couldn't find you. I had to make sure Luisa was safe first."
"Why didn't you take me with you?"
Roland was hyperventilating. A moment ago, he had the demeanor of a cold man, but seeing him like this only showed me he had built a strong shell.
"My love, I never, ever forgot about you, my child. Do you believe me?"
Roland remained silent. I went to get a pitcher of water. We all needed it, and the conversation we owed each other was going to be long. When I returned, Mom was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, with Roland kneeling, his head on her lap. I poured a glass of water for her and another for him, which he didn't take. I sat at the edge of the bed, and he sat looking at us. His eyes were red.
"It's my fault," I said. My brother furrowed his brow, and Mom shook her head several times.
"Don't say nonsense, Luisa. The only one to blame is your father. Roland, do you remember anything from that day?" I saw him sigh.
"We were at Mrs. Magnolia's house, where we stayed while you were at work. I remember Luisa had gotten sick, and Dad went to get her; he didn't want to take me. We were going to set up the Christmas tree when you got back."
"Magnolia called me to say your father had come to get the girl. I felt something in my chest. I left my job and ran straight to the house like a madwoman."
Hearing what happened to me so many years ago plunged me into sadness. Despite all the therapists I visited, I couldn't get over it.
"When I got to the house, Luisa was screaming, and your father was about to abuse her."
Roland's face changed. He got up from the floor, and his expression was terrifying. He had a controlled rage, not easy to manage unless you're a trained killer. I know about that; I work taking down those kinds of people. My mother continued talking.
"I transformed, armed myself with your bat, and started hitting him. Luisa was naked, trembling with fear. When I left your father lying on the floor, I dressed the girl in the first thing I found and left the house to go to my sister's."
"When we arrived, she said that would be the first place he would come looking for me. She gave me the address of a good man who helped people get to the United States for work. She told me to talk to him to find a way to travel with you both."
She wiped away her silent tears. Roland sat back down on the edge of the bed with his hands clenched into fists.
"The man said he could help me, on the condition that I worked and that you two, once you were old enough, worked too until we paid off the money he invested in us."
"That night, I had to sleep at that house. My sister was right; Diego had come looking for me. He caused a scene, even getting into a fistfight with my brother-in-law and threatening to call the police. That's why they asked me not to go back to the house. Your father could have killed me. The next day, you were supposed to be at Magnolia's house, and I would come for you. I left very early to get you so we could leave." Mom started crying harder, wiping her nose with the sheet.
"I got to the house at seven in the morning. There was no one there. I went to Magnolia's to see if you were with her, but I couldn't find you. My heart sank. The neighbor said Diego had left with you the night before, carrying a suitcase. I didn't travel; I wasn't going to leave you, my love. For a year, I looked for you, like a madwoman, with every friend of your father's, every boss he had, the prostitutes he frequented. I spent hours in brothels hoping to see him so I could confront him and get my son back."
"I didn't find out anything until a year later when I found the house where he lived. I confirmed it and went there with the police and Child Protective Services. But the bastard showed up with a bandaged hand, laughing in my face. He said you had run away from home a few days ago, and he didn't know where you were. He wished you were dead."
"The police couldn't restrain me, son. I scratched his face like a lioness; I can still feel my nails digging into his skin, tearing his flesh. It only took seconds to ruin it. The police told me they couldn't do anything more, and it was now a matter for the missing persons department.
"Then I searched for you in orphanages, detention centers, I even looked in the worst neighborhoods, but I couldn't find you. Months passed, maybe a year, before your father found us. At that moment, I had to seek help from the person who brought me to this country. You can't imagine how hard it's been, even to this day."
"Mom." Roland threw himself into her arms and started crying again. "Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me."
"I have nothing to forgive you for, my love. We were just victims of life's strings and your father's wickedness."
"I hated you for years, I resented you, and I envied my sister. I thought I was a bad kid, that's why you didn't love me and abandoned me." His mother's scream tore at the soul.
"Don't say such nonsense. Where did you get that idea? Until you were seven, I showed you all my love, my child. Your father beat me every night, mistreated me, but I endured it for you both, and that was my mistake."
"He said you left me because I was bad, that it was my fault you left... Mom, I'm not a good man."
"What do you mean you're not a good man, Maluco?" I asked, my eyes hurting from crying so much.
"Dear God... I've been a son of a bitch; I'm a drug trafficker." My mother cupped his cheek with her hands, cradling his face.
"What did you say? I remember you loved building houses, you painted beautifully. I've prayed every day for you to be a good man. I still have all your drawings."
"Forgive me, it's hard to say this. I've always been honest, and I have two sides. I'm an architect and civil engineer, but at the same time, I'm the boss of Colombia. I've killed many people, flooded the world with drugs, I've been a..."
"Don't say it!" She kissed my brother's forehead. "Can you get out of that?"
"I'm going to try. I'm planning to get married, although Verónica doesn't know yet. We're going through a time where I need to be worthy of her. But she will be my wife."
"And the mother of your children," said Mom.
"I don't want children right now. Luisa will give you grandchildren."
"Now I will die without having grandchildren," I rolled my eyes. "Your sister was traumatized by what she lived through with your father. She doesn't let any man get close to her. I swear she hasn't even kissed anyone."
"Mom!"
"Sorry, Freckles," that's what he called me. "I shouldn't say this, but I feel so free and happy knowing you didn't leave me because you didn't love me."
"Maluco." I threw myself into my brother's arms. His embrace was so comforting, I felt secure in it. "You can't imagine what Mom has suffered."
"That's over now."
"I don't want dirty money!" Mom reprimanded, and he let out a loud laugh.
"It seems the women in my life repel my dark side."
"What do you mean?"
I waited for his response. What he said could be interpreted in many ways.
"Verónica is my angel. I'll tell you about my beautiful one another time. For now, I want you to know that I also make a lot of money from my legal businesses, earned through my professional work. That's where I send money to my girlfriend and my caretaker; the woman who has taken care of me like a son."
"We don't need your money, just you," I said.
"We don't live in wealth, but Luisa's work is enough to keep us from struggling."
"Mom, you live in a dollhouse. Freckles, you can verify what I'm about to say. My money is clean, and you will no longer have to go through any hardships. From now on, everything will be my responsibility. I know we have a lot to talk about, and we'll have time for that. For now, I need your help." He looked at me.
"That would mean reaching high places," I guessed what he wanted.
"I won't give Verónica a life of unease, nor you either. If God is moving the pieces of his chessboard, putting these cards on the table, I'll play with them."
"God?"
We said it at the same time. I'm not as devout as Mom, but I sometimes accompany her to church.
"You speak of him so beautifully, at least you haven't turned away from him, although it's contradictory given the life you lead," Mrs. Consuelo was holding back her scolding.
"I've only been reconciled with him for a few months. I ignored him completely. It was Verónica who restored my faith. We have a lot to talk about, but I have little time. I don't want to raise any suspicions. Luisa, I need your help."