Heaven help me
Heaven save me from myself
I've been losing my religion
Headed for collision without you
Heaven help me
Can you save me from myself
I've been losing my religion
Headed for collision without you
Heaven Help Me – Raign
Diana
I arrived at the apartment feeling their eyes on me, not understanding what actually happened. Maybe it was the alcohol I wanted it to be at least, that man wearing only a leather jacket and jeans was the reason for my breakdown.
I watched him from the moment he got off the bike, the tattoos contrasting with his dark skin, his sure steps straight to the bar being served, I knew he was part of the MC, the jacket made it very clear.
Despite all my protests, Katarina convinced us to go to the bar again and after having had a decent night's sleep at the end of the singing, I gave in to the request wanting to make my mind at least calm down, the lack of news from my brothers it was like a blind spot in my plans.
With almost fifteen days in the apartment I couldn't get a single decent night's sleep after waking up, Katarina had nightmares every night and even though Theo took turns with me, I couldn't sleep after waking up to her screams.
I felt like I was reliving it all over again when I woke up to the sounds of my sister's pain, whatever the fuck Salvatore did to her and whatever Jack got rid of him still wasn't enough.
Having to sing to get her a decent night's sleep didn't seem painful at first, Katarina seemed to go back to our twelve years when we organized musical performances for our brothers.
Meeting the Man the second time going to the bar was totally unplanned and ever since I got the fucking documents I'd realized that unplanned things had stirred up the little monster Stefano had created in his image.
The urge to make a fuss or get into an unnecessary fight seems to madden my mind, and the urge to kill someone again corrupts my entire being, the sensation of his gaze weighing on my body watching every move on stage.
I tried to compare those ice blue eyes to Stefano's sea blue eyes, but nothing there was the same, the voracity of those eyes drew me straight to a dangerous wasp nest and the explicit desire in every part of his body made me want to have new ones. experiences and actually having a life could not be realized until the plans work out.
I snorted walking to the fridge without feeling any effects from the drink, I would even need to check if I still had any liver after my late husband's parties.
"Anyone who makes you come thinking of me"Theo couldn't take it anymore and tried to imitate my voice — Soon for Mc Blood Angel's Pres?
I opened my mouth in surprise, I didn't expect him to be the president of the motorcycle club soon, I took a bottle of water and sat on the stool trying to process the information and how to deal with my breasts weighing on me remembering his gaze, Katarina's gaze shifted. stuck on me and waited.
- You're not the same - It didn't sound like an accusation, it seems my sister just notes what the last few years have done.
“I'm still your sister.” I tried to sound friendly, realizing that with everything she was still trapped in the memories of the recent past had become a nagging ache somewhere cold inside me.
“Of course it's just that.” She sighed. “I wanted to know, I wanted to be strong like you.
- One day you will get Katarina - the soldier who in recent days seemed to become almost a brother to my twin, tried to comfort.
"I hope it doesn't take too long." In a sad voice, she staggered into the bedroom.
Theo got up and prepared the sofa bed and his makeshift bed on the floor, I put the bottle back in the fridge.
I walked towards the sofa, grabbing a thin sheet on the side, the soldier as usual took off his shirt, only this time when he lay down he started to huff, taking my patience.
"Is it a horse or are you trying to say something?" – I blurted out with the abused tone I've acquired in the last few days.
Not at all offended by my words he asked:
— I needed to release that soon to the president of the Mc — He turned around watching me — If you want to fuck with the plan, you could have said that you're Italian too.
I rolled my eyes even though I knew he was right, for a moment I wanted things in my life to be less complicated.
"Do you think he'll raise questions?" I already knew the answer and yet I expected to hear the opposite.
“Men like that like the hunt, that's all you gave him.
For the next few days, I would have to avoid leaving the house, great more sleepless days.
"I'm glad I'm not prey anymore," I blurted into nothingness.
“No, it's not what it can be anymore, it's even worse.” I turned around raising an eyebrow at the comment.
I started to laugh, which is rare these days, the soldier is a good friend which ends up being a consolation since not being able to talk openly with Katarina was something complicated.
The man used to life of adrenaline, death and orders seems a little out of his space whenever he has to make a decision for himself, I think he tries to get used to the new reality.
I smiled at the thought that came.
“What the fuck is that smile?
“Admit it,” I breathed looking in his direction.
- Which? - He knew what he was talking about and he pretended not to understand I raised an eyebrow.
"I'll let you sleep on the sofa bed if you admit it." He got up, taking the sheet.
- I don't know anything - He smiled, settling in the space that was left - I knew I had space.
He spoke confirming a theory that should be secret since since the new sofa arrived, he didn't even ask if he could.
'Do you think she's going to get over it?' I turned around to face him.
'Do you think you're over it?'
- No. - I sighed knowing I could tell her that - But unlike her, I feel like I really died in that house. - I stopped breathing - I'm another person with a dark smoke in the past.
He turned around causing our gazes to enter into a silent conversation.
“You're a new person and you should try the good side of life.” His crooked smile was a caress.
I thought for a while about your words and could only ask one question.
— How is this desire to kill controlled? – I needed to understand how the soldier was managing to control himself while my body demanded adrenaline and blood.
- You can't get over it - He smiled - Especially when we like what we do.
His smile widened, and I knew that there was something dark behind all the good-guy facade, too, similar to recognize.